Silent 21-25

Chapter 21.

“Samuel, I`m so pleased that you both came!” Mrs Grey shouted happily and hurried to meet them by the car. She took her son into a warm embrace and then turned her attention to Michael.

“You must be Michael, welcome!” She smiled and hugged him as well.

“Now, let me look at you. My, my aren`t you beautiful, very handsome.” She spoke, her hands were on his shoulders as she was checking out his face and his figure. Michael looked at Sam, who stood beside him, with confusion and he seemed to be slightly embarrassed.

“Nice to meet you Mrs Grey.” He said and Sam thought that he looked absolutely adorable.

“Mom, stop harassing my boyfriend, lets go inside already?” Sam laughed softly

Michael was about to take their bags from the trunk, when an older, grey haired man, dressed in a black suit came beside him. “Sir, allow me.” He said and smiled to him. Michael looked over at Sam with surprise. `Did that man just call me sir?` He wondered.

“Come on Michael, Albert will take care of our stuff, thank you Albert.” Sam reached to take his hand in his and smiled to the older man in a friendly manner. Sam leaded him into the large villa, which looked more like a manor to Michael.

He looked in awe around himself in the hall, he felt so small and somehow out of place.

“Albert is our butler.” Sam told him and Michael just stared at him, moth open, eyes wide. He had known that Sam was from a slightly wealthier family, but this, this was so much more than he had ever imagined, and to think that they called this place their villa? Michael wondered how big house they had in London. `And Albert? Why do the butlers always have a name like Alfred or Albert or…or…` He thought and at the same time, felt even more nervous. More people came to greet them.

“Well son, finally settled down now have you? It`s about time I think. I`m so happy to see you both.” Sam`s father said, hugged his son and then Michael. Michael smiled to him, his heart was racing fast and he felt so insecure inside. He would have wanted to nestle against Sam and squeeze his hand tightly.

“Hello, I`m Samuel`s big sister Lisa, nice to meet you.” The woman with long, blond hair said and shook his hand, she was about thirty, Michael guessed.

“Hello, Michael Harris, nice to meet you too.” Somehow he managed to keep the nervousness away from his voice. Sam took his hand and Michael felt slightly relieved.

“You must be tired after the trip, I made your room ready so you can rest before the dinner. It`s the second door, on the left, upstairs. The dinner is served at seven.” Mrs Grey told them with a smile on her lips.

“You seem nervous, are you alright?” Sam asked once they had gotten to their room. Michael sat on the bed and looked at him.

“I can`t hide anything from you, can I?” Michael smiled slightly and followed him with his eyes as Sam sat down next to him. “I`m glad that you can`t.” Sam smiled and continued. “Try to relax my love, you don`t have to be scared of them. I could see that they all liked you.” Sam placed his hand on his thigh.

“I`m scared of what your parents think of me. I`m nothing special, just senior high school drop out, a waiter and you and them…” Michael looked down.

“It dosn`t matter, it`s just material. The money or the status dosn`t make a person, it`s what`s in here and in here that counts.” Sam had placed his hand on his head and on his heart. “I know that it sounds like such a big cliché, but it`s true.” He laughed softly.

“Alright, I`ll try to relax.” Michael sighted smiling and then kissed Sam.

“What should I wear?” Michael asked once he had gotten up from the bed and was about to go to the shower.

“I pick some clothes out for you, while you`re showering. And please don`t worry dear, they are alright, there are no stuck-up rich people here.” Sam grinned.

“By the way Sam…um…What do your parents know about me?”

“They know that you`re a waiter, that you`re from England, that you`re the love of my life, perfect mix of English, Irish and Spanish….I told them about Jean, but not the whole story, don`t worry.” Sam smiled.

“The love of your life?” Michael asked smiling happily. “Yes, of course you are.” Michael walked back to him and kissed him. “I love you so much Samuel!” He said. Sam slapped his bottom and smiled.

“Now, into the shower, I think I`m coming with you, because you`re just too damn cute to shower by yourself…” Michael looked at him, raising his eyebrow, questionable smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, I know that it dosn`t make any sense, but who cares.” Sam grinned.


They sat in the dinning room. Sam kept his hand on his thigh and stroked it gently and soothingly.

“What do your parents do for living?” Mrs Grey asked smiling, from the other side of the table and lifted her wine glass up to her lips.

“My mom is a Spanish teacher and my father is an architect…I haven`t seen them in a long time though.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No, I mean…um…My mother would have wanted more children, but…” He hesitated, before continuing.“…But after me, when she was pregnant with my sister…well, the birth was very difficult and it started prematurely…the baby died later that same day that she was born and my mom wasn`t able to have any more children after that.” Michael told them, he was spinning his food on his plate in a nervous manner. `No one wants to hear about you death baby sister at dinner, you ass…That was soo stupid, you are an idiot Michael.` He thought to himself.

He remembered the time, how disappointed he had been when he had heard that the baby sister that his mother had been carrying, hadn`t made it. He had wanted to be an elder brother so badly. He remembered his mother and how sad she had been, he remembered it all so clearly, even though he had only been five years old when it had happened. It still bothered him at times. He often wondered, how she would have been like, how would she have looked like and…He remembered the tiny, little coffin, that held the tiny little baby girl`s corpse inside, the tombstone that read; *Angelia Estella Wills* B:10.3.1985 D:10.3.1985 It had looked so sad and lonely. “She is our angel now, she is our star.” His mother had whispered to him at the funeral and held his hand in hers. Michael believed that he would have never left his home, if his sister had been a life.

“I`m really sad to hear that.” Mrs Grey said, you could see and hear the true sympathy in her eyes and from her voice. Sam squeezed his hand. Michael had never told him about this before and he wondered what else was there that he didn`t know yet.

Later the conversation turned to happier things. Michael was finally able to relax.

“Now I know, why you can`t cook.” He whispered to Sam in one point of the splendid dinner, Sam smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. Everything was so great. Sam`s mother; Ella and Lisa told him funny story`s from the time that Sam had been a child. Every one was laughing to these, leaving poor Sam quite embarrassed. He was pleading for them to stop telling these story`s to Michael, but his mother just shushed him and she even showed baby pictures of him to Michael, once they had moved to sit in the living room.-

“I think you have been such a cutie and you still are.” Michael whispered to him, looking at his boyfriend blushed face. He cave him a kiss on the cheek. Michael realized just how much he missed his own family, while sitting there joking and having fun with Sam`s family. Maybe he really should give them a call sometime? And if they would not want anything to do with him, well, at least he would know and he could then try to let it go…


Later that evening, they went for a walk on the beach with Sam. It was dark already, but you could see the bright stars and the moon. It was a peaceful night.

“It`s so beautiful out here.” Michael said as they were walking bare feet`s on the sand, along the shoreline.

“Yes it is, lets go swimming?” Sam suggested.

“Swimming? Um…now? It`s dark already and besides we don`t have our swimming trunks with us, or any towels for that matter.” Michael pointed out looking at him.

“Who needs them? Come on, lets go!” Sam took his hand and started to drag him towards the watter.

“Sam, no! Our clothes will get wet!” Michael screamed laughing and tried to squirm his way out of Sam`s hold.

“Come on, it will be fun!” Sam lifted him up to his arms, after all he was taller and stronger than his boyfriend, so it wasn`t that hard.

“Sam! Let me down now!” Michael screamed, but still with laughter.

“You want me to put you down, do you? Alright then.” Sam grinned and walked a little bit deeper. Michael looked horrified as he realized what Sam was planning to do.

“Oh, you wouldn`t!” He said. Sam grinned again and dropped him down in the watter that reached almost to Sam`s waist. “Ups.” He said.

“Oh, your going to pay for that, you got my hair wet! *sniff*” Michael said with a fake feminine like voice and pretended to be very hurt. Sam tried to get away from him, but wasn`t fast enough. Michael knocked him down in the watter with him.

“Hahaa, the revenge is sweet as well as it is wet…” Michael grinned.

“Hm…so it seems, I`m not complaining though…” Sam mumbled and pulled him into a kiss. They came back to the shore, laid down on the sand. Sam was on top of Michael, kissing him. Neither of them cared about the fact that they both were wet, nor that the sand clutched on to their clothes and hair. The kiss drowned everything else from around them.

