A/N: Not betad, sorry for the possible mistakes!
Joni hadn’t really had the chance to drive much since getting his licence; it was because of Chris really. The car had been Chris’ and the man had wanted to be the one to drive it, the times Joni had gotten the permission to drive the car could be calculated with one hand fingers. At times Joni had because of it; gotten his father’s cars to use with some excuse, just to keep up his driving skills at some level.
Joni felt slightly nervous when both his father and Misha observed him while he was driving towards home. He cursed when the car’s engine stopped at the traffic lights when the red turned to green and the car behind him honked. When the same thing had happened with Chris once at spring the man had cursed, shouted and called him stupid and helpless slut, Chris had been drunk then and that was the only reason of why he had allowed him to drive his precious car. Nervously Joni restarted the engine kind of expecting to be jelled at, instead Misha showed his middle finger to the impatient driver behind them, his dad smiled and told him to relax and that once he’d drive a bit more it would go smoothly.
They dropped off his father and Misha suggested that they could drive a little more if Joni wanted to practise. Misha was surprisingly calm, he didn’t raise his voice when Joni made a mistake, it was little surprising since Joni had expected that the Russian would perhaps get agitated or annoyed at him quickly. Misha’s calmness made him feel calm as well, Joni was sure that even the future trial would be easier to go through if he had Misha’s support and at the same time Joni feared to lose it. The fear was one reason more to why it started to feel so important for Joni to deepen their relationship, he didn’t want Misha to get bored at him or bored at waiting, and he didn’t want to be the weak victim.
Saturday morning, Misha stretched as he woke 8:20am to the sound of his alarm clock. He smiled to himself finding it easier to get up than normally, there was still lots to be done but he was really looking forward for the alone time with Joni later.
Usual morning routines shower, change of clothes, quick breakfast, Joni was still sleeping and he wouldn’t wake him up this morning. It was already nearing 9am when Ivo finally crawled from his bedroom looking quite tired.
“Okay, I’m going to the store now, Joni is still sleeping, I should be back around noon,” Misha said emptying his coffee cup and settling it on the table. Ivo scratched his head nodded and headed towards the coffee pot, wearing just his boxers. Misha sighed. “And please put some clothes on before Joni wakes.” Ivo poured coffee into his mug, took a sip and sighed contently.
“Uh, yeah what did you say? What time do I have to leave?” He asked making the younger brother roll his eyes.
“Put some clothes on, I’ll be back around noon and you can leave around four or five.” Ivo grinned at this.
“And what time can I return?” He asked and Misha shrugged. “Next morning?” Ivo suggested before Misha could reply. Misha cocked his eyebrow.
“Plan on getting some on your first date, huh?” Ivo smiled innocently at this.
“A guy can always hope,” he chuckled then.
“And here I thought you were serious with this one.”
“I am!” Ivo assured. “Being serious doesn’t rule away the hope to have sex on a first date,” he nodded then grinning even wider he added. “It’s been ages, I’m horny as hell and I can only hope that he would be too…”
“Yes and I don’t need to hear more. Yet all the more reason; put some clothes on before Joni wakes.”
“Okay, okay,” Ivo nodded and headed towards his bedroom with his coffee cup.
“I’m off now! Bye!”
Joni woke up an hour later; he had woken up few times during the night, once because it was so hot and second time because of a nightmare. He sighed, ran his hand over his hair, checked the time and got up. The first thing he did was to head to the shower, spending 15 minutes under the pleasantly warm spray. Then he got dressed; tight, sleeveless shirt and shorts.
He found Ivo in the kitchen reading news paper. “Good morning,” Joni smiled and the man looked up at him.
“Morning sleepy head, are you hungry?” Ivo asked getting up to prepare his breakfast without waiting for an answer.
“I can make my own breakfast, “Joni tried.
“No, no, just sit down and read or something. What would you like; pancakes? Scrambled eggs? Toast?”
Joni sighed. “Ivo, sit down!” He ordered pointing to the table, he smiled then. “When I say that I can do it myself, it means that I want to do it myself, alright?”
Ivo chuckled at this and seated himself back down. “So you don’t need a second mother hen?”
“Please God, no,” Joni grinned, walked to the fridge and opened it, taking a carton of yoghurt and some strawberries which he then mixed in a bowl. “So where is my mother hen?” He asked then smiling with amusement while walking over to the table.
“Mr. Hen had to run some errands, should be back in few hours.” Ivo grinned.
“So when will Dima and Linda arrive?” Joni asked taking a spoonful of the yoghurt, Ivo looked confused. “Misha said they might visit?” Joni continued.
“Oh yeah, sorry but I don’t know about it, I guess I’ve been too busy planning for my date with Jami,” Ivo chuckled.
“So what is your plan?” The brunet asked with curiosity.
“I’ll go and pick him up at 6pm, then first take him out for a drink and we’ll have dinner reservations at 8pm, after that… well, we’ll see.”
“Sleepover,” Joni snickered.
“We’ll see,” Ivo repeated with a smile.
“I think I’ll go outside and read,” Joni decided after finishing his light breakfast. “Do you have any sunscreen lotion?”
“Sure, I’ll go and get it, you can wait outside,” Ivo said and got up.
Joni went to get the book he had been reading and a towel before going to the backyard. The day was beautiful and sunny, warm. Joni lowered the towel over the lawn, took his shirt off and lay down over his stomach.
Ivo stepped outside with the lotion in his hands, swallowing when he saw Joni without his shirt, the bruises had healed quite fast, they were fade but definitely much better than what Ivo had expected them to be by now. Joni was a handsome guy, everybody could see that and Ivo also thought that the young man was sexy. The tall man couldn’t help but to feel sorry for his younger brother who would be facing quite a struggle to restrain himself from that. They were both quite certain that Joni was just trying too hard to act normal; a week ago he would not have been exposing himself like this.
“Here’s the sun block lotion,” Ivo smiled as he approached. Joni turned his face to him and grinned.
“Great, could you spread it on my back?” He asked and Ivo nodded, kneeling down beside the dark haired youth. He opened the bottle squeezed some lotion on his hand and then started to massage it on Joni’s skin. Ivo felt somewhat awkward when he felt a spark of arousal doing this, it was wrong and there was many reasons why it was wrong one of them was the simple fact that Joni was his brothers… boyfriend? But wasn’t it simply natural to be turned on by someone pleasing to the eye? He would never act upon it after all. It was simply just too long since the last time he had sex and he would have to try his best not to seem too eager with Jami later that night, he was after all seriously interested of the young man and would hate to spoil it by pushing on too hard.
