A/N: Okay, it is true, only one more chapter after this! 😮 But as I’ve said before, there will be a sequel, so no need for goodbyes yet 🙂 And again this hasn’t been betad yet, so I beg you to bear with the mistakes and please tell me if you find some major ones or just… yeah, reviews would be very desired, as always
”Okay, throw me off…” Misha whispered in his ear. The blond was holding him against his chest, arms wrapped around him in a secure hold. Joni tried to struggle, he tried to squirm, he tried, but it was useless.
”I can’t! You now I can’t! You’re bigger than me and it’s not fair!” The smaller man sighed with frustration. Misha wanted to teach him self defense, but after awhile of practicing Joni found this all rather ridiculous, Misha was taller and much stronger, how the hell could he throw him off if the blond didn’t even give him the chance to move his arms. ”Let go!”
”When someone attacks you, they are not going to play fair.” Misha whispered in his ear. He knew Joni had little chance to fight him off now, because he didn’t yet know the little tricks that he could use and this was one lesson to make him want to learn them. ”Think, what would you do, if this was real?” Again the brunet tried to squirm and Misha chuckled. ”Not working.” He said, feeling somewhat ashamed when he found this a bit too arousing and he was quite sure that Joni wouldn’t be ready to play such game and besides what mattered now, was to teach him, just in case he needed it in the future. In case Chris ever… returned.
”I will soon kick your balls!” Joni snapped. And when Misha again chuckled the brunet added. ”I mean it!”
”Oh, I know you mean it and yes, if this was real it’s certainly something you can attempt to do, but I beg you do not to try it now.” He sighed and finally let go before Joni could feel his hardening member. The brunet turned and rubbed his arms watching him. ”Did I hurt you?” Misha asked with concern.
”You held me pretty tight,” Joni sighed. ”But I’m alright, I just don’t see how I could get free from that?”
”Well, the trick is to try and prevent getting into such hold.” Misha said and Joni cocked his brow. ”When the attacker approaches you from behind and tries to grasp you… okay stand there…” Misha again turned Joni around, his back against him and the younger man sighed. ”Now, I’ll grasp your arm and you…”
”Have no idea, except to kick and scream and… bite?” Joni said grinning and turned his face to the blond. ”I know that one should rather call fire than… ’help I’m being attacked,’ does that work? Or pepper spray? Though is that forbidden weapon these days?… ” Joni wondered. ”Is hairspray forbidden? Not that I would walk around carrying hairspray with me.”
”You’re not taking this seriously,” Misha sighed.
”And you’re not a good teacher in self defense,” Joni said and turned to him. ”I’m sorry, but I am not learning anything here. Except that this seems to excite you,” he said glancing down at his boyfriends crotch and then back up with a grin.
”I was coming down to better means…” Misha muttered. ”You attack me and I’ll demonstrate what you should do.” He said. Joni moved closer and kissed him.
”I’m lacking the ability to concentrate now…” Joni whispered. ”Teach me later…” He added and slowly pushed Misha towards his bed until the blond sat down on it and Joni moved to straddle his thighs.
”Will you promise to concentrate later?” Misha asked suddenly slightly out of breath as his hands moved slowly down on Joni’s back.
”Yes,” Joni whispered kissing the blond again, slowly starting to rock his hips against his. ”I promise…” He added. He knew that Misha still worried about Chris, just like his dad did and he knew he too would be restless when the actual date of Chris’ release would draw closer, but that was still months away and he still wanted desperately hold on to the thought that Chris had given up. He didn’t want to think of his ex, he wanted to concentrate on Misha and their slowly improving sex life. Surely the blond couldn’t complain on that. So that Saturday afternoon instead of continuing the self defense practice they ended up humping each other on Misha’s bed. Yes, Misha definitely couldn’t complain.
The day turned into a night. The lessons of self defense completely abandoned for that day, from the way of bathing in sauna, having dinner and then watching a movie. By Midnight they were back in Misha’s room, on his bed and under the covers, naked.
There was a small lamp on the table that illuminated the otherwise dark room. The first kisses were gentle and slow, Joni felt so warm against him, so good, Misha moaned into the younger man’s mouth, they lied side by side chest’s perfectly align, their erections rubbing against each other. Misha moved his hand slowly down on Joni’s body, stopping to rest on his lower back.
