13. New Silent

Chapter 13

Hands moved softly along his sides. Michael looked up to the hazel eyes and smiled; slowly their lips connected. Jack was warm, beautiful; his hands were so soft unlike Ricky’s and all those other men. Jack took his shirt off, sat spread legged on top of him and Michael moved his hand on the older boy’s chest, down to his flat stomach, feeling the muscles quivering under his touch. Michael observed the light scars on the boy’s thin arms, feeling a few scars along his lover back. Jack kissed his collar bone softly.

”He uses a whip sometimes… like he would on a rebelling horse…” Jack whispered. ”Once he got so carried away that I bled. But let’s not talk about that more, not right now.”

Michael brought his hand to touch Jack’s soft hair, kissing his forehead and hoping that he could somehow ease his earlier suffering. They had been drinking, the night had darkened and they lay on the bed together, naked, gently caressing each other. At that moment Michael didn’t care to worry about Ricky, things wouldn’t get better, they were what they were and Jack was offering a way to forget that misery for a moment.

Michael trembled from pleasure as Jack kissed his neck, then his chest, moving further down slowly. Jack admired the body beneath him that, despite everything that had happened, lacked unflattering scars like his own. Michael skin was smooth and warm, the warmth felt different than others, there was something so pure about it which Jack couldn’t explain or describe with words. He stroked tenderly the silky surface of Michael’s erection; the organ hot under his touch and the younger boy moaned with his eyes only halfway open. Jack smiled, wanting to give the other something that he would never receive from those that Ricky sold his body to.

Gently he spread the lubrication on Michael’s organ and inside himself before climbing over the younger boy’s pelvis, guiding the other’s organ against his hole. Michael gasped with surprise feeling how his erection sunk inside the other boy, the tightness and hotness were hugging his cock all around which made his breathing hitch and his body tremble with intense pleasure. Jack leaned forward to kiss him, rocking himself above him with a faster pace and Michael brought his hands up upon Jack’s hips watching him through confused pleasure. Jack smiled and licked his lips.

”You feel so good inside me, Micha…” Jack whispered, leaning backwards and continuing his movements, small gasps and moans escaping through his parted lips.

”Jack…” Michael called with hoarse voice. ”I… Oh… gods…”

”Come inside me…” Jack breathed. ”Then I want to penetrate you…”

Michael surrendered to the pleasure and soon felt himself reaching his orgasm. He held on to Jack’s hips, squeezing his eyes closed, panting and quivering. Jack looked up to him smiling sweeping the damp hair from the others forehead gently with his hand.

”You are so beautiful,” Jack whispered and when he felt that the other had calmed down, he got up carefully and still quick enough to prevent the sperm from dripping onto the sheets. Jack took the towel and cleaned up, his cock was still hard as a rock and he gazed upon the other’s relaxed body and smiling face, feeling his organ twitching.

”Can I fuck you now?” Jack asked and Michael looked at him, spread his legs and nodded.

Jack spread the lube with gentle and patient fingers, kissing Michael’s lips at the same time as he moved against him and penetrated him. It hurt at first, but it was so much milder than the previous times and soon forgotten with the gentle kisses. Jack moved against him and Michael gazed at the other’s pleasure, feeling the wonderful sensation grow once more in his own body. Jack managed to rub against his prostate and it made him moan wantonly. Michael hadn’t believed that it could feel so good, he hadn’t believed that he could enjoy the feeling of someone being inside him like this. With Jack, everything previous was momentarily forgotten, they were drowned in their own private world where sex was more than just pain and power battle.

At night they laid side by side, Michael’s head rested on Jack’s chest and he listened to his heart beat as Jack slowly stroked his hair.

”I’m so glad that you’re my boyfriend,” Jack whispered and Michael smiled in the darkness.

”I’m glad that you’re mine,” Michael whispered wrapping tighter against the other, without wanting to let go of the gentle support he got from him. The boy from Texas would always remind Michael that not everything in the world was ugly and it was necessary for survival.

