Love and broken hearts

A/N: This is a story that I starter writing between writing Silent and other darker story. This has a much lighter approach, though I just couldn’t hold back from adding angst to it, that’s just the way I write best, I think. Anyway this is the story where I invented Joni’s and Misha’s characters (Foolish games) BUT these stories do not connect to each other in any other way and the characters have been altered and developed slightly different than these two here.

Chapter 1.

Summer 2006


I hate big super markets; I hate them!

I kept walking forward on the chilly corridors of the store, all the while looking around myself; hoping to see a white knitted shirt and brown, sexy, messed up hair…where the hell had he gotten to already?

A couple of older women were walking slowly ahead of me, side by side, pushing their shopping carts in front of them, so that no one could possibly move past them on the corridor. They were talking about some man named Matias, and his bad case of gout. The other one then told her friend about her bad hip and the fear of having a cancer; the doctors didn’t do anything about it, thought that she was just overly paranoid; the nerve of them! She said.

‘My god; can you walk any slower!?’ I thought to myself. Though I might have screamed that one out loud because they turned their heads and looked at me in a disapproving manner. Well at least they let me pass them! I heard how they discussed the state of today’s youth; always so selfish and rude. Well, if they didn’t always stand in our way, then just maybe we wouldn’t have to be rude! Have they ever thought of that? If anyone here was selfish, then I think it was those grannies with hip problems and not I.

I continued my search. Why did these stores have to be so god damn big? Why, God, why??

Finally I found him. Jesse stood in the toy section and studied some teddy bear in his hand. I wondered if he hadn’t gotten enough toys as children to play with, since he now seemed to be so interested in them.

“Did you find the cheese?” He asked, smiling once he saw me.

“Well yeah, I found your fucking cheese; here. But is it so god damn difficult for you to stay where I leave you? Do you know how annoying it is to search for you, when those fucking one foot in a grave people decide to have their little ’let’s compare whose life is the most fucked up’ conversations?” I snapped and tossed the cheese that had caused so much trouble already into the cart.

Jesse looked at me rolling his eyes and sighed.

“I know that you do not like going to grocery stores, but please can you stop all that swearing. It sounds so childish,” Jesse scolded me. I looked at him and the teddy in his hands.

“Says the guy who’s looking to buy a teddy for himself?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Your sister’s birthday is coming up,” he told me, looking at my face with a somewhat amused expression.
“Oh yeah…” I muttered. I had forgotten all about Sini’s birthday to be honest and once again Jesse would save my neck. The teddy was placed among the rest of the stuff and we continued our shopping trip from hell.

I stayed behind Jesse, just so that I could look at the swing of his perfect ass as he walked in front of me.

Jesse turned to look at me; his deep blue eyes had the smile that had appeared on his lips. He was just so beautiful, there was no way getting past that. I wondered if I could find some secluded corner to take him to and…hm…the changing cabinets?

“I think we got everything already, except the drinks.” Jesse said then, interrupting my wildly running thoughts.

“Oh yes, the drinks then…” I muttered, sounding a bit absent minded and once again my eyes met with his butt. Damn I felt horny. Luckily it wasn’t a horribly long trip to the cabin from here.


“There’s a mighty fine forest over there,” I said after we had driven for about 20 minutes. Jesse chuckled and shook his head. Is he laughing at me?!

“There are forests everywhere. So what, dare I even ask, makes this one finer than the others we have driven by already?” he asked, looking at me with a curious expression.

“Well, uh, the shape of the trees, the way the light of the sun moves through them and… And there seems to be plenty of moss; so I bet the ground is really soft in some places.” I gave him a smile. “We could stop at the next resting area and go explore the nature for a bit; you know…” A man has always got to try. Jesse turned his head towards the window, but I could see that he’s smiling. I seem to amuse him to no end!

“We’re going to a cabin, Joni. I’m happy with the nature that we’ll find there, so there’s really no need to stop now.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’ll go to explore the nature with me once we reach the cabin?” I asked, my tone full of hope.

“Just drive the car, hon,” he said, smiling and I let out a deep, depressed sigh.


Finally we reached the cabin and from the look of the other cars the others had already arrived.

Jesse smiled when he saw his friend Kim, who smiled back at him in an insanely happy manner. He did try to hold himself down, but I saw how he burned with the urge to feel my boyfriend up. He waved at us and came to help us with our luggage and the groceries.

At first they hugged though, and I felt sick just looking at it. I can’t understand how Jesse can even touch him, since Kim was so over weight. It was disgusting.

Kim’s cheeks went red as he looked at Jesse as they laughed about some joke of theirs even as they carried the stuff into the cabin.
I grabbed our bags and followed them inside. At the door I ran into Marko and he grinned at me. His green blue eyes sparkled and his blond hair framed his handsome face.
“Hi Joni.”

“Hi Marko,” I said, smiling at the slightly shorter guy. We looked at each other for a moment longer. Marko looked god damn gorgeous and I was still feeling as horny as ever. I remembered clearly how his lips had felt around my hardening member. I also remembered the contour of his well shaped body in a dimly lighted room. He held my gaze, smiling still, touching me furtively as he walked past me. I followed him with my eyes as he walked towards the dock. He turned around, smiled seductively and then continued on. He remembered too; our secret night.

’Maybe if Jesse decides to hold back sex from me again, I can perhaps convince Marko to some action?’ I couldn’t help but to smile at the thought. I certainly wouldn’t mind having him again.

I found my boyfriend inside, in the kitchen where he was kneeling in front of the fridge, placing our groceries inside. Kim leaned against the counter, staring at his ass, which is such a sexy ass that even I couldn’t blame that pervert from looking at it. I wanted Jesse, I wanted Marko. To put it simply; I wanted sex. Jesse or Marko; the two hottest guy at the cabin, either one of them worked quite well with me. Jesse just didn’t have to know that. I didn’t want to cheat on him again. I knew that if he were to know, then I would loose him and you didn’t want to lose a guy like Jesse. So from now on I would only try and concentrate on getting into the pants of my own boyfriend.