Dima had gotten the call from Misha, asking to get Joni out of the house long enough for him to get everything ready. Joni’s new car worked as a good excuse. It was close to noon when Dima got to the house, stepping into the hall and calling for Ivo and Joni, yet getting no reply from either. He headed to the backyard and raised his brow when seeing Ivo massaging Joni’s back, who lay there shirtless and relaxed. Dima also saw the sunscreen lotion, but wondered if it was really necessary for Ivo to keep massaging it so long on his friend’s skin.
He stepped onto the porch and cleared his throat, smiling crookedly when his oldest brother turned his gaze to him.
“Oh hi Dima!” Ivo gave him a wide grin. “What a nice surprise,” he added and put the cork back on the bottle. Joni sat up and turned to see him, smiling and greeting him as well.
“Surprise indeed,” Dima muttered, giving a certain look towards Ivo who seemed clueless of its meaning. He then looked back at Joni who now spread the lotion over his chest, arms and legs. “You look well, Joni.” Dima smiled. “Happy late birthday,” he added and gave him the present from him and Linda.
“Thanks!” Joni smiled starting to open the gift wrapping. Inside there was the newest CD from one of his favourite bands. “Thank you Dima!”
“No problem,” Dima smiled. “So I saw your new car… I was wondering if you would go for a drive with me? And if I could test it as well?” Joni who had been scanning the cover of the CD looked up at him.
“Sure! I just go and change, okay?” He got up collecting the towel, his book and his shirt before hurrying inside. Dima looked back at Ivo folding his arms over his chest.
“You should be lucky that Misha didn’t see that,” he grinned.
“Come on, I saw the way you stared at him! And I don’t think it’s really necessary to spend such a long time spreading sunscreen on someone!” Dima laughed, to which Ivo only smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
“I think Misha would be just happy that I keep such a good care of his boyfriend’s skin, would be a shame if he got sun burn.” Dima glanced towards the house.
“So they really are a couple now?” He wondered. Ivo sat down and spread the lotion over his revealed skin.
“I think so,” he replied. “Misha likes Joni, Joni likes him, and they kiss and yeah…” Ivo shrugged.
“Joni is doing alright then?” Dima asked.
“You saw him, He’s been cheerful like that for few days now, but who knows how long this stage continues.” Ivo looked up at his younger brother, his hand rising to block the sunlight from his eyes. “Perhaps you could get more out of him? You know… see how he reacts if you mention Chris?”
Dima nodded. “I can try,” he promised just as Joni got back.
“I’m ready, let’s go,” Joni said. Dima glanced at Ivo and smiled.
“See you later.”
“I’m so jealous of this car,” Dima sighed while driving the said vehicle. “Could your dad buy one for me as well? If I would adopt him as my dad?” He joked and glanced at his friend who chuckled.
“I can let you borrow my car,” Joni offered. “I don’t know if my dad could afford a fifth child,” he grinned.
“I suppose I have to settle for that,” Dima grinned back. “Would you like to go somewhere special?”
“Somewhere special,” Joni pondered. “Cemetery,” he decided then. “I’ve usually visited my mom’s grave on my birthday, but I didn’t on Thursday.”
“Okay,” Dima nodded looking for a good place to turn the car around. Again he glanced at Joni who was looking out from the window. He hesitated for a short moment. “So, um… do you know when the trial is held?” He asked carefully. Joni sighed and shrugged.
“September,” Joni replied shortly. “Oh hey, park there! I want to buy some flowers for mom.” He said then pointing towards the flower shop that he saw near by. Joni settled the sunglasses over his face as Dima pulled to the side of the road. He felt little nervous stepping out since he hadn’t been out in public much since the ‘incident’ but one had to start from somewhere.
Dima followed his friend to the grave. He watched quietly when Joni lowered the roses that he had bought next to the tombstone, touching the cool stone. They stood there for awhile, without speaking. This wasn’t the place to be talking about what had happened with Chris, so Dima waited until they were on their way back to the car.
“Have you spoken to lawyers yet, or… someone, about the trial?” Dima asked glancing at his friend, unable to read his expression because the sunglasses covered his eyes. Joni sighed.
“No, and I’m not in the mood to talk about it now.”
“When will you be then? I think you should talk about it, you know to be prepared when the trial actually takes place. Time will go quicker than you might think now and…”
“Dima!” Joni snapped looking at him. “I said that I don’t want to talk about it, so quit it! I’m sure I will have to talk about it until I get sick later so fuck just lay off and give me this remaining time to not think about it, okay?!” The brunet was clearly upset and hurried his steps to the car. Dima sighed and followed, he couldn’t help but to worry.
“I’m sorry,” Dima said as they were seated in the car, this time Joni was driving.
“Don’t be,” Joni said now with calmer voice, glanced at him and gave him a small smile. “How’s Linda?” He changed the subject completely.
“She’s fine, waiting for the results if she gets to go to the school where she applied.”
“Oh yeah, to become a nurse, right?”
“Yeah,” Dima nodded.
“So how about her modelling?” Joni asked.
“She does some gigs, but she would rather put focus on studying, get a profession and well… We both want children at some point, she said she wants a family more than to pursue a modelling career.” Dima explained and Joni grinned at him.
“Aw, little baby Dima’s and baby Linda’s, cute. Well I suppose it’s good that at least one of you continues your family name,” Joni chuckled, Dima smiled at him.
“The babies will have to wait for a few years, until we both have steady jobs.”
“Yeah and you are still so young, I wouldn’t hurry about it either… Imagine all those late night feedings, poop diapers and all that whining and crying, runny nose’s, and noise and blergh…” Joni shuddered. “I tell you it’s no picnic, speaking as a guy with 3 younger siblings.”
“I know all that,” Dima smiled. “But children can also bring lots of joy.” Joni glanced at him, nodded and smiled.
“I think you will make great parents with Linda,” he agreed.
“Thanks,” Dima smiled, they were quiet for a moment. “I saw Eva awhile back,” The blond youth said then.
“Oh?” Joni cocked his brow. “Like randomly or?”
“Yes it was just coincident; she asked if I would go for a cup of coffee with her some day soon.”