Jack smiled looking down on Michael, admiring his facial structure in the darkness. Suddenly he felt fear creeping in his chest, those warm feelings were dangerous and would only grow deeper with time. The fear of losing was already present and knowledge that before long the separation would have to take place. But Jack didn’t want to worry about that day yet, they would have time, he’d worry later.


April 1998

Michael swayed to the music and laughed.

Jack observed him somewhat mesmerized, got up from the bed and pressed against the other. The smiled at each other, Michael brought his lips against Jack’s and they shared a passionate kiss. The rays of sun glistened in the air like gold and diamonds, colors of rainbow and lights. Michael bent his body backwards as Jack’s arms supported his weight.

”I’m floating.” He sighed, reaching for the sparks of gold with his fingers.

Jack moved his hand along Michael’s bare upper body, up from the waistband to his stomach, chest and finally his lips, feeling the moistness soon wrap around his fingers. ”You’re so light,” Jack whispered, Michael grinned and bend his hands from above his head to the floor until touching the carpet with his fingers, Jack giggled. ”Rubber man,” he said and made the other laugh as well.

”Hold my legs!” Michael said and Jack obeyed, watching as the other brought himself up on his hands. ”Let go!” Again Jack obeyed and watched Michael with amazement, the younger boy was able to hold himself up like that for a while, even moving slightly.

”Wow!” Jack breathed before Michael fell onto the floor, laughing.

”This rug is so soft! Feel it Jack!” Michael giggled, twirling on the carpet and Jack slowly moved next to him and together they twirled laughing until Jack moved close to the others chest, kissing Michael’s neck.

”I love you,” Jack whispered and Michael looked into his eyes and smiled.

”I love you too. Light surrounds you with a halo. You’re my angel, Jack…” The brunet grinned and brought his hand up to touch Jack’s cheek.

Footsteps neared the door, Jack stood up and Michael lay still on the carpet. Slowly the door opened.

”Michael, your customer…” Joe’s voice said and Michael gazed towards the blurry shapes of men at the door, one of them moved further into the room. Jack swallowed and Joe grasped his arm roughly.

”He wants to be alone with Michael,” Joe said pulling Jack with him and the door closed behind

them with a bang. These were the moments that Jack hated, moments that made his stomach churn.

He loved Michael and couldn’t stand the idea how these faceless men would come and rape the one he loved. The men perhaps didn’t see it as a rape, but it was, Jack knew how much Michael hated their touch. The only way that Jack could help his boyfriend was to allow him get stoned before those times. Jack didn’t offer stronger drugs to Michael though he had asked once. One day Michael would be free from this life and Jack didn’t want to make him as drug addicted as he himself was.

Ricky drugged Michael too at times, only because some of those so called clients wanted the illusion of an agreeable partner. Jack hoped that Michael would never have to remember all of those times.


June 1998

One got used to things, one had to in order to survive. Weeks had turned into months, winter turned to a spring and finally summer. Michael had divided his life into two different realities; one where he was with Jack and where he sometimes felt something akin to happiness, and one where Ricky ruled, where he had to learn to tread carefully, avoiding mistakes. Missteps would always cause more pain. He had to balance on a thin line. Outwards, everything had to look normal.

Ricky also lived in two different realities. There were people who visited the apartment and who really saw Michael as being his nephew, one had to be a great actor. Michael thought he was. Michael Anthony Larkin dressed and talked differently than him, Michael had made a clear difference between Ricky’s nephew and himself. He wanted to keep remembering who he really was and where he had come from not to lose himself completely to Ricky’s twisted game. To make it easier for himself, he started to call his role-self with the name of Anthony and introduced himself like that to Ricky’s so called normal acquaintances. The monster accepted it, in fact in some ways it might have even pleased it.

Then there was those men who came to visit or who they visited for sex. Ricky was often there, he wanted to watch or participate and it was the reality that Michael closed his mind from, did his best to forget as soon as it was over, and sometimes that was easier than other times.

Jack was his all, the reason that kept him going. Without him, Michael was sure he would have lost his mind by now. Perhaps getting used to the situation and minor mistakes caused him to be too careless and daring in the end.