He looked at the younger man’s face, the warm brown eyes and small smile tucking at the corners of his lips. ”This feels good,” Joni whispered and Misha grinned leaning forward to his face to steal another kiss.
”Yeah…” Misha agreed and felt his erection twitch with anticipation for more. ”Very…” He added and tentatively moved his hand lower to caress his lovers round bottom. Joni closed his eyes, sighing contently.
Joni swallowed and licked his lips as Misha continued to caress and massage his ass cheeks, gently without attempting to intrude inside. He could feel the heath spreading on his skin, on his face, he closed his eyes for a moment, Misha’s erection rested against his thigh now and he didn’t feel fear. The blond’s arms were safe and strong and Joni felt hot. Misha slipped his hand lower, gently squeezing his buttocks from below and Joni moaned. His eyes flickered open and he met with the intensive stare of his boyfriend. Misha grinned lazily, Joni looked back blushing with sudden neediness. Almost, he was almost there, in that state of mind where he could ask Misha to fuck him… No, make love to him, move inside him, but not quite, almost but not quite. But he was pretty sure it wouldn’t take long, these touches helped, so gentle and arousing making him more secure of the more pleasant memories and yearning to make new ones. He kept the eye contact, as his hand slowly moved to wrap around the blond’s enormous erection. Joni gasped, surprised of of how horny he suddenly felt.
”I- I want to give you head…” He whispered, a brief shy look passing on his features and Misha’s grin grew.
”What ever you want baby,” Misha whispered huskily and licked his own lips in anticipation.
”Lie down,” Joni asked, gently pushing his chest back and Misha did, laid on his back allowing Joni to take the control. It was getting easier for him, to allow Joni take the lead and hold it, they were moving forward and there would be time to explore all possible ways to make love.
Joni kissed his chest, slowly moving lower hands adoring the blond’s broad chest, the trail of light hair starting from the navel, Joni’s finger moved along the path and soon the blanket moved to the side and the long thick organ that stood proudly upwards was revealed. Joni kissed it, brushed his cheek tenderly against the warmth of it and Misha moaned as he watched him, the gesture reminding him of a sexy kitten.
Joni explored him with his hands, his lips, soft kisses and warmth, a lick of his tongue. Misha brought his hand into the soft dark hair that was getting quite long and wavy, Misha thought he wouldn’t have minded if Joni kept his hair like this or even longer. The brunet was so beautiful, and everyday his beauty only increased in his eyes.
Joni gave a tentative lick to the head of Misha’s erection, looking up in his eyes. He smiled at the blond who moved his hand to gently caress his arm. Feeling bolder Joni slowly took the tip of the cock in his mouth, while his hand caressed the base in slow steady rhythm.
Misha moaned, his eyes half open and observing him, hand was back the brunets his hair, but it was a tender touch. This was definitely different Joni soon discovered, little by little he got more excited in the process, eager to please and he enjoyed it. It wasn’t anything like what it had been with Chris in the last months of their relationship. Misha didn’t force him to this, with Chris, sometimes he just held him in place while fucking his mouth and calling him a whore or a slut. But Joni was able to close those memories this time and focus, he kept looking at Misha and his pleasure and the blond was able to control himself, staying moderately still and simply enjoying Joni’s hot mouth on his cock. Joni was good at this, the best and the small clumsiness and insecurity that he had sensed from the start were slowly melting and the eager boy, whose skilled mouth he remember from years ago seemed to have returned.
It didn’t take long for Misha to feel close to the edge. He placed his hand gently on Joni’s forehead, to signal him to draw back if he didn’t want him to cum in his mouth. ”C-coming…” He panted and Joni for a split second wondered if he was ready or not finally decided to draw back at the very last minute before Misha’s cock released his seed over his hand and his own stomach. The blond sighed with content, smiled blissfully to himself with his eyes close and Joni observed him with curiosity before leaning closer to carefully taste the sperm with his tongue. Finding that the taste as pleasant as sperm could be, Joni started slowly cleaning his spent cock with his tongue and Misha pulled his stomach in, grinning and opening his eyes to look at him. His hand back in Joni’s hair to gently stoke through them to show his appreciation.
”I love you…” Misha whispered and Joni smiled, slowly crawling on top him.