“Sam..I think we should…oh god..mmmh…someone might come here…” Michael whispered between the kisses, which started to get a little too heated up, considering the place that they were at.

“Mmmh…” Sam mumbled, lifting his head up slightly.

“Maybe we should…” A kiss.”…go back…” Another kiss.”…to our room.” Sam grinned. Then he heard voices coming closer and closer to them. Sam looked to the direction of the voices. “Hmmm…the angry French arrive…” Sam said quietly. “Wait a minute…they look familiar…oh bullocks…” Sam said suddenly.

“What?” Michael asked in confusion as Sam rose up. Michael rose too and looked to the direction that Sam was looking, his face paled. “What?…How?…Why are the here, how are they here?” Michael sighted his breathing tensed, his heart was racing. He wiped the sand away from his still wet clothes. Sam stepped in front of him in a protective manner.

“Oh how sweet, a little love scene on the beach.” Jean snarled coming closer to them. Jean had his friends; Louis and Felipe with him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?! Are you following us? Stalking Michael, Jean? You are asking for troubles! You leave him alone and if you ever come near him again, I swear that I`ll hurt you!” Sam roared, squeezing his hands into a fists. Jean laughed.

”Uh, I`m so scared. Very convincing Sam, I must say.” Jean sneered, looking at them both from head to toe; they both had wet hair and their wet clothes clutched onto their skin, showing of perfectly, their slim and fit figures.

“Sam, lets just go, don`t waste your energy on them.” Michael whispered, touching his arm gently. Sam nodded and they turned to leave.

“The whore needs your energy in something else. Tell me Samuel, have you enjoyed him? Have you enjoyed this whore that you stole from me?” Jean asked. “What did you say?!” Sam shouted turning around to face that dick head.

“Jean, maybe we should just go?” Felipe asked his friend, looking a bit uncomfortable about this situation that was going on. Jean ignored him.

“You heard me Sam…Michael, you look really good, healed yourself already, have you? I was a little rough, now wasn`t I? Maybe you would need some more?” Jean said and tried to get closer to Michael.

“I have had enough! I warned you, you god damn piece of shit!” Sam screamed and before anyone had time to react he swung his fist straight in Jean`s face. Jean cried out, lifted his hand under his bleeding nose and looked at Sam with cold, hateful glare. “You`ll be sorry for that Sam! And by my god will you be sorry, you both will!” Jean roared. Michael looked at him with wide eyes and scared and then he looked at Sam who was shaking from mere furry. He grasped Sam`s arm.

“Lets go Sam, please, lets just go.” He asked. Sam barely nodded and he looked at Jean once more. Jean`s friends had came to help him.

“Lets go Jean.” They said to him and pulled their bleeding friend with them.

“I`m so mad to him! So mad, he has no right! That fucking son of a bitch!” Sam raged in their room. After they both had taken a shower and changed their clothes. Michael sat on the bed feeling upset. He really hadn`t expected to see Jean there, on the other side of France.

“Michael, honey, are you alright?” Sam asked then and knelled in front of him, kissing his palms.

“I…I`m fine…I..oh god…How could he find me here? I don`t understand…The same town? the same beach?” Michael wondered staring at the wall in front of him.

“Jean is obviously following you, I don`t know where he found out that we would be here, but I don`t believe that it was a coincidence…I must say that I`m worried…What if we would inform the police about this? And try to get a restraining order for him?”

“Sam, there is no proof that he`s a threat to me and I don`t think that the police would believe us.” Michael sighted. Sam was quiet, Michael might be right, but surely there was something that they could do?

“Sam, just forget it…Lets just forget them, okay?…I…Everything will be alright, he just teases us, scares us, trying to make our life difficult, but we can`t let him get to us.” Michael tried to comfort him and make him relax, but in the end he didn`t believe his own words. `Everything will not be okay.` His mind kept telling him. He was just so happy with Sam now, how long would it take, until it was taken away from him again? He wanted to clung into it with his teeth and nails, enjoy every minute and every second with Sam. Those moments could disappear so fast; that was the lesson he had learn from life so far. Sam sat beside him on the bed and Michael took him to his embrace, he kissed his lips long.

“I love you Sam, what ever may come, I`ll always love you, don`t you ever forget that.” He whispered quietly.

Chapter 22.

Friday, 5th of September

His working day had gone fine up until that point. He had still two hours of the work day left, when he saw Jean and Patrick walk into the restaurant. Michael froze, his hands began to shake and his heart beading wildly in his chest. He really didn`t want to see the two of them, especially in his workplace. They both looked straight at him, as they sat down. Michael paled, there was no way in hell that he would serve anything to them. He turned around and walked towards the office.

He knocked the door.

“Come in.” The voice answered.

”Mrs. Gladstone…I`m sorry to interrupt, but I…” Michael started and looked at the elder woman, who sat in front of her desk.

“What`s the matter dear? You look so pale.” She asked.

“Well, I…I don`t feel so good, could I leave home earlier today?” He asked carefully.

“Well, Laura and Aramis are working too and the day has been quiet, but has something happened that you`re not telling me dear?”

“My ex-boyfriend and his friend came here and I`m sorry but I can`t wait on them. I know that they only came here to make me feel uncomfortable.”

“Is this the same man who assaulted you?”

“Yes.” Michael admitted quietly.

“We do have the right to choose our customers, and I most certainly will not tolerate such people here, that are harassing my employees.” Muriel said with embhatic voice and continued.

“Have the rest of the day off and you do not have to worry that they would come here again. I`ll see to that.” Muriel rose up from her desk and Michael looked at her with gratitude.

“Thank you Mrs. Gladstone.”

“Just call me Muriel, dear. You`re one of my best waiters, customers love you and it`s very important to me that you`ll have your work peace. So, where do these two sit?”


Michael arrived home, it had been so much fun to watch how Jean and Patrick had been trowed out. The look on their faces; it had been priceless. Michael grinned to the memory in his head. He decided to take a long, hot bath. He was still feeling tense and slightly distressed, he wondered would Jean ever leave him alone or how long would he plan to bother him?

The previous day he had searched his parents phone number. They still lived at the same place and he hadn`t slept much the whole night, he had wondered how it would feel like to return home again. What would he say on the phone and how would they react? He kept thinking of it, but he was just so afraid to take that step. What if they would hate him? Despise him? And they would never want to hear from him again? He didn`t know would he be able to handle it. Michael sighted and rose up from the bath.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and came into the kitchen. He was just pouring himself a glass of wine, when the doorbell rang. He startled a bit, wishing that Sam would be home with him, what if it would be Jean?

He came to the door and looked through the peephole. He smiled and opened the door.

“Kitty, hey!”

“Hey…” Kitty greeted, looking at him from head to toe. She felt like she was blushing. Michael suddenly came very aware of the fact that he was only wearing the towel and nothing else.

“I`m sorry Kitty, I just came out of bath and I wasn`t expecting any guests. Please do come in.”

“It`s quite alright, I should be the one to apologize for staring.” Kitty smiled and closed the door after her.

“I was just about to take some wine, there`s an open bottle if you`d like some? I`ll go and dress.” Michael walked to the bedroom and Kitty just couldn`t draw her eyes away from him.

“Thanks” She said then and went into the kitchen to pour a glass fo herself.

She came back to the living room and sat on the couch that had a little too good view to the bedroom. She could see Michael through the mirror, dressing. She knew that she should look away, but the little curious devil in her head made her look, yes that was it, she was made to do so. `Oh god, I`m turning into some weird pervert, like those old man, who check teen-aged girls up, in the swimming halls.` Kitty thought horrified.

“Sam isn`t home yet, if your looking for him, but I expect him home soon.” Michael shouted from the bedroom as he was pulling some jeans on.

“Well, actually I came here to talk to you. I didn`t know if you were home or not, but I happened to be around in this neighborhood and decided to try my luck.” Kitty explained and tasted her wine.

“Oh? What is it that you wanted to talk about?” Michael asked and came to the living room, pulling a red tank top on. `Oh my dear God, he looks soo good.` Kitty thought to herself.