Jesse stood up and I walked behind him, wrapping my arms around him I kissed his perfect neck. I didn’t really bother to care about the fact that the perverted Kim was still watching.

“Honey, let’s go upstairs?” I whispered still placing gentle kisses on the side of his neck. He turned his face to look at me, kissed my lips, before pulling away from my embrace.
“But just this morning we…” He started, glanced at Kim and then, slightly insecurely back at me.
“…This is kind of a bad moment. We just got here. I’ll think about it later, alright?” He said then and walked away. I sighed with frustration. Somebody please fuck with me now! Not Kim though…

Didn’t Jesse realize how his constant rejection affected me? Kim looked a bit too pleased of Jesse’s refusal, like he was proud of him or something. His eyes met with mine and I glared at him angrily. He blushed, stuttered something and left to go outside. Jesse had also disappeared into the living room, where I found him talking with Sami. I definitely needed a cold bath…

Later that night, we sat outside. We had all been drinking, some quite heavily, some less.

Jesse was talking with Kim and ignoring me! I guess he knew what I wanted and wasn’t in the mood; how typical. It was frustrating to be the one in the relationship who wanted more sex than the other. Jesse had once told me that no one was as horny as I was. It was true that I wanted sex daily or better yet, two or tree times a day, but Jesse simply couldn’t keep up with my appetite – a pity really. I think there’s nothing strange in wanting sex so often; I’m a healthy young man at the age of 22, of course I want sex. I mean, who doesn’t?!

My eyes wandered off to where Marko sat just as he looked back at me and smiled. I became mesmerized by his movements. How he licked his lips, how he looked at me, pure want in his eyes and finally he stood up. He walked towards me, stopped just as he was about to pass me.

“I’m going to the sauna. Meet me there in five minutes if you’re interested,” I heard him whisper, even though he wasn’t looking in my direction. He continued walking. His boyfriend was too drunk to even notice his boy-toy’s sudden absence.

My palms sweating, my heart racing, racing with the desire…the need to go and follow him grew stronger which each passing second. Five minutes he had said to me. I needed to get laid and I couldn’t really think clearly. But remembering my earlier promise to myself I found myself lowering my hand down on Jesse’s thigh. One last try; a Finnish man is always persistent.

Jesse looked at me and I also gained the attention of his chubby friend.
“What is it now?” The question was asked in an almost bored tone.
“Honey, let’s go inside?” I carefully suggested
“Not now, I thought I told you this already?” He snapped coldly, turning his attention back to his whale of a friend.
“Well I ain’t going to force you!” I felt angry and rejected and…well, even my persistence has its limits.

‘What the fuck was this? He’d rather talk with that ugly beast than have wonderful, mind blowing sex with his gorgeous boyfriend?!’ I thought as I made my way to the sauna building. ‘Well fine, that’s just fine! Have it his way then. He could only blame himself for this! He practically threw me into the arms of another guy. Yes, Jesse is the one to be blamed. Not I, never I.’

I opened the door and slipped into the dim room where I found him already waiting. He had already lost his shirt and was now leaning against the wall, smiling with the promise of what I knew he could offer. He reached out to take my hand.

“I knew you’d come,” He whispered and I allowed him to pull me closer. My lips met his in a slow kiss that would only be the start to something much more. I breathed in his lovely scent, caressing his cheeks with my lips.

I felt his hands behind my back, sneaking their way under my shirt, urging me closer.
“Take this off….” He huskily whispered pulling my shirt up and I allowed him to remove it. It was carelessly tossed somewhere onto the cold concrete floor.

Our kisses turned needier, hungrier for more, and all sense of reality flew out the window, all thoughts of tomorrow. His eyes darkened from lust, to the point where they were almost dark green.
“What about Pete?” I panted, my erection already throbbing and as soon as the question had made itself known from my lips, I found myself regretting it. He did not need a reminder of his boyfriend, or man-friend more like it.

“What about Jesse?” he asked, grinning slightly, opening his red and swollen lips and licking them.

“Jesse who?” I asked, losing myself into the kiss once more. Hands seemed to be everywhere, moaning, breathing, clothes undressed, sounds of intense kissing. I tugged his jeans down and he kicked them all the way off. I practically tore his boxers off, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Oh gods, Joni, take me, take me now…” he moaned and it was surely all that I could take, I turned him around, his face meeting with the wall. I spat on my hand, brought it between his buttocks and forced my finger inside him. I felt him going tense and waited before I could feel him relaxing again. “I want you inside me…” he whispered looking at me from over his shoulder.

He didn’t have to ask me twice! I looked around, realizing I’d need something to work as a lube…Perfect! There was a bottle of body lotion on a near by bench, it would do well. I took some on my palm, rubbing it on myself and on him.
“This might hurt,” I whispered to his ear, before I penetrated him having to use some strength. He yelped and I quickly brought my hand to cover his mouth so that the others wouldn’t hear us. Soon enough, Marko started to relax again. He started mimicking my movements, pushing his butt more firmly against me, taking my cock even deeper inside of himself.

“What a horny little slut you are…Does it feel good? I bet it does… I bet you’ve been dreaming about this for so long; dreamed of having my cock buried deep inside your tight ass… Dreamed that I’d fuck you so hard, just like this…” I thrust in and out, faster and faster, listening to his quiet moans of pleasure that brought me even closer to my peak.

I brought my hand down on his cock, stroking it as I kept fucking him. It was hard to stay quiet at a moment like this but I didn’t want anyone to surprise us.

“Oh gods, I’m coming soon,” he finally whispered and I felt his inner muscles contracting around my swollen organ. I heard him panting, at that moment I shot my own seed inside him.