It was an exceedingly hot June and Michael had stayed almost the entire week at the apartment when Ricky made long hours at work. Michael hadn’t seen Jack in over a week. He felt restless and bored, Friday afternoon, the clock was ticking evenly, it was too hot outside. Michael missed Jack and waited eagerly for the moment to see him again.

There was only one room that was forbidden to go into. One room that was always locked, but that on Friday had the key left inside the lock. Michael had noticed the fact in the morning when Ricky had left for work and more than once had he passed the room. He gazed at the door with nervous curiosity growing each minute. Perhaps if he just peeked? The temptation grew, and he wondered if Ricky would suspect anything? Perhaps it was a trap?

Michael returned to his room and flipped through the pages of Anthony’s school book. Should he anyway? In spite of everything Michael hadn’t resigned from dreaming of the possibility to free himself. Perhaps the room held the missing piece of the puzzle? The card that would grant him and Jack the freedom to lead somewhat normal lives? Perhaps move to Canada or Europe? Perhaps return home? Michael’s heart began to beat faster and he glanced at the time; only 2pm. He would have time before Ricky returned home!

He began to dream of some mysterious way to buy back his and Jack’s freedom, without knowing what it could be. He could take Jack to Disney World, they could get normal jobs, Jack would give up on drugs and they would be happy. Michael’s palms sweated. He neared the room, trembling from excitement, he would take a risk and he would do it for Jack. Michael wanted so desperately to offer something better for the other boy; his beloved Texas boy.

Lowering his hand on the door handle, Michael finally pressed down. There was no sense of backing up now, he thought while pushing the door open. The room was dark and his hand carefully searched for the light switch and almost startled of the faint click that turned them on.

He looked around.

There was a whole shelf filled with videotapes, a big TV, a couch, table and computer, and a closet. Michael stepped closer to the shelves where the videos had been carefully organized by names and years, the oldest being from 1973 and titled: Evan.

Michael felt a nasty pinch in the bottom of his stomach. There had been couple of times that the monster had called him with that name and he couldn’t forget it. Ricky had come home, into his room, smelling of alcohol, laid down on the bed, gently stroking his face and whispering the name in his ear before tearing off his clothes and raping him. Michael swallowed, felt cold shivers running through his spine before coming to the closet and opening the door. Cameras, folders and boxes, with one box there was again the same name, Evan, written on the front.

Michael stared at the box for a moment, glanced at the door that was left slightly ajar before he turned his attention back on the box. He was careful, as if afraid to unlock some invisible trap, but nothing happened.

Michael sat on the floor with the box in front of him, opening the cover slowly, he glanced behind him and listened; silence. He brought his attention back to the box and what was in it, on the top there was old photographs. Michael’s hands trembled with nervous excitement as he picked up the first; Ricky and Evan, summer 1964. The next photograph presented the other boy alone, it looked like an old school picture. The boy had dark hair and brown eyes, in the picture he looked around 10 years old. The boy smiled brightly showing off his perfect white teeth. Behind the picture there was the year 1967 written on it, along with the name Evan. The same boy was in the other pictures as well. Ricky was with the boy in several pictures, there was no mistake of those dark eyes and as Michael studied closer the pictures of Ricky as a child, Michael couldn’t help but to notice how cold his gaze seemed even though he would have smiled, perhaps one didn’t notice the fact without knowing what to look for, but as one compared the look on Evan’s eyes the difference was astonishing; goodness and warmth versus evilness and coldness. Michael thought and again felt the cold shivers run through his spine.

In another color picture that was dated June 8th 1973, Evan laid on a sun bathing chair near a pool, wearing swimming trunks, the boy looking straight towards the camera and smiling. Michael again felt the shivers, the boy looked so strikingly like him.

There were no pictures after the year 1973. Michael looked at what else was in the box; old school notes with the name; Evan Brisley and old letters addressed to Ricky. Michael took one letter and fiddled it in his hands for a while wondering if he would dare to open it. Curiosity won, he wanted to know more about the boy who could explain why Ricky had brought him into this nightmare.