“I began this Salsa dancing class with Angela, and Sam once told me that you know how to dance that. I thought that if you could teach me a little? I feel so clumsy and awkward around the others.”

“When have you started this class?” Michael asked and went to get his wine glass from the kitchen.

“Couple of months ago. I just don`t get this shaking your hips stuff, I`m so horrible in it.”

“Well, of course I can teach you, but it has been six years since the last time I have been in a lesson.”

“But you have danced after that.”

“Yes, well,when I get the chance to do so.” Michael admitted smiling. He tasted his wine. “When do you want me to teach you?”

”Now? If you have the time?” Kitty blushed and wondered why she felt herself like a 16-years old school girl.

“Lets put some music on first.” He said, and went to look something decent from the cd-shelf. Soon the Spanish music started to play. Michael drank his wine glass empty. “I need some encouragement.” He laughed. ”Alright then.” He walked over to Kitty, who rose up from the couch. “The hips are very important here.” He smiled, and placed his hands on each side of her pelvis. “Try to keep your upper body still and move only your hips. Tighten your stomach.” Michael guided her with his hands at first. “There you go, see, you can move your hips.” He laughed softly and winked his eye to her. “Try move it forward and then back, still not with your upper body only with your hips…You can tell me if my teaching is absolutely unnecessary and rubbish?” Michael asked, and looked at her.

“No, not at all, thank you for doing this.”

“Lets try together then, shall we? Just look at what I`m doing and copy my movements and listen to the music, the rhythm.” He placed Kitty`s hand on his shoulder and her other hand in his. His own free hand went to Kitty`s waist. “I move forward, you take a step back and well, you get the picture. And all the time, listen to the music.” Kitty`s heart was beading fast, she felt herself so clumsy. “It`s okay, no one can master this straight away.” Michael said smiling, after she had stepped on his foot, after so many times.

`Oh, god, this dance is like having sex…’ Kitty thought and licked her lips.

“Now, I`m going to bent you down, don`t worry, I`m not letting go.” Kitty could only nod her head, she didn`t worry, his arms were around her solidly. Michael`s face so close to her, lips only couple of inches away from hers. She looked into his eyes, beautiful brown eyes. Michael pulled her back up.

“Then you swing around and come back to me.” Michael straightened his arm and then pulled her back to him so that her back was against his front. Michael moved his hips and guided Kitty`s hips to move too. “You`re dancing really well Kitty.” He whispered with a soft voice. Kitty found it hard to talk, she realized that she was enjoying this dance with him way too much.

Sam came home, he had heard the music outside. He took his jacket off and came to the living room, watching Kitty and Michael dancing for awhile. He noticed the expression on Kitty`s face and guessed what was going on inside her mind. He knew his friend well. He shook his head and smiled. “

Kitty, are you trying to seduce my boyfriend?” He asked with laughter. Only then they both noticed him. Kitty`s face turned red.

“Hello darling, I was teaching Kitty to dance.” Michael said with a smile, and went to turn the music down. He really was clueless of Kitty`s small enchantment on him.

“Yes Sam, you see, I have that salsa class with Angela and I thought that if…”

“Right, the salsa class.” Sam said raising one of his eyebrow. Michael came to him and cave him a kiss.

“How was your day?” Michael asked.

“It was fine…I thought that since we all have the weekend off, we could go out tonight?” Sam suggested.

“It`s okay with me.” Michael answered.

“And you Kitty?” Sam asked grinning.

“Sure, it would be fun.”

“Sam…You don`t mind that we danced, do you?” Kitty asked, once she and Sam had gotten into the kitchen to get some drinks.

“Of course I don`t Kitty, as long as you don`t turn into a hot male, I don`t think I need to worry, even if you do fancy him.” Sam laughed and ran his hand in Kitty`s hair.

“Sam, I don`t…” Kitty started.

”Haha, don`t you even try to deny it Kitty. I saw the way you were looking at him; like he was some delicious piece of meat. I can understand though, he`s gorgeous.” Sam smiled and took one beer from the fridge. Kitty poured more wine for her and Michael . “How`s that bartender? Things haven`t progressed with him?” Sam asked.

“Well, we have flirted and…He finally asked me out to dinner with him!” Kitty smiled.

“Thats great! Well, good luck! It would be about time, for you to start dating again and perhaps settle down?” Sam laughed. “My, my, you have changed Samuel, now that you`re in a relationship yourself.” Kitty smiled and shook her head.

They came to the gay-club. Some of their other friends were there too, including Erick and Paul.

“Hello Michael, haven`t seen you in a while. How`s things going?” Erick asked once they had sat down.

“Fine, and you?”

“Alright, same old, same old.” Erick grinned and wrapped his arm around his lover.

“Have you heard anything from Jean?” Erick asked carefully.

“Well, today he came to my work with Patrick, but they were kicked out.” Michael grinned to this, but then his expression turned more serious.

“And a month ago, when we were at Nice with Sam, Jean was there with Louis and Felipe. I don`t understand how they could have find us there…”

“Be careful Michael, he seems really odd, promise me to be careful and do not see him even if he begs you.” Erick asked him. “Don`t worry, I have no intention of seeing that bastard ever again.”

“Kitty, lets take a tequila race?” Michael asked, wanting just to forget about Jean.

“Tequila race?”

“Yes, which one of us can drink more shots?”

“Um, alright.” Kitty answered hesitating.

“I go and get them!” Michael told her happily and rose up.

”Oh Kitty, I wonder what you said yes to…I Probably end up carrying the both of you home.” Sam sighted and smiled to her.

“Alright, here it is; salt, some lemon and tequila! At the same time Kitty; One, two, three, and go!” They spilled the salt on their palms, licked it and drank the tequila shot, after that they bite the lemon piece. They took another almost straight away and then the third.

“I don`t feel a bloody thing yet!” Kitty screamed and laughed and was about to take her forth with Michael, until Sam stopped them.

“Now, I may sound like some crazy person to you, but what if you both would just wait a little while before drinking any more?” He suggested.

“You`re crazy Sam, but alright! Lets go dancing babe! Then we shall drink some more, right Kitty?” Michael said eagerly and stood up pulling Sam with him

“Sure thing!” Kitty screamed as her friends were heading onto the dance floor.

Kitty looked at them, when they were dancing and it looked so sexy; two beautiful, young man, dancing closely, looking at each others with love and lust. It looked so fascinating to Kitty, it excited her. `I`m a straight woman and I get turned on by this? Oh, god I`m messed up, aren`t I? I have been without a man way too long, get a hold of yourself Kitty!` She thought silently.

Suddenly she was not feeling all that well.

“Hey…um…I think I need to go home…” She spluttered and stood up, her legs were shaking and her head was spinning. `Damn, deceitful tequila.` She thought.

“You`re not leaving alone, not in that condition, it`s not save. I`ll see you home safely with Paul.” Erick said and took her hand. “Paul dear, would you go and tell Sam and Michael that we are leaving?” Kitty felt relieved, she knew that it would be a risk to walk home by herself, she would be in no condition to defend herself if needed. With Erick and paul she would be save. “Thank you Erick, thank you Paul…I`m so sorry.” She managed to say and she looked once more to the dance floor. Sam looked back at her with worry, but he smiled when he saw that his friend was helped by Erick.

“Poor Kitty, the tequila must have really got to her.” Sam whispered to Michael. He grinned and then continued.

“How are you holding up love?” Michael laughed.

“I`m just fine, just a wee bit drunk, but I`ll manage.”

”A wee bit drunk?”

“Well, the wee part is a proportional thing…but as I said I`ll manage, I still hear the voice of sense, well, I almost hear it…” Michael whispered.

“When I was younger, me and my friend Tony had tequila races.” Michael explained.

“Really, how old were you?”

“Well the first time was at sixteen.”

“Where the hell did you get the booze?”

“Tony`s elder brother…we stole…” Michael grinned.

“…And I always won.” “Didn`t he ever noticed?”

“Yes, one time he found us in Tony`s room, drunk as a dogs, but he only said that the next time we would need something, we should come and ask him straight…Now, I know that had it been just Tony alone, there would have been a hell loose, but since I`m so charming…” Michael grinned. “…He was really nice about it.”