“I hope you didn’t agree,” Joni sighed and when Dima was quiet Joni glanced at his friend and groaned.
“Dima… Why? That girl is soooo… ugh! I can’t stand her and you shouldn’t either.”
“There’s no harm in being friends,” Dima shrugged.
“Friends, yeah right, that’s why she asked you to have coffee with her,” Joni snorted.
“I’m engaged, she knows that,” Dima reasoned.
“You think she cares?” Joni asked. “It just makes her want you that much more, don’t be fooled Dima, I’d be careful with that woman if I were you.”
“You know, I never really understood why you two hate each other so much, it can’t be just because of Kasper?” Dima looked at him and Joni was silent for awhile staring at the road ahead of them.
“It might have started with Kasper and then she started talking shit behind my back and then what she did to you… It’s been almost three years and she still talks shit about me to everyone who cares to listen, I know because one of my friends knows her too. Kasper would have more reason to talk shit about me than her; I don’t see her reasons to keep at it this long.” Joni sighed. “She’s a terrible gossiper and sticks her nose into other peoples business and she’s dying to win you back from Linda, who is a model! Eva hates models…” Joni’s head started to ache. “Just please don’t let her back in your life, as your friend I am telling you she is bad news.”
“I’m just having coffee with her, that’s all; I don’t plan to sit with her too long. And Joni, I would never tell her any details of you or…” Dima gave him a nervous look and Joni smiled gently.
“Hey, don’t worry, I know you wouldn’t. Does Linda know that you’ll meet with Eva?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Good,” Joni smiled. “Oh you can tell her to send greetings to Kasper from me,” he added then and grinned, knowing that it would only piss the girl off, he didn’t care.
Misha got home around noon when Joni was still out with Dima, he unpacked the grocery bags happy to discover that Ivo had cleaned the kitchen like he had promised. Misha made the early preparations for the dinner later and then started to cook a light lunch, chicken salad with some rye bread.
He had bought Joni another gift as well, since the youth was so into fashion, accessories and such things Misha had bought him a necklace, it had a leather band and a flat silver jewel, he had also gotten him a similar bracelet made from leather. Everything was ready for the evening and Misha was definitely looking forward to it.
When Joni got back with Dima they all ate lunch together. After Ivo asked Joni’s help in picking the right clothes for his date, Dima left home and Misha went to his room to “work” giving no clue to Joni that anything special would be happening later.
Joni sighed as he sat on Ivo’s bed watching as the older man was fussing over his date, showing him different outfits, different ties and then worrying that perhaps tie would be too formal to which Joni agreed. Joni worried of having a boring evening himself, he couldn’t understand why Misha would have to work on Saturday, it seemed unfair.
After helping Ivo, making sure the man looked sexy with few buttons of his shirt undone and his hair styled messy with the help of gel and also picking the right aftershave, Joni went back outside to read. He took his shirt off and made sure that he would be in Misha’s sight should the man look out from the window while doing his stupid work, then perhaps Misha would forget to be so damn responsible?
He lied on the blanket over his stomach, curving his lower back to make his butt stick out better, wriggling as if searching a better position trying to be as sexy and temping as possible, hoping that it would work.
Misha did see him and it did screw up his plans to make use of the spear time to do some useful things related to his work. It was torture and he was sure that Joni was teasing him on purpose! Misha’s mouth felt try and he kept staring at Joni from the window instead of focusing on the computer screen. Was it really necessary to wriggle like that? Misha honestly wasn’t sure how he’d survive the evening if Joni indented to behave this way.
When Ivo came to tell Misha that he was leaving for his date he grinned noticing how his brother was staring at the boy from the window. “So, looks like you’ll have fun date this evening,” Ivo said startling his younger brother. Misha groaned and glanced at him.
“You just worry about your own date,” he said getting up.
“Oh I have everything ready, wallet, keys and condoms,” Ivo grinned nodding.
“How hopeful,” Misha teased.
“There’s no harm in being well prepared, I won’t turn down if sex is available, but I won’t be pouting if it’s not.” Ivo smiled, noticing Misha’s somewhat sour expression. The older man again glanced outside to Joni, before looking back at Misha. “I understand that you must be frustrated,” he said then.
“His behaviour just puzzles me,” Misha admitted. “Like he’s teasing me and … He can’t be ready, right? So why does he act this way?”
“Just his way I guess,” Ivo shrugged. “I don’t really know. You can always try and talk to him but if you want a romantic evening, mentioning Chris will spoil it. Dima said that Joni got quite pissed off at the mention of him.” Misha nodded.
“I don’t really want to talk about that asshole either, but…” Misha sighed. “Well, I guess I just have to try and stay strong.”
“You can do it,” Ivo smiled.
“Yeah, I have to,” Misha sighed and then glanced at Ivo. “Anyway, I hope you have fun and don’t come home too early,” he smirked.
“Oh I’m not planning to,” Ivo grinned. “Have fun with Joni!” He waved shortly turned and left. Misha watched from the window as Ivo went to say goodbyes to Joni, he listened a moment longer until the front door opened and closed and soon after the car started. They were alone now. Misha freshened up quickly, then went to the kitchen and fixed a drink for both Joni and him. Taking a deep breath he headed towards the backyard.
Why did Joni have to be so damn sexy? He wondered as he approached the youth Apparently he wasn’t the only who noticed either, he saw movement from the neighbour house’s window, curious faces of few teenage girls who immediately tried to hide from view when seeing that Misha saw them. “You know you have audience, Joni?” He asked grinning and Joni who had his eyes closed opened them grinning back at him.
“Didn’t you have work?” He asked innocently and Misha chuckled kneeling before him and handing the other glass to him.
“Not anymore, rest of the evening I’m at your service completely,” Misha smiled.
“Completely?” Joni’s expression brightened up as he sat up to face him.
“Completely,” Misha agreed and took a sip of his drink.
“I wonder if you know just what you got yourself into,” the brunet grinned, settled his glass on the ground, leaning forward and supporting himself with his hands as he kissed Misha’s lips softly.
“Come, let’s go inside…” Misha smiled, offered his hand to Joni to help him stand up, together they walked inside. “Now, you can just sit and relax while I will make dinner.” He smiled and kissed Joni’s cheek, glancing at his bare chest quickly.
“Can’t I help?” Joni asked leaning closer, arms wrapping around him.