He began to read.

December 9th 1973

Dear Richard,

I’ve been meaning to write to you sooner and thank you for the support that you and your family have showed us. I believe however, that you understand my reasons for not being able to bring myself to write to you until now. These past few months have been the hardest I’ve ever had to endure and I know you share the feeling with us. The sorrow probably never eases, but I am hopeful that one learns how to live with it eventually. My dear child, my first born is gone and I still can’t bring myself to understand it, or understand the reasons behind his desperate act. How come such a cheerful boy suddenly grew so unhappy that he couldn’t see another way out? I know you feel just as confused about it as we do, after all we talked about it at the funeral. My thoughts are still not running clearly, there isn’t a moment that would go by without me repeating the same question in my head; why? Without me thinking about my sweet child.

You were his best friend for such a long time and you’ve helped our family and I cannot fully express my gratitude to you. You truly are one of the finest and dearest young men that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.

I’m feeling quite exhausted from this pain and agony, I just can’t understand, I truly can’t. I pray to God that one day I would find out his reasons and I pray that our child, our dear Evan would now be at a better place than this.

I really want to thank your family for the help that you gave us on finding a new apartment. There are too many memories in old one and too much pain for us to stay. I find that the hardest are all of the good memories, memories of a son that I’ll never see walking through that front door again, although part of me keeps expecting him to do so. I cannot understand why my heart refuses to believe his death though I saw his corpse through my own eyes. I still see nightmares of that moment.

I’m writing this letter in our old kitchen, after cleaning up Evan’s room, and packing up his things. It took me awhile before I was even able to go there. But now everything is done and we are able to leave this house for good. I’ll send you some photographs that I found of you two. I also have some things of Evan’s that I want to give to you as a memory of your best friend. You truly were dear and important friend to him! I will send an invitation later for you and your family to have dinner with us, as soon as we’ve settled into our new home. We see each other soon. God bless you and your family!

With love and trust,

Mrs Emily Brisley

Michael set down the letter from his hands and again looked at the picture where a boy his age sat on a sunbathing chair. Only six months later the boy’s mother writes Ricky a letter talking about the death of her son. In the letter the woman calls Ricky a fine and dear young man. Michael frowned and he couldn’t help but to think that Ricky had something to do with Evan’s death; Evan’s likely suicide. Again Michael looked at the picture of the smiling boy. The smile looked real, glimmered from his gaze, why would this boy have killed himself?

Michael closed the letter back into its envelope and settled it with the pictures into the box. The box he took back into the place where he had found it. He went back to the shelves and took the tape that also had the boy’s name written on it. His hands trembled slightly when he pushed the tape into the recorder, frightened of what he might see. He released a sigh of relief when an innocent looking home video filled the screen. The picture crackled slightly and there was no sound. There seemed to be some sort of pool party going on near a big house. People passed by the camera, smiled and waved. And then the camera turned into the same boy as in the pictures, wearing t-shirt and shorts. The boy made funny faces at the camera and goofed around. A blonde little girl came to the boy, grasped his leg and said something. The boy smiled widely at the girl, lifted her up and twirled her around. Both were laughing. Close picture of the boy’s face as he set the little girl down. They started walking hand in hand and the camera man followed. The boy glanced over his shoulder, said something and laughed. Michael was completely drawn into watching.

Ricky came home from work. He lowered his briefcase quietly onto the hallway floor and walked closer to the room that he usually kept locked. He saw the door ajar and a cruel smile crept on his face. He opened the door slowly and for a moment he gazed at the boy who sat with his back turned against him. Then his gaze wondered off to the TV-screen where he saw his friend, his long time passed friend. It had been twenty-five years now. Memories returned to him.

Evan Brisley had been his best friend since the age of 6.