In the middle of their dance, Michael`s body tensed all of a sudden. He was trembling a bit.

“Michael, what`s wrong?”

“Jean…Patrick…They`re here.” Michael whispered.

“Oh, you got to be shitting me…” Sam sighed and looked over at the same direction that Michael did. He looked straight at Jean, who sneered at them. “Lets go?” Sam asked.

“We can`t let them scare us away from here, lets go back to our table.” Michael took Sam`s hand in his and they walked away from the dance floor.

Jean moved to sit closer to their table, keeping his eyes at Michael the whole time. He licked his lips in allusive manner, enjoying to see the self-conscious expression on Michael`s face. Michael squeezed Sam`s hand hard without realizing, it felt hard to breath.

“Hey, lets just go honey, you`re not feeling well here.” Sam said and rose up. Michael looked at him and then nodded. They said their goodbye`s to their friends and left. Michael looked back at his ex once more, seeing the smile of triumph on his face.

Michael was feeling much better once they had gotten outside. The air was fresh and slightly chill.

“I feel up to some snack, a hamburger!” He told happily.

“Well, we could go into a McDonald`s and after that home to bed.” Sam smiled.

“But I`m not tired, not at all…Lets go for a walk after that, please honey?”

“Well, if you like, it`s just that you drank so much today, I wonder will you manage to walk okay.” Sam grinned and held him close as they were walking.

“I can walk just fine, I`m not sleepy and I`m not that drunk.” Michael assured.

“Well, you are pretty drunk, trust me. But if you say that you can and that you want to, then I believe you.” Sam laughed.

“And you`re not drunk Sam?” Michael asked grinning.

“Well, I for one, didn`t drink three tequila shots one after another! You must be feeling great tomorrow.” Sam laughed.

“But I have been practicing!” Michael tried.

“Yes, when was the last time you drank like this? Six years ago?”

”Yes but, I was able to drink much more then and I was a lot younger and weaker.” Michael said, not mentioning how often those nights ended up in vomiting and how the next day, he had felt so ill that he couldn`t get up from bed all day.

“Alright, alright.” Sam smiled.

They came to the hamburger restaurant. Sam looked at Michael with a smile on his face, as Michael was eating.

“It feels odd to eat, when you`re staring at me like that, I feel stupid.” Michael said and grinned.

“I`m sorry, I can`t help myself. Alright I`ll try to look elsewhere.” Sam turned to look at the other side of the restaurant and his head was spinning all around the place, in every direction but to Michael`s. It made Michael laugh.

“I didn`t mean quite this either.” He said and Sam`s gaze returned to him.

“I can tell from your eyes how drunk you are, although I must admit, you do an excellent job in trying to speak normally.” Sam sneered. He took his hand in his and stroked the skin with his thumb.

“You have such a beautiful hands too, prettiest hands I`ve ever seen.” Sam said staring at them.

“Aw, and who was it that`s drunk again?” Michael laughed. “Alright lets go, I´m done.” He said then and jumped up from the table.

They walked along the side of the river; Seine, the night was really beautiful. They stopped to kiss. Few people, that passed by, looked at them in a depreciating manner. Sam looked back at them, almost as evilly, especially an elderly couple, who looked at them quite long shaking their heads.

“What are you looking at? Enjoying the show?!” Sam asked and the couple continued walking quickly past them. Michael laughed and pulled Sam into another kiss.

“We are shocking the old Parii…” He whispered.

“Do you care?”

”No, I only care about you.” Michael whispered.

“Oh God, how I love you.” Sam sighed. “I LOVE YOU MICHAEL HARRISH!” He screamed as loud as he could and kissed him with passion.

“You`re crazy, but I love you too Samuel Grey.” Michael said and squeezed Sam even closer to himself, the cold breeze of the beginning fall sweep past them. Michael opened his eyes and looked at the beautiful scenery around them. `Something is coming.` A distant voice in his mind told him, but he didn`t want to hear it, nor did he want to see what lied ahead, in the darkness, waiting, lurking. No, he only wanted to keep that happiness forever.

Chapter 23.

”When the darkness falls,
and I can not see you by my side,
when I`m in pain,
when all hope seems lost,
I remember you, I remember us,
and I shall not fear,
I shall not give in,
I shall not brake,
I`ll find the light,
I`ll find you once more,
and I`ll know that you`ll wait,
I`ll know that I have your love…”



After the club night, Michael had received one message from Jean, that said; “I`m sorry about everything that I have caused you. I know that I don`t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope that we could at least talk. I want to apologize to you in person. Please Michael, consider this, come by here to see me some evening, lets talk, just the two of us?” Michael had read his message, and it didn`t take him long to know what his answer would be. “I don`t know, how stupid you think I am, but that is what I indeed would be, if I would come to meet you by myself. I can never forget about what you did. I do not want to see you ever again. I hope that you understand this, and I hope you`ll get some help, because you`re obviously not well. Just leave us be Jean, that`s all that I`m asking of you.”

After that, they had not heard a word from Jean, or seen any sight of him, just as Michael had wished. They both felt extremely relieved. `Perhaps everything will be okay, after all?` Michael had thought when everything had seemed to be okay. The september passed by and they were more happier with Sam than ever. Whit each passing day they became even closer and they told each others everything. Sam was surprised, of how the love, that had been strong in the beginning seemed to grow even stronger with the time. Every time he thought that he could not possibly love him any more than he already did, he had to be surprised. They could lie in each others arms for hours; talking, making love, caressing. Everything was perfect, perhaps it had been a little too perfect?

10.2.2003

Michael came to the gym with Kitty, the same gym where Sam worked. They often trained there
together.

“How are things going with that Irish fellow?” Michael asked her with a grin on his face, as they were working out.

“Fine, he`s great and so funny! He comes with us tomorrow, when we go out, you meet with him then.” Kitty said and smiled. “That`s great Kitty, can`t wait to meet him.”

“Have you called your parents yet? You have talked about it for so long.” Kitty asked.

“No, not yet, but I`ll do it tomorrow I have decided…Oh god, I haven`t got a clue of what to say to them. I mean what do you say to you family after six years of missing? I guess I`ll think of something when I hear their voices, what do you think Kitty? Do you have any ideas?” Michael asked looking at her.

“I`m sure that you`ll find the right words, believe me.” Kitty said with an encouraging smile.

“Well, I hope so.”

After one and a half hours of training,they decided to leave home. Michael went to say his goodbye`s to Sam.

“Oh, I wish I could leave home with you guys, but no can do. I still have one spinning class to run and then some paper work to finish.” Sam sighted.

“Well, I see you when you get home love. I`ll make something good for supper, once you get home.” Michael smiled and cave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Alright, see you then, I`ll be home around 9.30pm.” Sam told him and smiled back.

“See you soon then, bye!”

Michael went to the locker room to shower and change his clothes. Then he came to the lobby where Kitty was waiting for him. “I can give you a lift home if you like?” Kitty said as they were walking out.

“I wouldn`t want to bother you all the time, with you having to drive me home. I can take the subway and walk from there, the fresh air would do me good. Thanks for the offer though.” Michael cave her a smile

. “Michael, honestly, it`s no big trouble, I like giving you a lift.” Kitty told him. Michael noticed the slight blush on her face. “Well, why don`t I come to your place and walk from there, I think it`s a shorter walk after all.” Michael suggested.

“Alright.” Kitty said and smiled. They walked over to the car.

“Would you want to come in for some tea or coffee?” Kitty asked, once they had arrived by her home.

“Maybe some other time. I don`t think I`m any good company right now, I`m so tired and besides I have to make some supper for Sam, poor little rich boy, can`t do it himself.” Michael said and grinned, he took his bag from the backseat of the car. Kitty laughed softly.

“Well, it`s a good thing that he has you. See you tomorrow!” Kitty smiled.

“Of course, tomorrow then. Bye!”

”Bye!”

Michael hadn`t walked for long when he started to feel as if, someone or something was following him, but he thought that it was just his over active imagination that had taken over him. But the feeling only grew, the longer he had walked. He looked around himself starting to feel scared, but he couldn`t see anyone in the darkness. When Michael turned to one more secluded alley, the one he had always been slightly afraid of, he realized that he was indeed being followed. The car drove behind him with low speed. He hurried his steps, not daring to look back. Some old childhood story returned to his mind; `The evil will get you, if you look back.` He thought and couldn`t shake that thought out.