“I want to spoil you this evening,” Misha whispered huskily, his hand reaching to caress Joni’s cheek.
“I thought you considered me spoiled enough…” Joni whispered in return, brushing lips against Misha’s looking up in his eyes.
“No… I think… I think I would like to be the one to indulge, pamper or spoil you…” Misha’s hand moved to Joni’s hair, the brunet still didn’t have his shirt on and he craved to touch him more thoroughly
“Then indulge me with the pleasure of cooking with you,” Joni asked, soft smile gracing his full lips. Even the tone of his voice sounded sexy and suggestive to Misha’s ears. “And first pamper me with a proper kiss.” It could not be denied; Misha leaned forward catching Joni’s lips into a slow gentle kiss.
“This evening I won’t deny any of your wishes,” Misha promised and Joni grinned at this.
“You really don’t know what you got yourself into…” The younger man snickered and stole another kiss.
“I am not afraid,” Misha smiled. “Now, you can change your shirt and then come into the kitchen with me.” Joni slowly let go, cocking his eyebrow.
“So, no naked cooking, huh?” He joked and smiled at the slightly shocked expression that formed on the blonds face. “I guess it could be dangerous…You know getting skin burns and all.” Joni grinned and turned heading towards the stairs almost snickering on the way, Misha did want him!
Misha took a deep breath before entering the kitchen, this was going to be a HARD evening, Joni’s behaviour certainly was confusing, but surely he could not be over what Chris had done? Or could he? Misha hoped that he could, but still he knew it was dangerous to venture that path just yet.
Joni returned with whole new outfit, looking sexy as ever, only the light bruises on his arms and cheek could remind what had happened three weeks earlier. “What are we cooking?” The brunet asked walking closer to him.
“Beef, garlic potatoes and fresh salad,” Misha replied. “There’s not much to do anymore, the potatoes are in the oven, beefs need to be cooked and salad needs to be cut.”
“I can do the cutting,” Joni offered. “Can I have a drink?”
“Sure, what would you like?”
“Wine please,” Misha poured both of them a glass and then got the salad ingredients out from the cool closet. “We can do this together,” Joni whispered while starting to cut the cucumber into pieces. “You can help me to cut even pieces,” he added and glanced at Misha over his shoulder. “Show me,” he smiled managing to look almost innocent as he held the knife and the cucumber over the chopping board.
“Show you? Just cut what ever size you’d like…” Misha chuckled confused.
“I might hurt myself,” Joni said tilting his head and Misha gulped as he got the idea. Hesitantly he walked closer, standing behind the shorter man who smiled and looked up. Misha brought his own hand closer to Joni’s which held the knife, his other reaching on top of the one holding the cucumber, he studied Joni’s face carefully to see if such closeness would bring signs of discomfort, he saw none.
“I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself…” Misha whispered to Joni’s ear as they started to cut the vegetable slowly together. “Like this, slowly, carefully, there’s no hurry…” He continued as his body pressed slightly closer, his mind was getting cloudy. “Small pieces…” He listened to Joni’s breathing, sniffed his hair and gently kissed the top of his head. His thoughts were escaping to the forbidden direction and if this continued soon he’d have to take a cold shower with some excuse. “There you go, good…” When Joni looked up at him again, Misha swallowed, he hadn’t felt such strong affection or desire to anyone before. “I will cook the meat now, you finish that salad.” He said letting go, trying to think something boring and unsexy to calm himself down.
Joni kept glancing at Misha while preparing the salad. “Why did you trick me into thinking you’d be busy the whole evening?” He asked seeing now that Misha had everything planned before hand.
“Because then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, right?” Misha smiled and took a sip of his wine glass and Joni smiled at his answer.
“I feel happy now,” Joni said mixing the salad in the bowl.
“I’m glad, it was my aim,” Misha said and for a moment they looked at one another. “Go and take a seat, I’ll serve,” he added then and Joni nodded.
The young man sat down in front of the set table, feeling butterflies in his stomach when seeing how nicely everything was set. He sipped his wine, followed Misha with his eyes thinking to himself how handsome the blond really was and how lucky he himself was to have Misha’s affection and care. Everything looked promising, future seemed hopeful that evening and as they ate, chatted, shared few laughs and drank the wine Joni felt better and better, the alcohol relaxed him and Misha’s full focus on him flattered and nourished his wounded self-confidence.
“Dinner was delicious,” Joni said, smiling as his feet reached closer to Misha’s under the table, his toes tickling Misha’s leg suggestively. Misha who also felt a bit more relaxed because of the wine felt a spark of arousal from the gesture.
“I’m glad you enjoyed, we still have desert,” he smiled emptying his wine glass.
“Oh, what is it?” Joni asked with curiosity leaning slightly forward.
“I’ll get it, just a moment.” Misha said, got up and walked to the fridge. He had made some dark chocolate mouse and cut some strawberry pieces to go along with it. He served proportion to Joni who looked pleased. “You have a little sweet tooth, don’t you,” Misha grinned and couldn’t resist the urge to touch his face with affection.
“I confess,” Joni grinned back. “Thank you.”
“More wine?” Misha asked and Joni nodded eagerly.
When Misha sat back down, Joni grinned, dipped one piece of strawberry in the mouse and then leaned over the table to feed it to him, his fingers lingering over Misha’s lips for a moment, long enough for Misha to kiss them. Joni sniggered, his eyes sparkled, Misha thought he looked so absolutely beautiful, he repeated the same feeding action to the brunet, felt another wave of arousal as the warm tongue touched his fingers. It was getting more and more difficult to remember that there still was a trauma that Joni hadn’t had proper time to handle just yet. “It’s good,” the dark eyed youth whispered and leaned closer to kiss him. “You taste the best though,” he grinned after, which made another crack on Misha’s self-control.
“I have something for you, a gift,” Misha said as they parted, trying to regain his cool composure.
“But you already gave me one?” Joni wondered and Misha smiled.
“I wanted to give you your real gift tonight,” he said, got up and went to get the present.
He returned shortly after with the gift, giving it to Joni and then pulling his chair beside him. The dark haired boy grinned looking at him and then at his gift with curiosity, feeling the box with his fingers before opening. The Russian man carefully studied Joni’s expression, smiling to himself, his finger reaching to touch the others thigh, caressing slowly.
“Oh this looks nice,” Joni said taking the necklace from the box, feeling the leather lace and the silver plate.