Ricky had been taught, from a small boy, to appreciate beauty and that he truly did. The appreciation was more of a lust however and had been that even more as he grew older. Evan had been beautiful ever since his childhood and Ricky had spotted the other boy from the crowd and immediately wanted him, wanted to be near Evan and to be his friend. Evan, who had been from a poor family was very moved by the attention of the rich boy and they had become close friends. Evan’s father had long been out of job and because of this newly formed friendship he was offered and he took the job from the company that Ricky’s father owned. The whole Brisley family had been exceedingly grateful to them.

As the years went by, Evan’s beauty grew and Ricky found himself looking at this beauty in a whole new level; wanting, lusting. From a child that had always gotten what he wanted grew a young man who intended to continue receiving everything. He found that the lust that he felt for his friend grew daily, it grew to measurements beyond control, reason or any morals he had been taught.


June 24th 1973. Ricky remembered the evening perfectly.

His parents had gone to their summer villa and he had stayed home alone. His parents had never denied him anything, they had spoiled him and given him everything he had thought to ask for. Ricky had planned the evening for weeks, watched several porn videos in advance, dreaming of what he would do to Evan while bringing himself to orgasm. He wanted Evan, he wanted to lose his own virginity and he had chosen Evan as his target. His friend had never suspected anything and Ricky had been mesmerized with his own ability to cover his true nature. He had known from the start that his act would be forcefully done.

Evan had been in love with his girlfriend and had often talked how he wanted to marry her as soon as they were both eighteen. Evan had been a foolish romantic in Ricky’s eyes.

Ricky had invited his friend to stay for the night. That day they had swam in the pool and enjoyed the warmth. They had dined well, listened to music and Evan had talked about his girlfriend which had annoyed Ricky. Evan’s goodness and fairness had annoyed him, making him want to break that quality even more deeply. Ricky had goofed around with Evan, made the other boy laugh and all that time Ricky had waited with intense anticipation for the moment later that evening where he would make his friend cry in agony, he had wanted to see Evan hurting, he had wanted to hear him begging for mercy, to understand how insignificant he was compared to him.

As the evening grew colder they had moved inside and Ricky had offered his friend more to drink from his father’s bar cabinet, making sure that Evan’s glass was always full and drinking as little as possible himself. He had watched as his friend had gotten drunker, laughed, and cracked jokes with him. Evan hadn’t had the slightest clue that he should suspect anything bad, he had trusted Ricky completely. After all, they had known each other since childhood. Ricky could still remember the sound of Evan’s laughter that evening, remember his intoxicating smell, the warmth of his skin underneath his fingertips, how the warm brown eyes had sparkled. Evan had been the sexiest creature that Ricky had ever seen in those early years of his life, only made more so by how unaware the other boy had been of the fatality of his own beauty.

Finally Evan had been so drunk that he couldn’t defend himself, just as Ricky had planned.

He had lead his trusting friend upstairs into his bedroom, after Evan had complained about feeling tired and smiled when he had helped the other boy onto his bed. Evan had laughed at some joke that he had made while Ricky had quietly undressed his shoes and socks. Ricky hadn’t said anything, only smiled and taken off his own shirt.

Evan had frowned when looking around and finally at Ricky, who had stood by the bedside undressing himself slowly. He had already sported a hardon at that point, the mere idea of what he was about to do had excited him to the fullest.

”I think I’m in the wrong room,” Evan had drunkenly spluttered and let out a confused snigger while Ricky had pulled his belt from the loops of his trousers.

Ricky had grinned, wrapping the belt around his hand and continued to undress until he stood by the bed in mere underpants, his erection shoving clearly through the thin fabric. He had enjoyed the look of utter confusion on the face of his childhood friend, how he had laughed when seeing his state of arousal and blushed while clumsily trying to sit up.

”I think you want to be alone,” Evan had sniggered, avoiding looking at him.

”Stay there,” Ricky had said. ”Guess what I’m going to do Evan?” he had asked and smiled while Evan had still continued the confused sniggering,

”I don’t want to see you jerking off! Eww!” Evan had said then with a tone that told Ricky that the other still thought the situation was a joke. And the other boy had covered his face with his hands, continuing his mindless sniggering and Ricky had chuckled, almost gently.