“Hey Mike, going somewhere?” He almost froze as he heard that voice, that scaring and familiar voice, he didn`t want to believe his ears. His breathing became tense, his heart was beading wildly. `No, it can`t be, please don`t let it be him…` Michael turned to the voice, shaking from fear. The car had stopped, the headlights dazzled his eyes. The door opened slowly, then he saw Ricky. Michael sighted in despair, momentarily paralyzed from the fear. For a moment he couldn`t too anything but to stare at his sneering face, without the ability to move or speak.

“You thought that you could run from me forever, did you?” Ricky asked grinning with a devil like expression. The man took few steps towards him and it made him awake from his shock. `Run Michael, run.` The voice inside his mind told him. Michael tossed his bag on the ground, knowing that it would only slow him down, and then he started to run, as fast as he could.

He heard the running sound coming from behind him, he heard how the second door had opened and there was now a second man behind him as well. His muscles were tired, he was tired, but he had to run, he couldn`t let them catch him. Ricky, however, was too fast for him. He was right behind him; he gripped the back of his jacked, pulled him back and then he got him into a better hold. He was pulled against Ricky`s chest, the arm tightly around his waist, other hand went against his mouth, keeping him from screaming. Michael tried to squirm his way out, he tried to bite Ricky`s hand and to do anything and everything that would help him free. But the other man soon reached them and helped Ricky to keep his hold on him and drag him towards the car.

He was forced inside the dark delivery van. The other man; a big, bald man, with tattoos, held him down as Ricky gagged him with a scarf. Other scarf was wrapped around his eyes, so he could not see anything. The man who held him, was almost twice his size, and Michael couldn`t brake free no matter how much he tried. The scarf suppressed his screams into nothing more than mumbling. The back doors closed and the car started.

The man opened his jacked and moved his rough hand under his shirt, on his soft skin.

“Mmm…A handsome boy this one is.” The man hissed with a Yankee accent. His hand touched and searched his unwilling body.

“Indeed he is, a rare treat we have here.” Someone else laughed somewhere close. Michael tried to move, he was so scared, the hand continued to touch him in places that he had no right to touch, only Sam and himself had that right. Michael guessed that he was back there with these two and that Ricky was driving the car. The unknown man started to get a bit to excited, Michael could feel his growing erection and he whined quietly, still trying to move away from him with no succeed.

“Try to hold yourself down Dan, it`s not the time for that, not yet.” The other man said and laughed then. The car drive seemed like forever.

**************

Sam came home from work, he opened the door to his house and was surprised to meet with the darkness and the quietness. He searched the light switch and turned the lights on.

“Michael?” He called taking his coat off. There was no answer. He searched the dark apartment, turning more lights on, but there was no sign of his lover. The bad feeling and the scary thoughts started to fill his mind. He came back to the hall and saw that Michael`s coat was indeed missing. He took his cell phone and tried to call him. It rang like normally at first, but then turned to engaged. Sam tried to call the second time and this time the recorded voice said that they could not connect to the called number and he should check the number or try to call back later. Sam was feeling even more scared now.

“Where are you?” He wondered out loud.

He then called to Kitty.

”Hello.” She answered, with tired voice.

“Hey Kitty, is Michael there?” He asked.

“No, he went to your home.” Kitty answered, little surprised of why he should ask that.

“Well, I`m home now, but he`s not here. When did you see him last?” Sam asked with a nervous voice.

“We left the gym, drove here, I asked if he would want to come to my place for some tea, he said no, that he was feeling too tired and that he would go straight home to make you some supper.” Kitty told him.

“Why couldn`t you drive him here?!” Sam snapped.

“Because he wanted to walk!” Kitty snapped back, she didn`t like the accusing voice of Sam.

“I`m sorry Kitty, I`m just so worried, he should be home by now.” Sam sighted.

“I understand Sam, it`s alright. I`m sure that he`s okay, maybe he just stopped by some friend of his, Erick perhaps?” Kitty suggested, knowing how unlikely that was, she just didn`t want to believe that something bad would have happened.

“I hope so, I`ll call him. But the strange thing is, that I tried to call Michael just a moment ago, but it was cut off.”

“Maybe his battery ran out?” Kitty suggested.

“But he usually always tells me if he`s going somewhere, he knows that I`ll worry, why wouldn`t he tell me his where abouts now?”

“I don`t know Sam, it`s strange, I admit. Call me if you hear anything?” Kitty asked him, she was really starting to worry too. “I call you in the morning, good night.”

“Alright, good night.”

After he had finished the call, he tried Erick.

“Oui?” The man answered.

”Hey Erick, it`s Sam, have you heard anything from Michael?”

“No, I haven`t, how come you`re asking?”

“Well he left from the gym a couple of hours ago and he hasn`t come home yet. Kitty said that he was heading this way though.” Sam explained.

“And you have tried to call him?” Erick asked, with worry in his voice.

“Yes, but I couldn`t reach him.” Sam`s voice started to brake. “Oh god, something horrible must have happened…” Sam sighted.

“I must admit that this dosn`t sound good. Jean might have something to do with this, I call him and then back to you.”

When Jean didn`t answer Erick was beginning to feel convinced that it was indeed him, who had something to do with Michael`s disappearance. He drove to Jean`s apartment to check the situation there, but when he rang the doorbell, no one answered and the place seemed dark and quiet. Erick rang back to Sam.

“Jean isn`t home either and he wont answer to his phone, I think it`s time to inform the police about this. I came to pick you up, lets go to the police station together.”

They walked over to the officer on duty.

“We would like to report a missing person.” Erick told him, after seeing the absent, shocked expression on Sam`s face. “Name? Age? How long has he been missing?”

“Michael Harris, 23, about four hours.” Sam answered.

“That`s not a very long time…What is your connection to the missing person?” The slightly over weighted officer, who was around his forty`s, asked.

“He`s my boyfriend, we live together.” Sam answered and was waiting for the surprised expression that usually followed, this time however, no sign of such appeared on the mans face.

“This wouldn`t happen to be about some relationship argument, would it? In that case, you should just wait home, I`m sure that he comes back home, once he has calmed down.”

“No, that`s not what this is about. I know something bad has happened, he…” Sam started with a nervous and fierce voice. “Just calm down sir, and tell me what exactly has happened? In which circumstance did he leave? Why do you believe that your boyfriend is in danger?” The officer asked with a calm voice.

“He left from my work place about four hours ago, with our friend. I myself had still work to do and I stayed there. He told us that he was going straight home, because he was tired. He got a lift from my friend to her house and from there he started to walk home, which is about three and a half kilometers away, but he never got there. I arrived home at 9:35pm When I didn`t find him there, I tried to call him, but it was cut off before he even answered. After that I called my friend that had left with him and then to Michael`s friend Erick, meaning him.” Sam looked at Erick and then to the officer.

“Have you called to every friend of his and hospitals etc.?” The officer asked, writing things down.

“Yes, I have.” Sam told him.

“We have a reason to believe that Michael`s ex, would have something to do with this. He wasn`t home either when I checked. They broke up in bad terms, Jean was very jealous of Michael, and he acted violently towards him, when they were together.” Erick said then.

The officer looked up from his papers.

“Usually, when a grown up, in good physical health goes missing, we wait. It`s a very huge possibility that he just wants sometime in private and comes back after he has gotten that.” He said.

“You`re not listening! I know that he`s in danger, that fucking ex of his, has been stalking him and…He needs our help now!” Sam shouted in despair.

“Stalking did you say? What is this mans full name? This ex boyfriend?”

“Jean Parouxe” Erick answered.

“I need full description of the missing person, and his photograph.” Sam handed him the photograph he had taken with him from the apartment. It was taken a month before, Michael was sitting on the couch and smiling. Sam remembered the day clearly and the good memory`s made his heart ache.

“Good and now some other information of him; Height? Weight? The color of his hair and his eyes, as they are now?” “180cm, around 73kg, brown hair and brown eyes.” Sam told him.