Still resting against him, my forehead against his sweaty shoulder. Trying to catch our own breath.
“That was wonderful…” He whispered.
“Yes, it was…” I admitted. And suddenly the door opened; almost giving me a heart attack. I pulled out of him and tried to pull my pants back up. I looked at the doorway and saw Kim standing there with a shocked expression on his face.

“Joni? Marko? You’re cheating on Jesse?” He stuttered and looked at us, his face twisting from disgust. Marko looked as shocked as I was, or maybe even more. He tried desperately to cover himself up. Suddenly I felt calmer as I zipped my pants up and approached Kim, who instantly backed away.

“Oh Kim, you saw nothing here, nothing that would concern you,” I spoke calmly, all the while looking at him.
“Don’t even think about telling Pete about this!” Marko hissed from behind me as he was putting his clothes back on.
“They need to know. Jesse needs to know and Pete,” he said, his bottom lip trembling pitifully and his muddy brown eyes looking at me with as much defiance as he could manage to find within him
“No, they do not. Tell them and you’ll only break their hearts. Is that what you want? To break Jesse’s heart? To see him cry?” I asked.

“No, you cheated on him. It is you who will break his heart! You do not deserve Jesse and you…” He looked at Marko. “You do not deserve Pete.” His round face was filled with anger. ‘Oh, but this was just too easy,’ I thought. I knew guys like him and I knew what strings to pull.

“Well go on; tell them then. But do you really think that they would believe you? They would see you for who you are; a desperate fat guy, who in his jealousy tries to make up stupid stories. I know you like him, I know how you watch him, and I know all the disgusting fantasies you have of Jesse. He is an impossible dream to you; he would never think of you that way. In fact; he would get sick from the mere thought of your hands on him. Trust me, Kim,” I smiled with satisfaction as I saw him starting to cry before he rushed out.

I turned to look at Marko.
“Do you think that he’ll tell them?” He asked with worry.
“No, he won’t have the guts to tell them,” I assured him with a smile, before picking my shirt up from the floor and put it on. Jesse loved me; he wouldn’t believe Kim, no matter how good friends they were. ‘I can be more convincing,’ I thought, and prayed to God that I would be right. I really didn’t want to lose him; I loved him, Jesse, I did. I just needed more sex than he could give me.

Chapter 2.

I sit on the ground, looking up to the sky, playing with the moist grass under my fingers. It’s already past midnight, but it’s not even dark yet. The sky is almost purple; coloured by the last light of the sun, the sun that would soon after rise back up, never really setting; June has always been my favourite month for this reason.

I still can’t quite believe what I saw; Joni and Marko… But on the other hand, it makes perfect sense.

I’ve never really liked Joni, and I know just how much that guy loathes me; the disgust in his eyes has always been clear whenever he looks in my direction. And Joni is right; I have feelings for Jesse, I’ve had feelings for him from the first day that I ever laid my eyes on him. But I can’t understand how Joni could cheat on Jesse. Why would anyone go to another, when they already have such perfection at their side?

Finally I decide to return to the cabin, hoping that the others are already sleeping. I have no wish to meet with Joni or Marko again. I walk towards the front door, heading to the warm bed that will be waiting, but feeling sure that I won’t get any sleep this night.

Walking past the lake, I hear something and stop, looking between the cabin and the lake. Knowing I wouldn’t sleep, the choice is easy and so I decide to walk closer to see what caused the noise I heard, well, not really a noise; sounds of the water splashing really. I see him there; Jesse. The warm purple light caresses his beautiful face and figure. Jesse splashes some water on his face, then leans back, wetting his hair, unaware of his secret admirer. Watching him makes my legs feel like jelly; I have to take some support from the birch trunk beside me.

Jesse’s hands move on his naked upper body, his eyes close, breathing in the fresh air of the restful summer night.
I can see the smile that plays on his lips; he is looking at the sky now. To me, it is like watching some perfect piece of art, something not quite from this world. He looks like an angel, an angel that has come down from heaven to play in the silent and warm night, enjoying the beauty of the earth. Jesse is beautiful; outside as well as in. How could Joni cheat on him? I’ll never know.

If the impossible would happen, if Jesse were mine, I would always cherish him, treat him like the treasure that he truly is. But Joni is right; he is just an impossible dream. How could an ugly thing like myself ever touch a beauty like Jesse?

In my dreams Jesse wants me, but it will always be just that; a dream. I’m a friend, never a lover. Losing weight, I have tried, I’ve tried desperately and then grew tired, my family never gives me enough support to succeed, or perhaps that’s just an excuse that I give to myself?

Most of my life is spent in dreams of what will never truly happen; dreaming that one day, I could become to look as handsome as Joni is, dreaming that Jesse would see me, see me really for the first time and that he would tell me that he loved me, that he always has. But reality is never as kind as it is in dreams, I know that it isn’t, I’ve learned that a long time ago.

Finally Jesse turns around, sensing the eyes on him, he smiles to me, making my heart beat wildly in my chest.
“Where were you Kim? I was beginning to worry about you.” He asks looking at me with curiosity. ’Joni cheats on you, he cheats, but I love you Jesse.’ My heart is screaming, but I fail to voice my thoughts, remembering the cold words of Joni.

“I went for a walk.” I tell him instead and walk closer to the shore. “You’re up late, thought you would be sleeping already. Isn’t the water freezing this late at night?” I ask then.

“Well you know me; it’s such a beautiful night and I would hate missing it completely by sleeping through it. And the water really isn’t that cold, come and try it yourself.” Jesse grins.

“Well, I don’t know…” I hesitate. “I think I’ll pass.” I tell him then, I really don’t want Jesse to see me dressed in swimming trunks, I’m too ashamed of my body.

I watch how Jesse swims for a while and then slowly returns towards the shore. “Would you hand me my towel, it’s over there, on that rock.” Jesse asks smiling at me. I realize that he is stark naked and I turn my eyes away, blushing. I fear that if I were to look, I won’t be able to help the urge to touch. I give him the towel.
“One could think that you’ve never seen another man naked before.” Jesse grins, drying himself up.
“I’ve never seen you.” I could almost hit myself for saying it out loud. When he smiles, I curse myself for blushing again.