”No, I’m not going to do that, but guess what?” Evan had peaked up at his face, holding his hand upon his mouth, blushing, still giggling quietly.

Ricky had tilted his head and smiled. ”I’m going to fuck you Evan.”

The boy had started to laugh even harder and Ricky had joined his laughter.

”Damn you’re drunk…” Evan had said somewhere between his laughter.

”No, but you are Evan,” Ricky had stated calmly and undressed his underpants. ”You have such a lovely, firm ass and soon I’m going to shove my cock inside you and fuck you hard.”

Evan had stopped laughing at that point and given him a look of utter disbelief.

”Ricky, this isn’t funny anymore…” Evan had spluttered and tried to get up on his feet when Ricky had slammed his belt hard across his friends stomach making him yelp in pain and fall back on the bed upon his back.

”No? I think the fun is just about to start.” Ricky had grinned and quickly moved onto the bed next to Evan. The other boy had cried out and screamed as Ricky tore off his clothes.

”I don’t want to! Ricky don’t!” Evan had repeated over and over trying to struggle, but in the end he was completely helpless beneath him. ”Ricky… don’t… don’t.. Please just don’t!” And the more that Evan had begged, the more it had turned Ricky on. ”Why are you doing this to me?…Ricky?!” Sobbing.

Ricky had merely laughed and coldly turned Evan on his stomach, spreading lube on his butt and then trying to penetrate him, but it hadn’t been as easy as he had imagined. Evan had been tight, his body unwilling and tense and Ricky had started to feel frustrated rage when he at first didn’t seem to manage to get inside, In the end it just took a lot more force.

Evan had cried out, whined in pain like a tortured animal and Ricky had felt himself trembling from the mere ecstasy that the power he possessed over his friend brought to him, the pleasure that the other’s pain was bringing. Fierce, powerful thrusts, the beginning had hurt him as well, but towards the end it had gotten better and Ricky had experienced the most powerful orgasm he had ever known, wanting to experience the same again and again.

Evan had trembled all over when Ricky had gotten up and he had seen the blood, it had been his first time and he had yet to master certain cautiousness. He had watched how the sperm had run down his friend’s thighs and the other couldn’t move for several hours because of his pain and shock. Evan had cried, not saying a word and the next day Ricky had driven the pale boy to his home. Evan had barely even been able to sit.

Ricky had threatened that he would make sure that Evan’s family would get into great troubles if Evan would hint even with one word of what had happened. Ricky had threatened Evan’s girlfriend and sister and Evan had been so afraid that he had believed these threats. Evan’s whole world had been shaken, a friend he trusted– his best friend had– done something so afoul to him.

Ricky had walked Evan inside, told his family that Evan had suddenly started feeling ill and to his concerned mother Evan had simply guessed that perhaps he had eaten something wrong. The whole family had believed, a doctor had been called to see the boy, who only confirmed that the boy had a fever, but without Evan speaking of what had happened the doctor couldn’t have known what to look for and it was never noticed how brutally the boy had been raped.

Evan had been sick for a week after the incident and when Ricky found from Evan’s mother that the boy was doing slightly better, he had gone to the house knowing Evan was alone, tied the boy on his own bed and raped him again. This time being a bit more careful than the previous time but still it had been agony to the other who hadn’t fully recovered from the previous time either.

Ricky had told Evan that he would come again, he would rape him anytime he’d feel like it and Evan couldn’t do anything about it if he wanted his family to be okay. He had untied the crying boy and left Evan alone with his pain and humiliation. Ricky hadn’t cared about Evan’s feelings, he had gotten what he wanted and the power had felt great.

On July 31st 1973 Evan had called him and asked Ricky to come over.

”Front door is open, come straight into my room,” Evan had said with a flat tone and hung up.

Ricky had walked in, finding no one else was home, and he had walked into his friend’s room like he had been asked. Evan was lying on the bed, on his side, feet hanging over the edge; blood had splashed on the wall and the sheets, and the gun was still loosely held in his fingers.

Ricky had walked calmly near the body, staring at it. He had then sat on the floor touching the skin that was still warm. He had felt as the warmth had slowly begun to escape.