“What was he wearing?” Sam remembered clearly, all he had to do was close his eyes and he could see him clearly in his memory.

“Blue jeans, slightly outworn pattern in the front, black sneakers, dark grey jacket and under it he had a white knitwear shirt.” “How about his health? Any diseases?”

”Good, no illnesses.”

“I need to know the route that you think that he might have used and then more information about this Mr. Parouxe. If you hear anything from your friend you need to let us know. The detailed search of him, will start tomorrow, if there is no sign of him until then.”

Sam was opening his mouth in attempt to protest.

“Sir, I`m very sorry, but we have a lot of work to do. Paris is a big city, people are reported missing every day, and often enough there`s nothing serious behind these reports, people show up not even knowing that someone has searched them. We just don`t have enough resources to act straight away to all these reports.” The officer explained to them.

“Thank you officer, we understand. We are just worried and afraid that it might be too late tomorrow.” Erick answered and placed his hand on Sam`s shoulder, hoping to soothe him a little.

“I understand your worry, but do try to calm down, I can assure you that we`ll do the best that we can to find your friend, but at the time being, we need to wait…Alright then if I can get your address and phone number.”

**********

Finally they arrived to their destination, where ever that was. Michael didn`t know how much time had passed, but he knew that they weren`t in Paris anymore. He heard the doors open and they dragged him out and forced him to move forward with them. They came inside some building and kept on walking. Then they stopped, the man who had held him in the car, still held him in front of him, his hands tightly behind his back. It seemed to be impossible to brake free. Someone walked in front of him and then took the scarf away from his eyes. Michael blinked a couple of times and then looked at Ricky`s sneering face, with fear and anger.

“Well Michael, it`s been along time.” Ricky said evilly. Michael looked around himself carefully. They were in a living room of some large house. He saw Joe, Ricky`s friend who had been with Jack, he sat on the couch and looked straight at him. Beside Joe, sat a man, who Michael didn`t know from before. He was around his forty`s, thin and ugly faced. Quite near them, sitting on an armchair, was a man, who looked like Sam`s aged, in his mid twenty`s perhaps. He was tall, with big muscles, his hair was sand blond. On the other side of the room, he saw Jean. Michael looked at him the longest. He knew that he shouldn`t be surprised, but still he was that a little. After all, this was the man, who one time had been good to him, that he had thought to love him, it seemed like forever ago now, but still. Jean was looking back at him, hell, they all were looking at him. Jean`s gaze was so cold.

Michael`s phone began to ring in his coat pocket. Ricky took it out and looked at it for a moment.

“Your boyfriend calls…” Ricky taunted, looking at him. “…Don`t worry, I`m sure that he`ll get over you. Eventually.” He said and loosened the phone in parts. He took the sim-card from the middle and tossed it away in the fireplace. Michael tried hard not to cry, he didn`t want to give Ricky the satisfaction of seeing his tears. Ricky took the scarf away from around his mouth. “You can scream all you want, no one will come to your help.” He smiled cruelly.

Michael couldn`t say a word. He looked at every one around him, knowing too well what they would do to him and he didn`t know how to stop them. There was six against one; it wouldn`t be a fair fight, but it wouldn`t stop him from trying. The man behind him started to tear his jacket off. Ricky helped him, holding him from the front side. Michael tried to fight them, but it was useless. They managed to undress his zip-fastened over shirt easily too. Taking his t-shirt off, would be more difficult. Michael squirmed and tried to kick them.

“You have become wild, haven`t you?” Ricky grinned and took the pocked knife out. He brought it close to Michael`s face and this made Michael stop his fighting.

Ricky slashed his shirt open and teared it off completely. Ricky moved his hand on his naked chest and stomach.

“Now, just look at you, still so beautiful. You have even more beauty than before, if it`s possible. You`re so fucking sexy.” “Don`t touch me you fucking perverse!” Michael screamed and Ricky only laughed at him.

“Oh Mike, darling, how do you plan to stop me?” Ricky whispered, took a firm hold of his chin and kissed him with force. Michael squirmed even harder, and as the man finally pulled away from the kiss, Michael spat on his face.

“You`re disgusting!” He screamed. Ricky wiped his face and looked at him with anger.

“Do you think that you`re making your position any better if you act like this?” He asked firmly.

“Do you think that you can do anything you want to me and I would just accept it? Never!!”

“Michael…I don`t think you have understood this. You`re here now, I can and I will do anything that I want to you. What ever you may have to say to this, doesn`t count the least bit to me or to anyone else here.” Ricky said and the others laughed. Michael startled a bit, he felt the hot breath of his captor on his neck and he could feel that the man was hard. It caused him to struggle again, but they only laughed to his attempts.

Ricky`s attention turned to the necklace that Sam had given him. He took the silver cross in his hand and looked at it.

“I didn`t know that you`re a religious person. You think that God will save you from this?” Ricky asked grinning. Michael bite his teeth together and refused to answer.

“Darling, I don`t think that He will.” He said then and pulled the necklace off from him. It was thrown onto the floor, Michael closed his eyes and tried to keep himself quiet.

“Steve, take his shoes off.” Ricky commanded. The youngest man rose up, bend down in front of him and took a hold of his other leg. Michael tried to kick him, but the man succeeded in taking his shoes and his shocks off. “You don`t need those or much else clothing in here for that matter.” Ricky laughed and grasped his arm tightly, the other man loosened his hold on him. Ricky started to drag him forward to the other room in the back.

Once they got there, Ricky closed the door after them. He pulled him on the bed climbing on top of him very quickly.

“Now, just the two of us, like in the good old days, remember?” Ricky whispered as Michael squirmed under him. He was in panic, he was scared. He wanted away from there. He kicked Ricky and managed to rise up, he tried to get to the door, but Ricky caught him again. He lifted Michael up to his arms and carried him back to the bed and under him.

He started to open his jeans and pulled them of off him.

“You don`t know how I`ve waited for this, two long years.” Richy whispered. He held Michael`s hands tightly above his head and pressed himself against him, so that Michael could feel how hard he was. Michael screamed and tried to fight him with all his remaining strength.

“That`s it darling, fight for me, fight. I`m going to fuck you and I`m going to fuck you hard, you don`t want me to, I know, I understand, so fight, harder, you need to fight harder.” Ricky said with lustful voice, tightening his grip on him. Michael really tried, Ricky knew that he did and enjoyed it, it just turned him on more. But Ricky was a much bigger and stronger man than he was, he couldn`t free himself. He groaned in despair and from the agony of his failed attempts, he was tired, so very tired. He screamed, even when he knew that no one would care or come to rescue him. Ricky squeezed his neck and kissed him, he bite his lips, making Michael scream again.

“Stop, please, stop…“ Michael kept asking over and over again, knowing that it would be of no use.

Ricky took the handcuffs and locked his hands on the bedpost.

”Looks like I won, your chance to escape went by already.” He grinned and rose up from the bed, starting to unbutton his shirt. Michael took a deep breath, he was shaking all over. He looked at Ricky`s bare, hairy and muscular chest for a moment before turning his face away from him. Nothing could be done now, he could not free himself. He cried, not able to hold his tears back any longer, it wouldn`t matter anymore. Michael heard as Ricky opened his belt and his trousers. He closed his eyes and thought about Sam, he remembered how Sam had looked at him, remembered the feeling of his soft lips on his skin, the touch of his gentle hands….

Ricky moved back onto the bed and something inside him snapped. He began screaming again and struggling like he was possessed. No one else was suppose to touch him like that again, no one else but Sam. Ricky laughed.

“Do you really think that this is going to help you in any way?”

”I want to leave, I want go home! Let me go!” He screamed.

“Yes, I know that you want to. There now, cry, just cry my pretty little whore…” Ricky spoke calmly and his rough hand was moving on his body.

Michael could see his erect cock; it was hard as a rock already, and the tip of it was glimmering with precome. It was so big, bigger than he had remembered and he could remember the horrible pain that he had felt when the man had trusted it inside him, he was afraid of it. He closed his eyes, hoping that he would have been drugged, so that he wouldn`t have to feel so much.