”I love you too…” He whispered looking deep into the blue eyes that held so much affection to him. Joni felt warm and at peace, he felt happy. Misha snatched his lips into a slow playful kiss and wrapped his arms around him to hold him close. This felt right and good and Joni smiled when he lowered his head on Misha’s chest listening to his heartbeat.
”I want to move in with you…” Misha whispered. ”I think we should live together, let’s find a place together.” Joni moved his head so that he could see the blonds face.
”That’s just the orgasm talk, Misha” he grinned and the blond looked at him seriously for a moment.
”No, it’s not. I’m serious.”
Joni was quiet for a moment, of course he wanted to live with Misha, he wanted to be with him always, but he didn’t want to repeat those earlier mistakes that he had done with Chris and rush into things. What if they would end up fighting? What if Misha would soon discover him too annoying? What if…?
”What do you think?” Misha asked.
”I don’t know… I only know I love you…” Joni whispered. ”There’s no rush… Is there? We can talk about it later, right?” Misha sighed and was about to say something when Joni sat up, took his hand and brought it to his own still hard cock. ”My turn?” He asked almost innocently and Misha smiled, flipping him over to the bed and hovering over him.
”Your turn,” he agreed and hoped that Joni’s later wouldn’t take too long.
It was a gloomy November morning, gray and raining outside. Joni had always hated this time of the year, not really fall not yet winter and people were behaving just as gloomy as the weather was. Joni parked his car and stepped out where tiny raindrops, almost like wet fog fell. He sighed, wishing it would snow early this year as he raised the hood of his jacket and hurried across the street where the hair salon was. It was the first time he was there and he knew he should have had his hair cut a lot more earlier. His hair was again over grown, if possible it was ever worse that the last time before Jami had cut it. Somehow, with the trial and Misha and the therapy and the stupid tabloids and well… everything! His hair had seemed like the least of his problems and he had discovered the wonder of headbands. Misha didn’t seem to mind his over grown hair, quite the contrary. The blond said it felt nice to play with, that it suited him that it made him look… pretty. Of course he had then stumbled over his words, saying he always looked pretty, correcting the word to handsome when Joni had gave him a glare and then Misha had continued to try and make it sound better. Joni had eventually rolled his eyes, he was not going to grow long hair, even if the blond would think it might look really interesting.
It was two days since the blond had suggested moving in and they still hadn’t had a proper talk over it. Joni’s mind was swirling with different thoughts concerning the subject. He really did love Misha, deeply and passionately, but he couldn’t let go of his fears. They hadn’t been a couple that long, they were still learning new sides of each other and what if Misha would decide that he didn’t like some of his attributes in the end? Then it would all be so complicated and Misha would end up hating him; that Joni feared the most. What if they would fight all the time? And… Joni sighed. He didn’t want to live at his parents either for long, his dad, as much as Joni loved him and appreciated him, he was overprotective even more so now and… He just needed independence. But living alone? He wasn’t sure. Everything felt so complicated, but suddenly Ivo’s suggestion didn’t sound all that bad.
Joni got inside, pleased to get out from the cold weather. Inside it was warm, but it was far from cozy, too modern and too..spacy. The girl at the front desk greeted him, looked at him in that certain way that told him that he was recognized. Joni smiled hesitantly and greeted her back. ”Hi, I had an appointment with Jami…” He said.
”Here I am!” He heard the familiar voice and turned to him, he smiled somewhat relieved, noticing other looks that he was getting from other workers as well as customers.
This was a place where tabloids were definitely read. ”You can leave your coat over there, horrible weather, right?” Jami smiled and Joni nodded undressing.
”Disgusting,” Joni agreed and then followed the shorter man to his station.
”Do you ever get used to it?” Jami asked with low voice as he took a seat down.
”Used to what?” Joni asked.
”People staring at you?” Jami asked, still keeping his voice low as he placed the cape on him.
”It’s uncomfortable really, because I know why they stare at me, thanks to the tabloids.”
”It will wear off…” Jami said then. ”I think.”
”Perhaps, here’s hoping.” Joni smiled. ”Anyway, I talked with my agent and I plan to return to work and yup, you need to safe me because my hair is quite horrid again. I have emo hair…” Joni made a face and took off his hairband. ”I mean look at this” He lifted the dark brown strands of hair that in some lights looked almost black and Jami chuckled.