“Well, it might be better that you didn’t see all of me; the cold water doesn’t always flatter some parts of the male body, as I think you know.” Jesse laughs softly.

”Will you stay up with me? We could make a fire to the grill and cook something? Or are you feeling tired already?” Jesse asks, dressing his clothes back on.

“No, I’m not tired at all.” I answer, perhaps a little too quickly. Could I be any more transparent? At times I want to touch Jesse so much that I think I could die. ’An impossible dream, Jesse is just an impossible dream.’ I remind myself when I notice that my mind had once again wandered off to thinking what it would be like to kiss him, to make love to him. I want him and I don’t know how to stop wanting.

I sit in front of the fire; Jesse hands me a beer can and sits next to me. I look at him secretly as he’s gazing up to the sky.
“It’s just so beautiful.” He sighs, his voice almost a whisper. For a moment he stares into the flames, silently before he turns his face to me and he smiles; gentle, soothing. My heart is still pounding furiously as I look at him, in this light, in this night, he’s even more beautiful; the warm light of the fire dancing on his face, shining in his eyes. “I wish that the summer would never end.” He says as he looks around.

“Yes… Although I don’t think that the winter would be so bad in the end, if only you had someone to keep you warm.” Did I just say that out loud? ’Desperate… disgusting… ugly fat…’ My own pitiful ego started whispering inside my head.

“How’s your love life by the way, have you met anyone interesting?” Jesse asks

“I have feelings for this one guy, but I could never have him.” I answer with a quiet voice.

”Why? You never know unless you try.” He encourages and nudges playfully at my side.

“I just know that it wouldn’t work, he’s way off my team. He is beautiful, thin and as for myself… Well, I am what I am; an overweight pig.” I tell him, staring at the beer can in my hand.

“Kim… You shouldn’t think so little of yourself. You’re really not that bad to look at… And I’m not just saying this because I’ve been drinking, or because I’m your friend.” He touches my cheek and suddenly I fear to breathe. “You’re a pretty cute guy Kim, so you’re slightly overweight, but what of that? You’re one of the sweetest guys I know and I think that whoever you end up with in the end, will be lucky to have you.” He smiles and removes his hand, immediately leaving me to miss the warmth of his touch. ’Why are you tormenting me so? Why do you touch and smile the way you do? If you knew, if I told you now, would you still remember what you just said, or would you run away?’ I look into his blue eyes, wanting to kiss him, wanting it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life… But Jesse fails to see it; can he not read it in my eyes?

”So how’s things with you and Joni?” I ask finally, my voice almost sticking to my throat. Jesse is silent for a while looking at me and then towards the fire.
“We’re doing fine, Joni is… He’s perfect, I love him.” He answers and there’s that smile again, this time it only annoys me though, knowing who it’s for. I would like to grasp his shoulders and shake him to reality. ’Joni is not perfect, Jesse, he does not deserve you!’ My heart screams, but still I stay silent. I swallow the disappointment, I swallow the hurt. How could I tell him and watch his heart break before my very eyes? But how can I not tell him and watch from the side as Joni would hold him in his arms, whispering new sweet lies to his ear?

“At times though…” Jesse starts carefully. I look at him in confusion, with hope. “This is probably just silly…” Jesse shakes his head and sighs. “He wants it, like, all the time, or that’s what it feels like to me, it’s… I just can’t keep up with him, nothing seems to be enough… at times it can be pretty pressing. I want to be a good boyfriend, but I just, I feel like I can never be enough…” Jesse admits. He lifts the beer can up to his lips and drinks.
“It’s not stupid Jesse; I understand completely what you’re saying.” I whisper, I must fight with myself; should I tell him or not?

Chapter 3.

Kim’s POV:

”I think that I’ll go to sleep after I’ve taken a shower, it’s getting so late.” Jesse says after we have eaten. He yawns and stretches his arms. I look at him, smiling wistfully. I don’t like the thought of Jesse sleeping in his arms, in fact; I do not like the idea of Joni touching him at all, and can anyone blame me for that? I wish that I could take him to my bed; I wish that I could have his warm body close to mine and wake up to his gentle kisses.

Jesse starts dousing the already smouldering fire. I still haven’t told him, it just feels so hard to say those words, to speak them out loud. I don’t know what to do. What if he would get angry at me for telling? And what if…?

“Are you coming in?” Jesse asks looking at me.

“I’ll stay here for a moment.” I tell him. Jesse nods his head and smiles.

“Good night Kim, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night Jesse.” I answer and I look after him longingly. I still don’t know what to do…



I’m the first to wake up. I stretch my arms, yawn and turn to lie on my side. I look at Jesse, who is sleeping next to me; the warm light of the morning sun caresses his face and his naked back. He looks so fucking hot right now and looking at him makes me horny again, my cock stands hard against my belly, gods I want to fuck him.

I touch his naked back gently; his back is the prettiest I’ve ever seen. I run my fingers down his spine, moving lower and lower; down on his buttocks that are covered only by the thin cover. I love the fact that he likes to sleep nude. My fingers meet with the firm satin like skin, I can’t help but to squeeze. Jesse awakes from his dream and looks at me, his blue eyes only half way open. His hair is all mixed up; so sexy. I lean in to kiss him as I move my hand on his buttocks; I stroke the skin between them with my fingers.

“I’m tired…” Jesse murmurs, looking at me. He can barely keep his eyes open. I wonder how long he stayed up last night. Kim has kept his mouth shut; lucky for him. Jesse wouldn’t be sleeping next to me if he had told him what he saw.

I snuggle close to him, so that he can feel my erection against his side. I kiss his neck, his earlobe. I know how much he likes it when I kiss and suck his earlobes, so I continue it.