“It’s from that Kalevala collection, called warrior, I thought it would suit you perfectly and I’ve seen you wearing bracelets before so I got that as well…” He shrugged and Joni leaned closer to hug him tightly.
“Thank you!” The brunet grinned, kissed his both cheeks and finally his lips, longer this time, causing a moan to escape from Misha’s lips.
“Well, this is a nice thank you…” The blond murmured and received another kiss soon after.
“Can you put the necklace for me?” Joni asked with a hushed voice.
“Sure,” Misha smiled, stood up and attached the lock behind Joni’s neck, who at the same time slipped the bracelet over his own left wrist. Misha couldn’t resist the urge to kiss Joni’s neck and ear. “You are handsome…” He whispered and Joni looked up at him smiling.
“So are you, very handsome, sexy…” Joni said standing up as well to face him, they were both already tipsy and Misha wondered if the safest thing would be to stop drinking at that point, if he would get drunk it would be even more difficult to resist the urge, they did have that history… Joni’s lips were over his once more, his hands travelling over his back and Misha’s own hands rested on Joni’s hips.
“I thought we could watch a movie together,” Misha finally said as the kiss broke off.
“Sure, it would be nice,” Joni nodded thinking of the possibility to cuddle more on the couch, Misha was addictive he decided and he was so wonderful to him that Joni wanted to be wonderful to him as well.
“Popcorn?” Misha suggested and again Joni nodded, another kiss, Misha was sure he’d at least have his hand busy later that night while alone in bed. “Okay, go take a seat I’ll go and make the popcorn. What would you like to drink?”
“Can we have a beer?” Joni asked. One more wouldn’t hurt right? Misha wondered and agreed.
Later they sat on the couch, Joni had snuggled over his lap, his head resting over his shoulder, holding the bowl of popcorn and his beer, at times feeding the popcorns to him, grinning and kissing, Misha was beginning to enjoy it a little too much and he had to adjust his position from time to time so that Joni wouldn’t feel just how much he was beginning to like this, it was…. difficult. He also couldn’t deny Joni’s request for another drink, quite frankly his own sensible thinking was quite fading effort at that point.
Misha couldn’t really later tell the point where they had stopped watching the movie and ended up kissing on the couch at Joni’s initiation. Misha felt his body trembling from pure desire, he wanted nothing more than to continue, but his sense kept arguing that he should make them both stop. Joni was drunk, he was tipsy at least and it was just… early… But there he had this sexy, lean body on top of his own, drowning him with eager kisses, showing no signs of wanting to stop. But Misha had to be stronger now! It was just three weeks, he kept reminding himself as he finally cupped Joni’s face, pulled away from the kiss and smiled gently at the confused expression that Joni’s beautiful face adapted.
“There’s no hurry, you know that right?” Misha asked with soft tone, Joni nodded looking at him quietly and Misha wondered what was going through his mind at the moment.
“I do want you, very much so, but we can take this slow…”
“I want to go to the sauna with you…” Joni whispered and kissed his lips.
“Uh…” Misha uttered and moaned into the kiss. Sauna? Naked, sweaty Joni… naked together, gods! Did Joni intend to torture him?! “Sauna,” he chuckled then. “Haven’t you been complaining how hot it is outside and now you want to go to sauna?!” Misha grinned brushing Joni’s hair back with his fingers, hoping that the brunet would change his mind because honestly right now seeing Joni naked and sweaty next to him might very likely kill all his thinking ability.
“Yes,” Joni grinned back. “It’s different in a sauna… I want to go…You said I can wish for anything tonight…” He then pulled on a fake pout. “Please?”
“Okay,” Misha sighed. “If you so wish,” he smiled then and Joni got up so that he could move. “I’ll go and turn the stove on, be right back.” While Misha was gone Joni emptied his glass and got up, walking towards the bookshelf where there were some photo albums, he took one and walked back over to the couch, sat down and carefully started browsing through the pages.
Misha returned and Joni looked up at him grinning. “This is you right?” He asked pointing at one picture, Misha walked closer to look, he nodded. At the picture he was five and sitting on his grandmothers lap. “So cute,” Joni said looking at the picture. “Who is the woman?”
“My grandmother, from mother’s side,” he answered and sat down next to Joni.
“Oh yes, Dima has mentioned her, she’s the one sending you all woollen socks for Christmas, right?”
“Yes, every year,” Misha grinned. Joni looked at him.
“She doesn’t know you’re gay? Or that Ivo…”
“No, she doesn’t. Not many of our family there know and it was part of the reason that Ivo also thought it was easier for me to come live here with him. Ivo was the first one I ever told, by then I had discovered that he himself is bisexual.”
“I’m glad you came here, very glad,” Joni said smiling at him. “Not that I’m happy that your parents…” He quickly hurried to correct himself and Misha chuckled, Joni was cute when he was drunk, not that he wouldn’t have been cute otherwise.
“I understand what you meant, I’m glad I am here as well…” He said, taking Joni’s hand in his. “Very glad,” he grinned watching him with curiosity. “I guess your whole family knows.”
“Yes, I’ve never even tried to date girls or anything, they can be so annoying, you know?” Joni shrugged and Misha couldn’t help but to continue grinning. “I mean, not all of them are annoying, like when they are your friends and stuff, but when they try to be more and especially when they think they can make you un-gay, as if! And you know some are quite perverted, I was like 14 when one of my uncles wife’s friend tried to hit on me, you know touching private places and suggesting to take my virginity, okay she was drunk and just ew! Made me want to puke, I did tell her that though….”
“I bet you did,” Misha grinned against Joni’s neck. “Your dad, how did he react when you first told him that you’re gay?” He asked then.
Joni remembered back, it had been so awkward! Sort of amusing now, but so embarrassing then. “He caught me kissing my cousins friend.” He replied.
“Ah! Mr. wondrous hands!” Misha remembered and Joni playfully punched his arm. “Ouch, but the same guy right?”
“Yeah…” Joni admitted. “Hey can I get new drink and I tell you?”
“Hmm…” Misha hesitated, watching him carefully. “You sure you feel ok?”
“Of course I do! I might be tipsy but I am not drunk!” Joni assured slightly annoyed. “I’m 20 now, I want to celebrate,” he continued and made that cute pouting face that Misha found difficult to resist.
“Alright, what would you like?”