”Poor foolish Evan,” he had muttered and then seen the letters on the desk, one for Evan’s family, one for his girlfriend and one for him.

Ricky took the letter and opened it.

See what you did? My body is no longer at you use! I pray my last prayer and it is for you to rot in hell Ricky!”

Ricky had grinned cruelly and taken another look of the corpse. ”Always so dramatic.”

He had felt no guilt, he hadn’t pulled the trigger, he hadn’t forced Evan to his early grave. Ricky had no conscience, he didn’t believe in hell any more than he did in heaven. He believed in life here and now, after there was nothing. Life was a game, where he was one of the winners. He lived for himself, for his own pleasure, not for others.

In the end he had called the cops and Evan’s parents. He had managed to get his voice to sound very distressed and made himself cry and quiver very convincingly. He had played the part of a mourning friend frighteningly well and no one had ever known. Evan hadn’t revealed the true reason behind his act. Ricky had seen the letter addressed to the family which had been very beautifully phrased for a beloved family.

Something has happened that I cannot bring myself to explain even at this last moment… I could never trust anyone again… I could never let anyone close again… I cannot see days beyond this day though I tried, I could not bring myself to happiness anymore… The only way to free myself is death, it’s the only way to end what pains me. I am sorry I cannot continue… I do love you, all of you, please forgive me for not being stronger…”

The letter had been filled with innuendos, but no one knew how to read between the lines. Something had happened to Evan, something bad, but everyone was clueless as to what and who they could blame.

Still Ricky was in good terms with Evan’s family. He regularly met with Evan’s younger sister Linda, who had taken him as some sort of brother figure after Evan’s death. He visited Evan’s parents often, offering them financial support and remembering their beloved son with them. All of his actions were more to cover up any possible suspicions; these weren’t acts of guilt. And Ricky had succeeded well. No one knew that in the end he might as well have been the one to pull the trigger, in the end, if looked closely, he might as well have murdered his own best friend for not letting him to see anyway other way out of being forced to endure his cruelty.

Not even Ricky’s parents had ever known to suspect the levels of perversion and evilness of their son, they had been just as shocked about Evan’s suicide as everyone else. Ricky had even comforted Evan’s broken girlfriend and still remained her friend. He knew how to play and he played perfectly.

Ricky watched the screen. At times, he had to admit, he really missed his friend. Michael reminded him of Evan so much, the goodness that radiated from the boy…. Perhaps it was one of the reason why he wanted to keep the boy so desperately with him. Ricky stepped further in, Michael startled, turned his gaze, brown eyes wide from fear. The man smiled, the fear that emanated from the boy seemed to immediately wake the familiar throbbing between his legs.

”You broke my rules, Michael, I must punish you,” Ricky said and opened his belt slowly, pulled it out from the loops and the boy gasped, quivering in front of him.

”T-the door was open…” Michael spluttered, getting up.

On the screen Evan kissed his girlfriend by the pool and the girl smiled, drunk from happiness and love. Ricky glanced at the screen and then at Michael.

”Take your clothes off, Evan,” he said calmly.

Michael trembled, the man was mad, completely insane! ”Ricky?” He started, while slowly backing off.

”Take your clothes off!” Ricky repeated. ”Now!” He roared and slammed the belt against the boy’s stomach. Michael cried out, lowering his hand to protect his stomach, feeling the burn of the slap flickering through him. ”Undress!” The monster yelled and Michael obeyed with trembling hands.

When Michael was completely naked, Ricky hit him with the belt on his back and buttocks, until finally tying his hands behind his back and raping him, all the time calling him by Evan’s name.

When Ricky finally got his satisfaction and woke from his trance he gazed at the youth who lay on the floor trembling.

”Fuck,” he cursed to himself. He had gotten too excited, the boy would be covered in bruises the next day, his lip had been cut and his cheek was red. Visible marks weren’t a part of his plan.

”Will you be a director or a camera man when you grow up?” Ricky startled when hearing the familiar voice that was followed by a gentle laughter. ”Another new camera? Can I try it Ricky?”