“You’re not tired baby; I know you want to…” I whisper and start rocking my hips against him like a horny dog. I press his lower back with my hand when he tries to change his position and finally I move on top of him. I kiss his neck again, still moving my hips against him. “Are you clean?” I ask with a whisper.

“Yes, but Joni, I really am tired… I was up so late last night with Kim. I need to get more sleep.” Jesse says, he tries to move from under me, but I manage to hold him down. Damn perverted Kim, devil may take him if he dares to ruin this.

I’m sucking his earlobe again; I’m so fucking hard that it’s almost painful. Need to get some ass right now. My ex complained to me once that I was some kind of sex addict, but hey; I’m just a man who enjoys sex; very, very much. I think that it’s totally normal. It’s good to have a steady boyfriend because then there’s always sex available. Well, there are times when they decide to hold back the sex, but I’ve noted, that often all that you need to do is to be persistent, wear them out to the point where they think it’s easier to just give in and if that doesn’t work, you’ll just have to go and get it from someone else. It really isn’t that bad I think, well it kind of is, but you know; what they don’t know can’t really hurt them. I’m sure that my secret is safe, Kim won’t tell, I’m sure that he won’t.

I move down on his body, kissing his buttocks, I massage them with my hands, squeezing, I can’t help but to bite. I love Jesse’s ass, well okay, I also love Marko’s ass. I love bums! I take the lube from under the bed; always be prepared. I force Jesse’s legs to part and again press him back down from his lower back.

“Joni, I… I’m really tired.” He whispers, but doesn’t really say no or ask me to stop so I continue. I’m getting there, he is doubtful, but I know that soon he is quiet and surrenders. Well, he won’t stay quiet for long though, I’m going to make him scream my name, I’m going to make him moan so that every one will hear, especially that Kim will hear. I’m evil, I know, but someone has to bring that chubby back to earth.

I lick his hole for a while and then take some lube on my fingers and push them in. Gods he’s tight, he feels even tighter than Marko did, and that boy has a tight ass as well. Damn I’m hard. Jesse tries to move again, feeling my fingers inside, trying to get away, but never telling me to stop and if he really didn’t want me to continue, I know he’d say it.

I can’t wait anymore, I massage some lube on my organ, taking my place between his legs, keeping him down from his shoulder, with my other hand I place my cock against his entrance. I start trusting inside; damn it feels good, I gasp. Jesse tries to stay silent, his head is turned to the side, his eyes close and he’s nipping his bottom lip. “Lift your hips up for me baby.” I moan and Jesse does what I’ve asked. I wrap my arm around his waist.

“You’re so tight and warm, you look so fucking hot laying there, under me, my dick inside your ass, doesn’t it feel good?” I whisper to his ear starting to move inside him. I bring my hand on his cock and find that it’s hard too. I stroke him, grinning with satisfaction. I listen to the moans that he’s making. I warm up even more, I keep ramming into him using more speed. There’s a loud slapping sound as my balls keep hitting his butt cheeks. I move my both hands to his hips. ”Say my name!” Jesse doesn’t do it straight away. ”Say my name baby, scream for me.” I insist.

“Jonii!…” I smile wildly. I start fucking him like an animal; don’t even try to keep it quiet. Finally I reach my climax, filling him with my sperm. I lay down on top of him, catching my breath.

“Fuck that was great, felt really good baby.” I whisper, kiss his neck, and stand up. Jesse turns to lie on his back, he looks at me as I start putting my clothes on. “I really need a shower now; you can continue your sleep honey.” I smile and give him some handkerchiefs; in case he wants to clean himself up a bit.

“At times I feel like you’re just using me, that all you really care about is your own pleasure, that as long as you get what you want; you’re happy.” He says quietly, looking a bit hurt. Oh great, now he starts acting like some woman? Fucking hell…

“What do you mean baby? Of course I care, I care about you.” I tell him in a gentle voice and walk closer, I kneel in front of the bed, he turns to lie on his side. I brush the hair from his forehead; place a kiss on his cheek.

“Then show me that you care, listen to what I want for a change.” He whispers, I don’t like the sadness that I see in his eyes.

”Jesse, I love you, I hope you know that? Next time we’ll do just what you want, okay? I’ll give you a whole body massage, how does that sound?” I smile at him and Jesse smiles back, he kisses me.

”It sounds great and I love you too.” He whispers then.

I stand up, look gently at him.
“Sleep well my love.” I blow him a kiss, which he grasps from the air and places it on his lips. I leave the room, closing the door softly behind me.

I run into Pete as I am walking towards the shower.

“Sounds like someone had a good wakening.” He says, winking at me.
“Jealous? Tell me if you need tips from the master.” I laugh playfully. Poor Pete; he could actually use them, after all his boyfriend is like all over me. But who could blame him; I’m pretty darn hot, if I dare say so myself. I look at myself from the bathroom mirror, running my fingers through my black hair. I smile to my reflection, satisfied with what I see. I start undressing and after I’m done, I take a long, hot shower.

Chapter 4.


Damn my ass is sore; it’s the first thought on my mind when I finally decide to get up from bed. I wrap a towel around my waist and seek some clean clothes to wear. I’m in need of a warm shower.

Pete walks in my direction and looks at me with a stupid grin on his face.
“Slept well darling?” He asks. For some reason he’s obsessed with calling me darling. I wonder how his boyfriend would like that.
“Mmh…” Is my only reply, before I hurry past him towards the bathroom.

“I made you some breakfast bunny.” Joni tells me with a sweet voice when I walk into the kitchen, after my shower. He pulls me close and kisses my neck. I wonder what got into him? And bunny? He’s never used that one before. I look at him in a confused manner as Joni guides me to sit in front of the table.