”It’s not that bad…”
”Ah now, don’t lie and don’t say I should grow it long because that is never going to happen!” Joni nodded.
”Hah, yeah and I prefer you having shorter hair, good for my business you know; you have to come here more often,” Jami winked and took the comb. ”So, same as last time?”
”Yes,” Joni nodded.
”This time I think I’ll cut your hair first, it’s really quite long now and no use to waist the color,” he grinned.
”Yeah, just… yeah, I trust you. I’m happy if it looks like it did the last time.”
”Alright,” Jami nodded and sprayed Joni’s hair wet, combing it through and dividing it into neat sections with pins. He took the scissors and grinned at the younger man who observed him carefully through the mirror. ”Don’t worry, I won’t do anything funny to your hair, I promise.” Jami swore. ”We’re almost family now after all and the rule is never screw up your family’s hair or you’re never hearing the end of it,” he chuckled and Joni smiled at him through the mirror.
”I’m sorry if my staring is bothering, old habits just die hard I guess.”
”It’s okay.” For a moment he continued to cut Joni’s hair silently, aware that the younger man kept close eye on his ever move which was kind of amusing. He hadn’t met Joni often, but enough to form an opinion that he liked the boy. He would have liked to tell him how he admired him for pulling through so well after what had happened to him, but he wasn’t sure how to say it. And this was definitely the wrong place to speak of it.
”How have you been feeling?” He decided to ask then, their eyes met briefly through the mirror and Joni looked down, gazing at his hands for a short moment.
”Better,” he replied. ”Much better…” He added and smiled slightly.
”Good,” Jami nodded.
”So you and Ivo…” Joni started. ”Did you decide where to live yet?”
”Well… It’s still open. I think Ivo needs to discuss with Misha first. I gather that he wasn’t so keen of Ivo’s idea?”
”Well…” Joni started unsure how to say it. ”He was surprised.” He decided and Jami grinned.
”You as well, I imagine?”
”Well, yeah,” Joni admitted. ”How do you like the idea?” He asked with curiosity and for a moment Jami looked slightly uncomfortable or perhaps he was just imagining it?
”The thing is, I have to move from my place and so… ” He shrugged.
”Why?” Joni frowned.
”Well… It’s my grandmother’s apartment, I was renting it from her since she moved to Canaria on her retirement, after grandad died. Anyway… She was visiting my parents and heard…” Jami sighed and shook his head. ”She heard about Ivo and me, so now she wants me out of her apartment, unless I agree to break up with Ivo.”
”What?” Joni asked. ”Didn’t she know you were gay?” He frowned.
”She knew, just didn’t want to accept it. I guess she thought it would wear off or something. I think my parents were hoping something alike as well. You see, Ivo is my first boyfriend that I wanted introduce to them properly, but they don’t want to meet him. My dad especially and mom rather takes his side than mine and then dad told his mother. I knew my family were prejudice, but I didn’t realice it was this bad.” Jami sighed. ”It’s bad enough that I’m gay… but apparently Ivo was too much to them, because he’s older and he’s Russian. Mom thinks he’s only using me and probably wants to steal all my money,” Jami laughed but his eyes remained sad. ”I asked her what money? And she couldn’t answer, I told them Ivo actually earns a lot more than I do. They don’t have any valid points, they just keep vomiting out silly old prejudice arguments and I told grandma that I rather move under the bridge than keep living in her precious decent place where the man I love is not welcomed. She said I was silly an ignorant young man and that they’re only thinking my own best, which is; dumping Ivo before he hurts me bad. I told them to go screw themselves and left from the stupid meeting… so yeah, now I have one month and bunch of furniture that I have to replace somehow, I thought I would rent a storage room for them until we figure this situation out.” Jami hadn’t meant to tell Joni the whole unhappy situation, not wanting to bother the young man with his silly problems when he had enough of his own. He continued to cut his hair feeling somewhat embarrassed.
Joni realized he was lucky to have such a loving family, even though his dad could easily get on his nerves he had never been nothing but supportive and loving. Sometimes it was difficult to remember that other parents weren’t quite as tolerant. ”I’m sorry, but your family do sound like bunch of jerks. It’s their problem not yours if they can’t accept Ivo, who by the way is great person and I can see that he really cares for you.” Joni smiled. ”And I’ve actually started to think about Ivo’s suggestion as well”, Joni confessed, noticing the others embarrassment which he saw no good reason for. He was actually happy that Jami had opened up to him, since Jami knew the troubling details of his own past with Chris. ”And… Well, Misha did ask me to move in with him… I just think, well I’ve come to think that we might be making a huge mistake if we rush into getting our own place… Ivo’s idea… It could work for sometime.” Jami gave him a surprised look and smiled.