Ricky turned him slightly over to his side and slapped his bottom so hard that it made him scream again, and it was only the beginning. He forced him on his back again and his legs apart. He spat on his hand on brought his fingers inside him, preparing him, but only his own pleasure in mind. Soon enough he positioned himself against his opening. Ricky thrust inside him with force and the pain seemed to burn him inside. The man grasped his hips tightly, so tightly that it would most likely bruise him. Ricky moaned and his noises made Michael feel even more sick. In and out he thrust, enjoying even more from his pain. “Mine…whore…so tight…yes, that`s a good boy…good whore…” Ricky kept whispering to his ear. Michael cried, the pain, he couldn`t think of anything else, but the pain.

And finally it was over, Ricky rose up from the bed. He looked at Michael closely as he was getting dressed. Michael looked into the emptiness, he didn`t want to see him or anyone. He was sobbing quietly.

“I hope that you said a proper goodbye to your boyfriend today, you`ll never going to see him again.” Ricky said with a cold and evil voice. Michael closed his eyes, those words hurt more than anything else. `Sam…I love you.` He thought and he could see his face clearly in his mind. Everything had been perfect, for that brief time he had been happy and he had been loved. Now it was gone, it was taken from him, taken away from them. He wanted to curl up in to a lump, he wanted the happiness back.

*********

Jean took his bottle, he needed to drink some more. He had watched Michael, when they had brought him in. It was amazing how handsome he looked, so beautiful and so vulnerable. He remembered the good time together, in the beginning, when he had started to feel something real for him, to love him. It was somehow a frightening feeling, one he had never felt before, a feeling he didn`t know how to handle. Then the jealousy had taken him over. He had seen how the others looked at Michael, you couldn`t help but to notice him. Michael was the kind of person, who walked into a room and turned everyone`s eyes to himself and no one could shine next to his beauty. He knew that compared to Michael, he himself was nothing, how could Michael then love him? But Michael had tricked him, he had made him believe that he loved him and it had been nothing more than a lie. That`s what Jean thought. Inside the beauty, lived an insidious creature, who laughed at him, cheated him with Sam, sleeping with him in his home, in his bed, both of them had laughed at him. Jean was sure of it.

No, no more would Michael deceive him. He had given him a chance to settle things down, but he had refused and thrown everything that they had ever had, away. So Jean had revenged him, the perfect revenge. He had called Ricky and told him everything and then they had planned this. He had followed Michael, knew which ways he usually walked, the places where he usually went. He had waited and planned. Then they had gotten this place for use, the old, country house of Jacques. He was an old acquaintance of Ricky, a man, who had never been a saint before, but one who hadn`t been a part of something as big as this before. Ricky had shown him a picture of Michael ,and after only a short time of consideration,he had agreed to their plan.

Jean had waited for this moment, this night. This was what Michael deserved, he was sure of it. That whore thought that he was something special, Jean had thought. But as Michael had looked at him, with those, big, brown eyes of his, full with confusion and fear, Jean had felt a twinge in his heart. He, however, kept the expression on his face cold. He wanted to froze the feeling that tried desperately to rise to surface and which said that he had done wrong. For a moment he had succeeded in it, but now, hearing his screams, his pained screams from the other room, all the old feelings started to come back to him. He felt guilty; the young man he had once loved, was in pain now, because of him and deep inside he knew that he really didn`t deserve to be so.

Jean lifted the bottle up to his lips again. He didn`t want to hear, he needed to remember the reasons that had leaded up to this. He remembered how he had seen Sam kissing Michael; on the beach, at the club, on the street as they were having a walk together, looking so in love and so happy. The times that he and Michael had still been together and even then,they had looked at each others;secret, wanting looks. He remembered it all and felt the secure jealousy coming back to him.

**********

From the police-station, they drove back the route that Sam thought Michael might have used. They both sat in silence, Sam looked at the scenery closely, hoping to see some kind of clue of what had happened. Erick was drifting into his own thoughts, he couldn`t help but to blame himself. What if, he would have told Michael the truth at the beginning? Would it have helped? He felt responsible of Michael, he had felt that from the start. He had picked him and Jean off from the airport and looked at this young, innocent boy, who had no idea of how closely his and Jean`s past were connected. Michael had trusted Jean and believed in every word of his, believed that he had wanted to help him with no strings attached. But Erick had known the truth all that time.

A month after Michael and Jean had arrived to Paris, Erick had talked with Jean in private. Erick remembered the conversation perfectly. “Jean, when is this game going to end? Shouldn`t you tell him the truth?” “This is no game Erick, it would be crazy to tell him now and you keep your mouth shut about it too, right?” “I`ll keep my word, if you promise me not to hurt him, I like that boy, he deserves better.”

“Of course I won`t hurt him, I care about him, really I do. I`m falling in love with him. It might not have started out like that, but now…every day I spend with him, is the best day of my life…That`s why, you have to promise to me, that you will not tell him about me and Ricky. It`s over, it`s the past, it dosn`t matter anymore.” 
And Erick had believed him, he had seen how happy Jean looked when ever Michael had stepped into the same room. Maybe he should have told Michael the truth however, at least when he had seen the first bruises on his face and on his body, but time after time, Jean had managed to assure him to keep his silence.

“Stop the car!” Sam shouted suddenly. Erick hit the brake, slightly scared of the sudden shout.

“What is it?” He asked in confusion, once the car had stopped. Sam rose up from the car, not saying a word. He walked down the dark alley, stopped and knelled onto the ground, there was something on it.

“Sam, what is it?” Erick asked. Sam rose up with the bag on his hands.

”This is Michael`s” He said and looked at the bag, with an odd expression. “It happened here…” He said then. He felt like he was shaking all over.

“Sam, lets go, we`ll inform about that to the police, there`s nothing more that we can do today.” Erick told him.

Sam returned to the car, looking somehow so very small and fragile, like he would fall in to pieces at any moment. He sat down and squeezed the bag closely against himself. He had never been so scared, his imagination ran to horrible pictures and places. “Fight my love, don`t give up, please don`t give up.” He muttered to himself.

Erick drove him back home.

“You`ll be alright now, will you?” Erick asked with worry as Sam got up to leave.

“I`ll manage.” Sam answered weakly.

”I`ll talk to you tomorrow. We will find him Sam, it will be alright.” Erick said.

“We`ll find him…we talk…night…” Sam said and closed the car door.

The apartment had never felt so empty, so cold, so lifeless. Sam walked into the living room, and sat on the couch of the dark room. He felt a lump in his throat, it felt hard to breath, his heart was aching. He felt as though he was drowning and he couldn`t get up to the surface.Nothing could ease how he felt, nothing and no one except Michael. He rose up, and walked over to the bookshelf. He looked at his picture on it and took it into his hand.

“I love you, come what may. Promise me that you`ll come back to me.” He whispered. He aalked over to the bedroom and laid down on the bed. He took Michael`s pillow, held it tightly against his chest. The pillow still smelled like him, Sam started to cry, he felt so helpless.
 

Chapter 24.

The first light of the morning sun shimmered through the curtains. Michael opened his eyes carefully, and for that brief moment, he hoped that he would find himself laying next to Sam, and that he had only seen a nightmare. But it hadn`t been just a nightmare, it had all happened, it had all been real and he was still there, in that house, in that room. His left hand was locked with handcuffs on to the radiator. He groaned quietly as he rose up to sit. He was feeling so cold. He massaged his naked upper body with his free hand and draw his knees close to his chest.

He had, had the change to go to the bathroom to wash himself, at some time of the night. Ricky had guarded the door while he was in. Ricky had let him dress his jeans back on, but nothing else, not even underwear. The bathroom was opposite the room, that he was in. He had hoped, that he would have had the chance to see his surroundings more, and to know exactly where the front door would be.

He tried to pull his hand free as quietly as he could, he tried to tear the radiator off, knowing that it would all be useless, but he had to at least try. He looked at the window behind him, if he by some miracle, succeeded to pull himself free, he could brake the window and try to run. He hadn`t seen the place where the house was situated, but perhaps there would be some good hiding places near? `Think now Michael, think.` He kept telling himself, trying desperately to think of a way out. He had get out of that place.