Kim walks into the room and glances at me in a funny way, he doesn’t even return the smile I give him or answer when I wish him good morning. I start to worry; have I said or done something last night to make him upset with me? I guess this is why you should never drink alcohol…

”Do you not like it? You should eat it now bunny, I made it just for you.” Joni asks with a pout on his face. What in the world is this sudden bunny thing? I look at the plate in front of me: cheese and tomato omelette, toast and some fresh strawberries and fruits. I taste the omelette.
“It’s really good, thank you honey.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and a smile. He isn’t the type of a guy who does things like this very often, but when he does, he does a great job with it. It makes me appreciate him even more.


Everyone is looking at me, at us, a bit oddly today. They keep grinning at us and making stupid jokes. One could think that they’ve never heard anyone having sex before. One could think that they’re just a bunch of teenagers, rather than adults.

”What’s up wild cat?” Sami asks with a sly smile, when I walk towards the shore. I roll my eyes, pretend that I haven’t heard him.

I sit on the pier and soak my legs in the cool water. I close my eyes; enjoying the warmth of the summer sun.

Marko’s sudden laughter disturbs my relaxing moment; the dock is swaying with his footsteps.
“Had a good session this morning, now did you? It sure was loud to say the least.” He laughs, his cool hand touching my neck, I have no idea why. I shrink back and turn to look at him from over my shoulder.
“It was mind blowing, like always.” I tell him.

Marko stretches his arms, walks to the end of the pier and then poses like some runway model. I gaze towards the cabin; Joni, Pete, Sami and Tuomas sit on the terrace, Riku is trying to light the fire in the grill, but fails as he becomes too concentrated on staring Marko’s butt. They all look at him, as he keeps showing himself off; clearly enjoying the attention that he is getting. To my annoyance, I can see that Joni is watching him as well and I can see, even from this far distance, that there’s more in that look than just innocent curiosity.

Marko looks at me, grins and starts undressing his shorts, revealing the rest of his perfect body.

Marko kind of reminds me of Paris Hilton, from the ’simple life’ tv show, you know? He is like the male Paris Hilton; a blond, who doesn’t have much going inside that pretty head of his. He flirts with like everyone and I’m pretty sure that he cheats on Pete whenever he gets a chance to do so.

I take another look at Pete, who is staring at his boyfriend from where he’s sitting. Pete is the oldest in our group; he’s thirty, already loosing his hair and gaining a bit of a beer belly; not someone that you would look at twice if you’d pass him by on the street. Marko is my age; which is 19. We’re the youngest ones here, we went to the same junior high school, but we were never really friends.

The reasons of why Marko is with Pete; a) Pete is rich, b) Pete owns this luxury cabin and a big seaside house in Helsinki and c) Pete is rich. So, as you might have already noted; a) and c) are indeed the same thing and that b) is kind of the same thing too. And as for the reasons that Pete is with Marko? A) Marko is good looking, b) Marko is a blonde, who has a great body and c) Marko is a young, good looking blonde, who isn’t spoiled with much sense. And again you probably noticed that a, b and c are in fact the same thing.

Marko jumps into the water, disappearing under the surface.
“Come and swim with me Jesse.” He says as he appears back up, he swims close to me and starts pulling my leg.
“Stop it.” I snap at him. I’m really not interested in joining his stupid games.

He forces my legs apart and comes standing between them, keeping his hands on my knees.
“What do you want?”
“Don’t always be such a tight ass Jesse.” He whispers, his hands moving up my thighs, until he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to the edge, closer to his stomach. A moment of confusion takes over me, as I feel Marko’s hot breath on my skin. He looks up; the beautiful green blue eyes of his sparkling, his blond hair wet, lips slightly parting. He grins, looks towards the cabin and then slowly back at me.

I turn my head towards the cabin as well, only to notice that everyone is watching us. Joni looks slightly odd, Pete looks interested.

”You’re in need of a bath.” Marko whispers suddenly and with one quick movement he pulls me under the water with him.

“You’re such an arsehole!” I scream as I pull back to the surface. I try to get back to the shore, but Marko wraps his arms around me and pulls me deeper with him.

Marko laughs as I keep squirming and for awhile we wrestle in the cool water. The fact that he’s completely nude suddenly dawns on me completely, as I feel it against my back. Now is it just me, or is he getting slightly turned on by this? “Damn it Marko, grow up will you!” I snap at him as I finally manage to get free of his hold. I walk quickly towards the cabin.

”Bunny, what’s wrong?” Joni asks with a babbling voice, when I walk past him.
“A bunny is up your arse!” I snap and close the front door with a loud bang, after I’ve gotten in. I’m not exactly sure why I’m acting the way that I do and dimly I realize that I’m acting like some woman during her period, but I don’t care. I can have a tantrum if I feel like it; damn it!

After I’ve changed my clothes, I walk back into the kitchen and find Kim sitting there, in front of the table. He stares at the half full glass of orange juice in front of him, looking thoughtful. I sit opposite from him.
“Kim, is everything alright?” I ask carefully. He glances at me and then back at his hands. “Have I done something wrong?” I ask when I get no reply. Kim takes a deep breath.
“Why do you let him use you?” He asks, looking at me.
“Excuse me?”
“Just yesterday, you were complaining about how it makes you feel so uneasy, when Joni is always all over you. Then this morning; you’re moaning like some slut in heat, so that every one of us can hear how he fucks you. Do you not have any pride what so ever?”

I look at him with shock written all over my face. Never did I imagine that I would hear something like that from his lips.
“A slut? Is that what you think of me? Joni is my boyfriend and of course I want to have sex with him. I thought you were my friend and not someone to judge me.” I stand up, looking at him with disappointment and hurt.

Kim stands up after me, takes a hold of my arm. I look at him, waiting. His eyes are glimmering with tears and I can’t understand what’s going on.
“Jesse, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I just…” He starts, swallowing nervously, his eyes meet with mine. ”It doesn’t mean that when you’re with someone, that you should just surrender to them even though you wouldn’t want it.” He tells me. I’m more than surprised now, he really thinks that… Oh, he thinks that Joni is forcing me in some way? His worry is both touching and amusing at the same time.