The man turned his gaze towards the screen, the video was still playing, Evan smiled, close take of his face.

”It’s only a hobby,” he heard the younger version of himself reply somewhat indifferently. The picture swayed as Evan took the camera and for a while Ricky watched the sixteen year old version of himself grinning.

”Wow this is great…” Evan’s voice. ”Lily!” the boy called after and the picture moved to the girl sitting by the pool, dipping her feet in the water. The girl smiled and waved.

”You are better with this, Ricky,” the boy continued and the picture swayed once more as the camera was again passed forward. Evan ran to his girlfriend and knocked her into the water with himself, both were laughing.

”My Lily is the most beautiful girl in the world, isn’t she Ricky?” Evan asked as they emerged back to the surface and then he kissed the blushing girl’s lips with a smile. The screen darkened for a moment and switched to a picture of a room where Evan laid innocently sleeping on a bed.

Michael’s whimper startled Ricky and annoyed he went to switch the TV off. He took the tape and put it back to its original place. Everything was Evan’s fault, he had lost control.

Ricky knelled to free Michael’s hands and roughly lifted him up on his feet; the boy trembled as he was dragged towards the bathroom.

”Wash up!” he roared, pushing the boy in the shower stall. ”I’ll be right back,” he continued and left the bathroom. Ricky collected clothes for Michael from his room and returned. He switched the water off and roughly dried the kid up, not caring about his weak sniffling.

”Put these on,” he said with cold tone and trembling Michael obeyed. ”You understand now why my rules have to obeyed?” he asked and Michael nodded with his lower lip quivering. ”I’m leaving tomorrow and I’ll be gone for a few days, you cannot leave the apartment and show your face to anyone until the bruises have healed. Do you understand?”

The boy nodded, staying silent. Ricky observed him coldly. ”I don’t know how stupid you take me for,” he continued then and when Michael brought his frightened gaze up to him, Ricky smiled. ”I know about you and Jack, Joe knows as well.”

Michael swallowed and lowered his gaze, he took support from the wall in order to remain standing. ”Understand this Michael, I couldn’t care less what you do when you two are alone, but when one of you misbehaves and acts out of line or tries to escape, it’s the other who gets the punishment. If you want Jack back in one piece, if you still wish to see him, then you do as I say. You will not leave this apartment. Jack is coming with us. I am not satisfied with you right now.”

And as he said it Ricky turned and left the bathroom. Michael burst in tears, worried sick, afraid that Jack would take the whole weight of his mistake. He staggered after the monster.

”Ricky, please…” he begged, but the man didn’t stop. He walked into the kitchen and started preparing coffee without saying anything or even looking at the boy.

”Ricky?” Michael begged, he was aching all over, felt dizzy, but fear for Jack’s fate was stronger.

The man didn’t reply. Michael lowered himself down on his knees and crawled to the man’s feet, he lowered his forehead against his knee.

”I am so sorry, forgive me, please forgive me,” he begged and brought up his teary gaze to the man whose dark, cold eyes watched him. It felt humiliating to beg forgiveness from a devil, but Jack was more important.

”I’ll do anything,” Michael said. ”Please.”

Ricky felt a cold smile creeping on his lips, drunk from watching how great his power had grown. ”Kiss my feet,” he finally said, and the boy gasped, surrendering and did as was told.

Ricky would have wanted to laugh out loud, the boy’s feelings for one another had to be the most perfect weapon thus far. ”Jack will be fine if you obey my orders, go now, I’m tired at the sight of you.” Ricky kicked Michael farther grinning to himself. Even the most stubborn horse could be broken when one knew how.


Michael’s anger towards the man grew, the fear was strong but what Ricky couldn’t have anticipated was how strong the boy’s inner fire was, how deep his desire ran to find a way to rescue both himself and Jack out of this slavery.

One day, the monster would pay for all his crimes, one day everyone would know what he truly was, Michael swore to himself that day.

TBC.Chapter 14

  Published August 31st.2012

            My Secret Shore© KOLGRIM   


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