“Vodka,” again it was that almost disturbingly innocent look, Misha grinned and shook his head.
“Okay, I’ll get you some vodka…” He walked into the kitchen and fixed them both vodka drinks with cranberry juice. When he sat back next to Joni, the younger man lifted his other leg between his, taking comfortable position. Misha wrapped his arm around his shoulders, this closeness that they now shared really did feel nice. “So, he caught you kissing?”
“Yeah and he was so red in the face, you see we weren’t just kissing, we were making out on the bed. When Timo saw my dad at the door he looked like he would have an heart attack and my dad screamed at him, you know how he is,” Joni rolled his eyes. “And yeah, I was embarrassed, but tried to remain calm, after dad started talking awkwardly about safe sex, hormones and me being too young for sex, he had his suspicions before and it wasn’t like I ever hided the fact that I’m gay I just didn’t say it out loud either until that incident.” Joni looked at him then. “Have you ever dated a girl?”
“Yes, I was 14 at that time. Her name was Galina, actually we’re still friends, and we meet almost every year, either there or here.”
“Did you sleep with her?” Joni asked feeling curious, Misha sipped his drink and grinned looking down at him.
“Yes, I lost my virginity to a girl.” Misha confessed.
“Wasn’t it icky? Did you like it?” Joni made a face that caused Misha to chuckle.
“Nah it wasn’t icky, but… different and… well… I did imagine someone else in her place.” Misha kept looking at Joni stroking his hair.
“Curious, huh?” Misha grinned. “Just a guy at my school, that I had a crush on back then.”
“What did he look like?”
“Slim, brunet…” Misha kept a small pause. “Not as handsome as you,” the comment made Joni grin happily, almost smugly, which Misha found cute. “You are the handsomest guy I know.” He decided to add, it was true, the alcohol made him honest and it was just fun to compliment Joni and nourish his self confidence to its former level.
“Thank you,” Joni snuggled closer. Misha rubbed his nose against his.
“You like compliments don’t you, you little brat…” Misha whispered, the tone was gentle, not offensive in anyway.
“I do,” Joni grinned. “I am model…”
“Indeed you are.”
“Who was the first guy you were with?” Joni asked then.
“At 16, the guy was the same age, we met online, chatted some time, met, he wanted sex we had sex, but that was really it, we were too different. I’ve had one night stands when I was younger, but I prefer sex in a relationship much, much more.” The brunet smiled at this and kissed him.
“Let’s go to the sauna now?” Joni said and offered his hand which Misha took.
They entered the changing room; Misha felt his pulse speeding up as Joni slowly took off his bracelet and necklace settling them on the counter. The youth smiled at him, Misha smiled back slightly nervous in a situation that he usually would have been confident, where he wouldn’t have hesitated to take the control. He wanted to take the control, be in that normal situation, but Joni… Just three weeks earlier his ex boyfriend had done that terrible thing to him. The younger man took his shirt off and Misha followed the example, the way Joni looked at him, the way he smiled, it was dangerously easy to forget, to fool himself into thinking that everything was fine, that what had happened in the cabin was just a nightmare and not real. This was real, Joni and him, there alone, the youths slender hands opened the top button of his shorts, then the zipper, the motions seemed slow, a look, soft laughter, Joni grinned almost shyly and turned his gaze away.
Misha swallowed opening his belt, his hands trembled slightly, Joni was there, his skin revealed, the fabric slid down on his well formed buttocks, this was torture! Joni glanced at him from over his shoulder before stepping into the shower room, Misha finished undressing, he heard the shower running, he was already half hard, this was insane! He almost wanted to laugh, he wanted, wanted so badly… The running of the water stopped and the door to the sauna opened. Misha followed, wetted his hair quickly in the shower before following Joni into the sauna.
The sauna room was quite small, only three perhaps four depending on their size could fit into it, small steps and a top bench, Joni sat in the corner, hugging his knees close to his chest, chin resting on top of them, his hair and body were wet and he was smiling. There was really nothing that Misha could do to hide his half aroused state as he climbed up the stairs. Joni’s gaze travelled down on his body, but it was difficult to read his expression. Misha sat down, brushing his wet hair back. The temperature in was 65C at the moment which felt pleasantly hot not over powering, Misha had never been a huge fan of hot heat in a sauna like many of his Finnish friends were. “Want me to throw the water?” Misha asked glancing at Joni while bringing his own knee up so that his genitals wouldn’t be at such a display.
“Sure…” Joni answered and smiled, Misha took the ladle and the some water on the stones that brought the steam up. “More? You like hot?”
“This is fine,” Joni answered and hesitantly started to scoot closer to him, making Misha gulp. This really couldn’t be a good idea, could it? “Hi,” Joni whispered when right there next to him, his fingers touching Misha’s arm, tracing the droplets of water and sweat.
“Hi,” Misha couldn’t help but to grin, the situation was just so… weird and arousing.
“Have you ever made out in a sauna?” Joni asked.
“Hmm… can’t say that I have,” Misha answered, wondering if Joni had, dimly wondering if he had done it with Chris which made him not want to ask the same question. At the moment Misha really didn’t want to think there ever had been such a person in Joni’s life. He was starting to do the thinking with his… lower parts.
“Want to?” Joni asked again with that almost innocent look, while brushing his lips against his cheek. What could Misha really say to that? Saying no would be a lie and might offence Joni and… Misha turned his face towards the brunets, his hand caressing his face, in this dim light he couldn’t even see the fading bruises.
“Yeah…” he finally found himself whispering, Joni kissed him softly, his breathing felt hot against Misha’s skin. The blond moved his hand behind Joni’s head, fingers going through his wet hair, his leg lowered down slowly and he felt his organ twist as more blood rushed down to it. Slowly Joni moved to sit on his lap; Misha moaned, trembling slightly as he moved his hands down on Joni’s naked hot skin, stopping at the curve of his lower back. “Joni…” He gasped, unsure what he should say, he wanted the brunet seated on his lap, wanted so badly that it was driving him insane and though he knew they shouldn’t rush this it was difficult to utter the words out now.
“I’m here…” Joni simply whispered kissing him again and Misha couldn’t help but to answer hungrily to it. He just couldn’t think, it was too much, simply too much. He reached his hand between their bodies, on Joni’s cock, pleased to find that he was half hard as well which increased the passion and hunger.