”Don’t worry Kim; I have not done anything that I wouldn’t have wanted. Forget about what I said, I was drunk and I… just forget it. Everything is alright, I wanted it, and I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t.” I assure him. Kim looks like he wants to say something else; he is already opening his mouth, but clearly hesitates.

”I really am sorry Jesse, about what I said. It was stupid.” He says finally.
“It’s alright, really; it is.” I assure and place my hand on his shoulder. Kim looks at my hand and then at me in a funny way.

”Jesse, we need more beer and more food to grill. Since you’re the only one with a driving licence who hasn’t had any alcohol yet, would you mind driving to the store?” Riku, who has just walked into the kitchen, asks.
“Yes sure, no problem.” I answer. I think I can use one moment alone right now, since everyone has been acting so weird today and since I still find myself feeling a bit jealous of the way that Joni looked at Marko.

I’m just starting up the car when the passenger side door opens and who else, but my favourite blonde; Marko jumps in next to me. “What is it now?” I ask.
“I’m coming with you.” He tells me sweetly and smiles.
“I don’t want you with me.”
“Too bad, because I’m coming anyway. Unless you want to buy the things I need for me, I could write a list for you, but it would take some time.” He smiles again. I sigh; I do not have the energy to fight with him about this now.
”Well okay, but keep your mouth shut, I’m not in the mood to talk.” I tell him and turn on the radio.
“You really should try to relax a bit Jesse, one could think that you haven’t gotten any in ages; that it would be the reason of why you’re so tense all the time, but on the other hand; we all heard what happened this morning. So just take that stick out of your arse.” Marko grins.
“Take that dildo out of yours.” I snap and Marko only laughs. God this will be a long shopping trip; trapped with the male Paris Hilton… Lord help me…

Chapter 5.

Marko turns the music on louder and starts singing along. I glance at him quickly; his eyes are closed and he is swinging to the beat of the music.

“Did I not ask you to be quiet?” I ask finally and try to move my thoughts away from his beautiful singing voice. Marko stops, looks at me; blinking his big eyes and then he smiles, looking disturbingly innocent.

“I thought you said that you weren’t in the mood to talk, I didn’t realize that singing was also forbidden.” He answers turning his head slightly to the side.

“Well it is, I asked you to keep quiet.” I answer; I don’t know why I’m being so rude to him.

“Someone definitely has a hat on too tight today.” He sighs and turns the music down a bit, staying quiet himself. After awhile I look at him again, he is still swinging with the music, his lips are moving but no sound comes out. A smile appears on my lips; it’s amazing that something goes through even the thick head of Mr. Paris Hilton.

Finally we reach the nearest market. I drive to the parking lot and park the car. Marko jumps out and starts hopping towards the entrance; I mean literately hopping.

“Baby come on!” He calls me. I would like for the ground to swallow me at this point. Three guys that are leaning against the wall of the store are looking at us in a bad way. I wonder briefly if Marko is trying to get us both killed by acting so gay. I hurry after him to the store; I don’t want to stay and find out.

That guy must have a screw loose somewhere, I think to myself as I watch Marko jumping around happily in the store like some kid on Christmas morning.

“Jesse, Jesse come and take a look; there’s some funny looking thing over here, I wonder what it is? What do you do with this? …Oh there, my favourite! Must have! Delicacy pudding! Do you want some? I wonder if the others like them…” He thinks to himself and apparently decides to take enough for everyone; just in case. He brings the puddings into the shopping cart. I wonder; what belly does he eat those with??

“Pete doesn’t like me eating treats too much. He says that if I get fat; he’ll dump me, but my metabolism has always been fast and well, I don’t really eat sweets that much, but I like these delicacy puddings.” He explains to me. Oh, isn’t he cute. I smile. Wait; hold back there for a moment, I did not just think that Mr. Paris Hilton is cute?!

The three men from earlier are standing behind us in the queue to the counter. Marko looks at them, sucking on his bottom lip, a thoughtful expression on his face. Finally he leans in closer to me.
“What do you think Jesse, have those guys ever heard of a thing like shower? They smell bad, they smell like cows.” He whispers.
“Shh…we talk in the car.” I tell him, I’m afraid that those guys might hear us and kick our arses once we get outside. They don’t look at all friendly and Marko is right about their smell. I carefully sniff my nose at it.

I place the groceries in the trunk. Marko is already sitting in the car, he didn’t even offer to help, I even had to carry most of the shopping packs by myself. Well, it would be a great tragedy indeed, if Marko happened to break a nail or something. I’ve come back to my senses; Marko is not cute, he is not sweet, he is just an annoying blonde with air placing the space where you should find the brains.

“Where are you ladies going?” I hear a voice from behind me, –great, it’s those three big, cow smelling jerks from earlier. I walk over to the driver’s side of the car and open the door. I decide not to answer. Personally; I don’t see any ladies at present. I look at Marko, who seems to be checking out his nails at the moment. Well okay, I see one who is a bit questionable. “Hey, we’re talking to you!” One of them yells. Still, I see no reason to answer. I sit in the car and close the door after me. I start the car and drive off the parking place.

I soon notice that those jerks are following us with their car, the traffic is slow and they are practically right behind our rear. I soon become a nervous wreck. Marko places a cd into the player, and soon a man’s voice starts singing in Russian. My palms are sweating; I gaze through the rear-view mirror.

“Russians are so hot; don’t you think that Russians are hot Jesse?” Marko asks.

“What?” I have a hard time concentrating, other than the fact that those guys are probably trying to get us off the road. “I like Russians…” Marko continues. Is he like completely oblivious of what’s happening here?!

“Dammit.” I curse, I don’t usually curse, but I think that it’s allowed in a situation like this. Marko looks at me and then to the back window, then back to stare at the road ahead of us.