”But Misha, what does he think?”
”I have to talk to him,” Joni answered and shrugged, looking back at Jami through the mirror. ”In normal circumstances, I don’t think he’d mind that much… I think…” Again Joni quickly glanced around to check that no one was too close to hear them. He lowered his voice just in case. ”It’s because of what happened to me and… Ivo can be… loud…” He blushed slightly and Jami as well when he realized what he was referring to.
”I’m sorry about that…”
”I don’t mind,” Joni grinned. ”But Misha is worried that I do, I think and well, Ivo is his brother…”
”I talk to Ivo… about that…” Jami promised still feeling slightly embarrassed because he knew he could be loud too, at times.
”Well, I’ll talk with Misha tonight,” Joni promised. ”Perhaps then we should all talk together?”
”Sure,” Jami nodded. ”And thanks Joni…” He smiled.
”No need to thank me,” Joni grinned at the other. ”I think you and I will get along really well.” He said and the other nodded.
”I think so too,” Jami smiled and Joni knew he had made a new friend, a friend that he could trust on.
Monday evening they were in Misha’s room. The blond sat in front of his computer and Joni laid on his bed reading a magazine at times glancing at his boyfriend.
”I’ve been thinking,” Joni finally started and Misha turned his full attention to him. ”About Ivo’s suggestion and yours…” He added, observing the blonds expression that turned into mild surprise when he continued. ”I don’t want you to think that I wouldn’t want to live with you, because I do, I just, I don’t want us to rush…” Joni took a small pause and sat up on the bed.”I mean with Chris…” He was sorry to have to say that name out loud, but he needed to. ”We rushed into living together way too fast and…”
”You’re not worried that I would end up like him?” Misha asked with a frown.
”No, of course not. But I worry that we might fight, argue or get in each others nerves…” Joni said slowly, observing his boyfriend. Misha sighed and turned his laptop off. ”It’s still very fresh between us, It’s not that long ago that you could hardly stand me.”
”I didn’t know you then, not like now…” Misha said looking at him. ”But I can understand your worry and I don’t mean to pressure you, I’m sorry if its seemed that way.” For a moment the blond stared out of the window thinking quietly.
”If you have me, I would gladly move here though”, Joni said then, wanting to break the silence that had settled in the room. Again Misha turned his face to him. ”I like Ivo and Jami seems nice as well. It could work and it could be fun, for awhile at least. There’s plenty of room here and even one extra bedroom if one of us loses their nerve and wants alone time.” Misha sighed again and got up approaching the bed where Joni sat.
”Are you sure?” He asked. ”I mean that you want this?”
”Yeah,” Joni nodded. ”I think it would be perfect chance for us to see how it is like to live together, if we can live together. There’s no risk, no stress, if it doesn’t work no one loses anything.”
”So you don’t trust us?” Misha asked but smiled just the same.
”It’s not that, you know that,” Joni said tilting his head and taking Misha’s hand in his. ”What would we lose if we try this?”
”Nothing, I suppose,” Misha said then looking at their joined hands. ”Just… can we deal with them being so…well, you know…”
Joni chuckled at this, grinned for a moment and leaned closer to kiss the blond. ”Can they deal with us?” He asked with a whisper. ”I already feel so much better, Misha… Lets do this, lets try it? We can always later find a place of our own. Here I feel safe…”
Misha brushed Joni’s hair tenderly. ”Okay and when will we tell your father?”
”Can we wait till the weekend?” Joni asked.
”Sure, of course…” Misha smiled and stole another kiss. ”And when will we tell Ivo and Jami?”
”Tonight? They’ll be here later, I already talked about this with Jami.” Joni grinned.
”Oh you sneaky little brat…” Misha grinned back and gently knocked him over on the bed to kiss him more deeply. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad? He just had to make surte they would have plenty of earplugs, just in case.
A/N: Please review , either on shout box or the questbook where the review link leads to 🙂
Web published: April 8th, 2012.
My Secret Shore