“Let’s go to the shower?” Misha whispered, it was getting quite hot there and very slippery.
“Okay,” Joni whispered, kissed him again and got up slowly. They entered the shower stall together, washing each other, and when Joni gently washed the blonds, now fully engorged member he didn’t show any signs of discomfort or fear, just curiosity, which further encouraged Misha to think it was okay to have sex with him. Misha towelled Joni gently, wrapped the towel around his waist before doing the same to himself. They kissed, the need kept on growing, and Misha lifted Joni up.
“I want you…” Misha breathed out on the way to the living room,
“I want you too,” Joni assured and kissed him which made Misha almost growl from the desire. It was difficult to walk like this, the living room was just nearer, Ivo wouldn’t come home in hours and the couch was soft and big enough. Misha lowered Joni down on the floor, arranged the towel over the couch and then sat down urging Joni with him, on his lap.
“Are you sure?” Misha asked breathlessly between kisses.
“Yes,” Joni whispered and when Misha urged him to lie down on his back he did, following the other man carefully with his eyes. Misha sat next to him, brought Joni’s feet up kissing and licking each of his toes. It made Joni snicker in surprise and amusement; did Ivo and Misha both have some sort of foot fetish? He wondered, feeling the heath spread on his skin, to his cheeks. Misha grinned at him, his eyes were a lot darker now, the lust was evident. Joni moaned when Misha proceeded with kisses along his left ankle, calf, and thigh and finally… Warm lips against his organ, hot breathing, Joni felt himself shivering from pleasure as Misha began to lick and kiss his genitals all over. The situation was somehow crazy, but it felt so good! Joni found his moans getting louder when the blond finally took his length between his lips, moving his head up and down, sucking him eagerly, while a wet finger nudged against his opening.
Joni gasped as the fingertip entered slowly, it would really happen, they would have sex and Misha would enter him. Joni turned his head to the side so that he could see the other man’s fully erect cock, damn it was big – he again took note feeling the nervousness spread in the bottom of his stomach as his body started to dread the pain that would follow. He tried to tell himself that the pain he remembered was related to Chris and not so much to Misha, with Misha he had enjoyed. Thinking about Chris was a bad idea, his body started to tremble slightly which Misha noticed and looked up at his face while sucking him.
Joni managed to smile to the blond, moving his head towards his wet hair, brushing his fingers through them. “Feels good,” he whispered to encourage him.
Misha kept his gaze on Joni’s face while continuing to pleasure him with his mouth, carefully moving his fingertip inside Joni’s tight entrance. He would need something, lube was upstairs in his room, and this wasn’t really planned. But he really needed lube, perhaps condom as well since… Well in this situation it would be more sensible to use one.
Ivo’s room was close by; Misha thought then and brought his head continuing to caress the brunet with his hand. Ivo would have lube and condoms and Misha doubted that his brother would have taken all of his condoms with him and most likely Jami would have his own lube so… He could check at least.
“Wait here, Joni, I’ll get the lube, okay?” He said taking Joni’s hand and bringing it to replace his own hand over his length. Joni nodded silently and Misha got up hurrying towards Ivo’s bedroom.
Luckily both items were at the most obvious place; the top drawer of the bedside table. Misha smiled at Joni when he returned to the room, the boy was touching himself with slow careful moves, his cheeks were red and there was almost shy look in his eyes. Misha walked closer to him kneeling on the floor by the couch, kissing the youth.
“You look so sexy,” he whispered.
“You too,” Joni whispered back. He felt little insecure laying there so exposed and about to have sex, but tried his best to ignore all his fears. He needed this, they needed this; if they had sex then Chris would be forgotten, right? Joni wanted to believe that this was the cure to get over what had happened, that after this everything would be normal and easy. He and Misha would be together and then somewhere in between there would be that quick trial and Chris would be send back to Canada and he would never have to hear from the man again. Joni wanted to convince himself that it would actually be just that easy. “I want you Misha,” he added, reaching to touch the man’s arm. “Need you,” he added.
Misha kissed the younger man hungrily, his words just pushing him further to the stage where it felt impossible to think within reason, just allow to be controlled by lust. His breathing was harsh as he spread the lube on Joni’s opening. His finger circled the tiny hole and carefully entered the first digit, pushing further inside, glancing at Joni’s face who gasped at the feeling. Misha’s lips kissed the tip of his cock, his warm tongue licking along its length and finally the man’s lips surrounded him once more and it was moist, hot, soft, and so good. The blonde’s other hand reached to caress his face, Joni bit his lips raising his hips slightly, tensing for a moment when another finger entered him. What if Chris would find out? What if they knew at the trial that he had slept with Misha so early? These were such silly thoughts, but he couldn’t silence them.
“Okay?” Misha asked, replacing his mouth with his hand for a moment.
“Yes,” Joni replied continuing to concentrate on the pleasure that Misha’s hand brought to him.
“Relax, just relax…” The blond whispered with soft voice, making his moves gently. “Breathe and relax.” Joni did, breathing in deeply, watching the Russians face, finding it important to see the blond, to see it was Misha and not… his ex.
Misha didn’t hurry with the preparation, when Joni finally seemed relax enough, he urged the brunet to lift his hips up so that he could slip a pillow beneath him. “This is okay?” He asked again and Joni nodded watching him. Misha wiped his hands to his towel before using his teeth to open the condom wrapping.
“Y-you think I’m not clean?” Joni asked suddenly feeling somewhat upset, they hadn’t used a condom the two previous times and though then it would have been better if they had and then Chris wouldn’t have… His thoughts were dangerously starting to travel to that direction again. What if Chris had actually cheated on him? What if Chris hadn’t been healthy after all and… Misha smiled at him, kissed his cheek.
“I know you are clean, Joni, it’s just better to use this now, I don’t want to any damage to you, it’s just to protect you okay? Just relax.” Misha said as he slipped the condom on, before planting another kiss on his lips and carefully moving on the couch between his spread legs. Another kiss, Misha’s tongue moving between his parted lips. Joni answered slowly, brushed his tongue softly against the other, he shivered when he felt the tip of Misha’s hard flesh nudge against him, it was going to happen and his heart beat speeded up at the realisation, but he wasn’t going to back away now, convinced that this was some sort of cure to fix things, fix him so that he could carry on a life with Misha in it.