“You missed our intersection.” He points out calmly. I sigh fretfully; I’m not good in a situation like this. I haven’t even had my license that long, I’m beginning to panic; big time. We are going to get killed, aren’t we? And my last moments are spent with this blonde with air in his head while this Russian guy is singing his heart out…

“Calm down Jesse, we’re going to make it. I’ve never heard you cursing before.” Marko smiles, how on earth can he be so calm?

“You do realize that those guys are trying to force us off the road?” I snap at him. Once again he looks out from the back window.

“They must be pretty horny, for trying to get some ass from two gay guys.” He says and continues. “How typical; long enough time spent without the warmth of a woman and then they’re not so straight after all.” He sighs. I look at him quickly and then back at the road ahead of us.

“Marko, I’m pretty sure that this is not about that, this is about those guys hating gay people and therefore they want to beat us up, or kill us, or something!”

“Oh, you’re still so sweet and innocent, that it’s almost touching really.” Marko smiles. I decide not to even try and understand his logic anymore, until he decides to explain it. ”One of the guys pinched my arse in the queue and whispered something that I’m sure you don’t want to hear right now… I didn’t take him for real though, I guess I should have.”

“Fuck, what should I do? Where should I drive.” I ask him. I don’t know this area well.
“Just calm down. Turn left here.” Marko advises me and still I find it amazing how calm he is. I listen to the advise and turn to a narrow sand road.
“I’m not so sure about this.” I tell him as I keep driving and notice that we are still being followed and now we are in some secluded forest road, with no witnesses.

“Trust me Jesse, I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to us.” Marko tries to calm me. “Turn right and soon after that turn left.” He continues.

A small lakeside cabin comes to my vision.
“Drive to the yard of that cabin.” Marko tells me.

An old lady, who was squatting on the ground, implanting some flowers, stands up and looks at us with surprise on her face as we get out of the car. Our followers have parked their car a little further away.

Marko is smiling wildly, he walks over to the woman and gives her a hug.
“I’m so happy to see you; it’s been such a long time!” He shrieks. The woman hugs him back.
“Well it sure is.” She says then, looks at me and then back at Marko. She seems a bit confused. I hear as the car starts and drives off. I sigh with relieve; at least we got rid of them.

“Heikki, come and see who’s here.”

“What are you going on about Irmeli?” An old man steps out of the cabin onto the terrace. He looks at Marko and then at me.

“Uncle Heikki! I’m so happy to see you!” Marko smiles and rushes over to hug the man. “I know, I’ve grown so much, the last time we met, I was like this.” He lifts his hand to his hip to demonstrate.
“Yes, you sure have grown boy.” The man notes and looks at his wife. “Don’t you think so too Irmeli?”

“Yes indeed he has. What a handsome young man you’ve become, you and your friend.”

“Well would you boys like some coffee?” The woman asks.

“Yes, we would love some!” Marko smiles.

We move inside, the woman is offering some buns and cookies for us. Marko chats with them in a happy and carefree manner. I’m eating my cookie and I look at them wondering why Marko didn’t tell us that he had relatives around here.

“Well, we should go now. We bought some milk from the store and it turns sour if it stays in the warmth too long.” Marko says finally and stands up. I stand up after him.

“It was nice that you could visit. I hope that you’ll visit us more often from now on.” Irmeli says and gives Marko a hug.

“Of course. Have a nice weekend, I’ll call you!” Marko promises with a smile and hugs her back, he then gives a hug to the man as well. Who seems a bit surprised by this, I guess he’s not a hugger type, but at least he doesn’t complain.


“So who were they?” I ask when we are driving back to Pete’s cabin.

“Heikki and Irmeli.” Marko says simply.

“No, I mean, were they like your relatives or?”

“No, they were Heikki and Irmeli, I’ve never even met them before!” Marko starts to laugh. I look at him in confusion.

“So what you are saying, is that we just sat there having coffee with complete strangers?”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet new people, don’t you agree? I told you not to worry.” He smiles brightly. I am amazed. Suddenly Marko seems a lot more interesting than he did before; suddenly it seems that he does have a brain after all.

When we reach the cabin we are both laughing our arses off. We’ve been wondering what the couple may have been thinking after we left and if they ever even noticed that they didn’t even know either of us from before.


Finally I hear as the car drives down to the driveway. I was beginning to get worried. I know that Jesse isn’t a big fan of Marko and I don’t think that Marko is that crazy about Jesse either. After all Jesse is my boyfriend and Marko might be little jealous of that.

I walk outside, my intention is to pull my baby into my arms and kiss him senseless. I stop in my tracks as I see the two of them. Marko and Jesse are joking and laughing together? Okay what’s this then?

To see your boyfriend and the guy with whom you cheated on him laughing together as if they were the best of friends, isn’t something that you want to see. It’s wrong on so many different levels. I liked it more when they were wrestling in the water together, that was hot, but this? This I don’t like.

I hear as someone steps next to me and I turn my head to see who it is; Kim. He looks at me and then at Jesse and Marko with a sneer on his face. I guess he can see just how little I like the new turn of things.

“Interesting, wouldn’t you agree?” He whispers with a mean voice, a voice that I didn’t know he had in him. He leaves before I have the time to reply.

“What took you so long hon?” I ask when following Jesse into the kitchen. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. Marko is un-packing the groceries, he glances at me briefly and then continues what he’s doing.

“Well, when we left the store, there were these cow-smelling jerks that followed us with their car. I thought they were going to kill us…” Jesse laughs looking at Marko, who is now looking back at him. “I drove by our intersection by mistake, but then Marko helped me and we ended up having coffee with this old couple. Marko acted as though he knew them, when he really didn’t!” Jesse explains to me enthusiastically and then they both laugh. Okay…I missed the joke in this completely…

“So let me get this right; some men were chasing you when you left the store and you ended up having coffee with some people you didn’t know?” I really am trying to get the funny thing that apparently lies here somewhere.

“Yes, that’s right! Heikki and Irmeli!” They both started to laugh again.

“Okay…” I look at them and roll my eyes; this really is kind of scary…

Chapters 6-10



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