Misha continued giving Joni gentle kisses as he positioned himself and slowly started to penetrate the younger man. The brunet gasped and as he pushed in a bit more there was a soft whimper that made him stop, Joni’s inner muscles also seemed to tense up, preventing gentle proceed and there was no way Misha would relentlessly keep going. “Are you okay? Want me to stop?” He asked kissing Joni’s cheek softly, collecting the tears away with his thumb and just staying still.
“No, don’t stop,” Joni replied, stubborn to prove to both himself and Misha that he wasn’t spoiled by the rape. “Don’t stop,” he repeated and even managed a small smile, slowly moving his hands down on the blonds back to his buttocks, squeezing them to encourage him. Misha groaned, the muscles gave in slightly making it possible to move in further into the tight, maddeningly pleasurable heath, all the way until reaching the hilt.
Joni gritted his teeth, it did hurt and his hold on Misha’s buttocks tightened, he didn’t want to cry, it was the last thing they needed right now. The taller man kissed his forehead again staying still inside him. “You’re hurting,” he noticed.
“I’m fine,” Joni assured and Misha reached between their bodies starting to caress his softened member, which started to response to the stimulation. Joni licked his lips, let out a small moan which made Misha smile since he could also feel him relaxing enough to make the backward forward movement possible.
“Oh fuck…” Misha muttered to himself, shivering from pleasure his movements taking a more steady rhythm. “You feel… amazing…Joni…” Another moan, his free hand went to Joni’s wet hair, kissing the full lips of the brunet.
The weight over him made Joni aware that not all of his bruises were so completely healed as he would have wanted, the pain lingered, at times reminding of its existent yet leaving room for pleasure as well and Joni did his best to concentrate on the good, the alcohol helped, without it he would have perhaps been hurting more, without it he probably wouldn’t have been able to go through this at all yet.
There were too many thoughts; Joni found that he simply couldn’t surrender to the pleasure completely. The memory of Chris kept reminding of itself, the whispers… It was frustrating, Joni held on to Misha, his hand wrapped around the man’s shoulders, other behind his head, fingers tangling in the wet, blond locks. His legs were wrapped around Misha, he squeezed the blonds buttocks with his calf’s, listening to Misha’s breathing, and grunts of pleasure.
Misha kept pleasuring him with his hand, but Joni just couldn’t get to that stage where he would allow himself to fully enjoy, Chris was in his head and it made him groan in frustration. “Faster…” He found himself whispering to Misha’s ear, hoping that it would silence the painful memories.
Misha brought his face to look at him, his lips were moist and parted, he was panting, sweat glimmered on his forehead and moment later their lips met into a kiss. The movements speeded up, Misha lost himself in the pleasure and though he tried to prolong it in hopes to make Joni come first, soon it was just too much to fight.
Misha moaned Joni’s name, his muscles tensing up as he reached his orgasm, the movements became slow and finally he stilled, trying to control his breathing, resting on top of the lithe body for a moment longer. He smiled and kissed Joni’s lips lazily, still feeling the wonderful after glow.
But Joni hadn’t come, it made him feel guilty. Misha pulled out of him as gently as possibly looking worriedly at Joni’s face. He looked somewhat uncomfortable, but Misha wasn’t sure if he was just imagining it. “You okay?” He asked, slipping the used condom off before bringing his hand back to caress Joni’s organ.
“Yeah…” Joni nodded trying to smile. In truth he felt somewhat weird about the whole situation. “You are such a whore, Joni, aren’t you? Always willing to spread your legs…” It was Chris’ voice in his head again. “Slut, begging to be fucked…” Joni didn’t want to hear that voice, didn’t want to agree with it, but it was there. Misha kept looking at him before he moved with kisses to take him into his mouth, sucking him gently. Joni felt his body shivering from pleasure, he released a small moan, but in his mind everything was too confusing and he almost felt close to tears, annoyed at himself because it hadn’t gone like he planned, because it hadn’t fixed the whispers like it had been supposed to do. He wanted to enjoy, surrender and enjoy, but something inside prevented it, this nagging feeling prevented him to surrender so that he could reach the orgasm that his body graved.
Joni reached his hand in Misha’s hair, gently signalling him to stop and the blond gave him a confused look that just made Joni feel lousier. He felt like a sorry excuse for a man, a failure, a whore, he felt embarrassed. “I-I’m tired…” He whispered. “I’m sorry… I think… it’s the alcohol…” Joni worried that Misha thought he didn’t enjoy it, he did and he just couldn’t understand what was wrong with himself, why couldn’t he just… forget and relax, allow himself to have an orgasm?
Misha gave Joni a sad look; the guilt inside kept spreading and he couldn’t help but to feel the bitter feeling of failure taking its nasty bite on his ego. It had been too early, he should have been stronger and now he feared he had screwed everything up and… it bothered him that Joni hadn’t come and that he had stopped him from trying.
“It did feel good,” Joni hurried to say, somehow wanting to reassure the other that the fault was not in him but in himself. “I just…” Joni felt close to tears, upset at himself, at Chris, the feeling that there was something wrong with him.
“I understand,” Misha said reaching to touch Joni’s face. He felt awkward, the guilt was strong, Joni was upset and Misha wasn’t sure what he could say to make it right. Joni sat up slowly, shivering from sudden cold, he tried to smile, kept looking at Misha fearing that the man wouldn’t want him anymore because there was something wrong with him, because it hadn’t gone like it was suppose to go, like before. Misha wouldn’t want to be with him now; it was what he feared the most. Joni snuggled closer.
“I’m cold,” he whispered, wanting to feel to comforting arms around him to be assured that it was okay, that it would be okay. Misha’s arms wrapped around him, slowly stroking his skin. “I can sleep next to you now, right?” Joni asked, resting his head on Misha’s shoulder, hoping that the blond wasn’t upset at him.
Misha smiled brushing Joni’s hair back though he still felt uncomfortable, like he would have taken advantage of Joni who maybe had just wanted closeness and thought that to get it they’d have to have sex, Misha was confused and upset, not at Joni, only at himself.
“Sure you can, of course,” he replied. “Now let’s go wash up then to bed.” And as they walked back towards the shower room Misha couldn’t help but to see how awkward Joni’s walking was compared to earlier that day and it only doubled his quilt. He should have had more self control than this!
A/N: Please review , either on shout box or the questbook where the review link leads to, thank you 🙂
Web published: September 6th, 2010.
My Secret Shore