His thoughts run to where Sam was, he wondered what he was doing at that moment and he worried the most about of how worried his lover must have been over him. He didn`t want Sam to worry too much. Michael close his eyes, he felt the lump in his throat, he was scared and he wanted back to his love. He remembered all the mornings and all the nights in his arms, his soothing, gentle voice, the warmth, the kisses…Michael nipped his bottom lip, tears had began to fall down on his face.

He started to hear voices coming from the other rooms. He looked at the door, behind which they kept walking by, Michael felt restless. He wondered what they would do to him. `Maybe they will kill you soon?` His mind suggested, but he knew that it wouldn`t be over that fast and that easy. If they would just want to kill him, they would have done it last night. But death was what was waiting for him eventually, if he couldn`t find a way to escape, and how would they torture him before that? Michael began to tremble, he didn`t want to die and he most certainly didn`t want his life to end like this; being raped over and over again and then…He felt sick. He started to pray silently to God to save his life, and he hadn`t prayed in a long time.

Soon he heard how someone was opening the door and he became alert. He looked at the door closely as it opened slowly, then he saw Jean. He walked in, carrying a tray and closed the door after him. They looked at each others for a moment, not saying a word. Michael searched his face and his eyes. The feeling was strange; Jean who had once been so dear and familiar to him, stood there, seeming so strange and scaring now. He searched something familiar from his eyes and thought that he saw a climbs of the old Jean, the one he had once known.

“I thought that you might be hungry.” Jean said approaching him. His voice sounded gentle. Michael watched his every move. He knelled onto the floor, close to him. “How are you feeling?” He asked, looking like he would have wanted to touch him.



“How am I feeling?! How do you think I`m feeling?! Thank you Jean, I feel fucking great, and you?” Michael hissed with anger. Jean looked at him seriously.

“Don`t be like that…It wouldn`t have to be like this Michael, I loved you.” He said quietly.

“Loved me? You don`t know what love is!…You wanted to own me, that`s all. Well, that didn`t work, and here I am now…” Michael sighted.

“You cheated on me! I loved you and you cheated on me with Sam!…What was I suppose to do, let it by just like that?” Jean asked with an angry voice.

“My God, you still don`t get it, do you? You, always behind my back, watching every god damn move that I made. I only had to smile to someone else and you thought that I was cheating on you! What happened with Sam, it was just one kiss that night, I admit that, but nothing else happened, not before you and Patrick…” Michael fell quiet, taking a deep breath.

“You`re still trying to lie to me, I know that it was more! All those times, I came home and found you two, with red cheeks, laughing to something, and as soon as you saw me, you fell silent. There was always something secret between you two.” Michael looked at Jean, feeling tired. Jean was right in someways, but he accused him of much more that he had done, and what Jean had done was much worse.

“I could try to tell you the truth over and over again, and you still wouldn`t believe me, because you have chosen not to…Do you really hate me this much? Haven`t I suffered enough from your hands, or his?”

“I loved you, I already told you that, but you laughed at that love and cheated on me…You wouldn`t even talk to me, if you had, then…This didn`t have to go like this.” Jean said.

Michael looked at him shaking his head and laughed dryly.

“It`s not love Jean, can`t you see? It`s not love to beat someone, to put the other one down constantly with words, it`s not love to rape the other. I was blind myself for awhile, but no more…Love especially, can`t be turned off like that, that you can…Oh god Jean, you gave me to Ricky! After all that you know, you gave me to him…Can you not realize? He still uses you, plays you as his puppet. I can guess that everything in here goes by what he wants, and you and the others are just his mindless servants.” Michael said and Jean was looking very annoyed, but managed to hold himself down.

“You need to eat, here take some coffee.” He said with a firm voice and handed him the coffe cup.

“I don`t want anything from you!” Michael screamed and lashed the cup from his hand, so that the coffee was spilled on Jean. Jean`s anger grew.

“I was just trying to be friendly! Here you would surely need it, because trust me, you`re not getting it from anyone else, but I can see that it`s not good enough for you. Fine, have it your way then!” Jean snapped, rose up and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Michael was breathing fast, he tried to calm himself down and for a moment he regretted that he had gotten Jean mad. After all Jean was right, he really did need all the friendliness that he could get here, but his nature didn`t give in that easily. Why should he try to please Jean, the man who had brought him into this hell? He looked at the tray that he had brought him; orange juice, croissants, fresh fruits… `I`m sorry for doing this to you, but here, take this splendid breakfast.` Michael thought somehow darkly amused by this, all that was missing would be a small vase, with red rose in it. He was hungry, he could feel it clearly, it had been hours since the last time he had eaten. His pride gave in for the hunger. He leaned forward and took one croissant from the tray.

***********

Sam hadn`t been able to sleep for the whole night, he sat in front of the kitchen table, drinking his fifth cup of tea. On the kitchen counter was Michael`s tea cup, that he had left there the previous morning. `If I move it, Michael won’t come back.` Sam thought, and it made sense in his exhausted mind.

He remembered the last morning together, they had slept late, almost to the noon. Then they had breakfast. Michael had leaned his back against the kitchen counter, his face meeting his, and he had smiled. “We could take some time off for ourselves, a small holiday and go somewhere.” Michael had suggested, sounding excited. He had lifted his tea cup up to his lips and drank. Sam had risen up from his chair, walked over to him and they had kissed.

“Where would you like to go? You can decide, I would follow you anywhere.” He had told him and kissed his beautiful neck softly.

“Alright…I would like to travel to Spain, I have always wanted to go there sometime, to see the town where my grandmother grew up.” Michael had told him, smiling.

“Spain it is then, warm and beautiful, sounds good to me.” He had promised. Michael had placed his tea cup down, wrapped his arms around him, raised his eyebrow and smiled seductively.

“When shall we go there?”

“When ever you wish, I can take the time off from work.”

“Hm… sometime in november?” Michael had suggested.

“Alright, then it is.”

“Mmmh…I think, I need to thank you somehow Sam…We could still make it, before you have to go to work…”
 Michael had hinted, looked at the bedroom and then kissed his neck. Sam hadn`t needed a bigger hint than that.

The doorbell rang and he rose up tired, he went to open the door. Kitty was standing there and she looked at him with worry. “Michael hasn`t come home yet?” She asked, coming in.

“No, we reported him missing last night with Erick.” Sam said quietly and walked back into the kitchen, Kitty following him. “You haven`t gotten any sleep, have you?” Kitty asked, pouring some watter into a pan and placing it on the stove.

“Well no. How could I sleep, when he`s out there, probably suffering, and I`m not able to do a bloody thing about it…” Sam`s voice was breaking, he sat down and Kitty sat opposite from him. “Sam I`m sure that everything will be alright, that we`ll find him, and everything will be alright again.” Kitty said bending her head slightly over to the side.

“Will it be alright?! What if it won`t be alright?!…What if…” Sam yelled, he couldn`t finish his sentence.

He got up, walked over to the window and stared outside. “Sam, I…” Kitty started, she had walked behind her friend and placed her hands on his shoulders. Sam turned to look at her.

“Can you not realize Kitty? It`s been hours since he`s been missing, in that time a lot of things have had time to happen already, too much things…Even if we can find him a life, what kind of marks this has already left him with? Michael has been through too much bad things in life, how much more can one person take?” Sam asked, tears had began to fall down on his face, making his eyes even brighter blue.

“Oh Sam, I don`t know, I really don`t know. We just have to hope for the best and be repaired for the worse. Michael is strong, just remember that. He`s a fighter, if anyone can pull through this, it`s him.” Kitty said, she had tears in her eyes too, she hugged her friend tightly. “Alright, sit down now and let me pour you some tea.” Kitty said with a gentle voice. Sam did just that. He couldn`t think about anything else, but his lover. He thought about what had happened and he thought about Jean. The sadness was mixed with the rage towards the man, who had taken away their happiness.

After he had finished drinking his tea, he walked through the apartment feeling restless. His anger and frustration kept on growing. He took a vase in his hand, looked at it for a second and then threw it against the nearest wall, braking it in to a thousands of little pieces. Sam fell onto the floor with his knees and cover his face, he cried without any comfort. Kitty ran to him and knelled beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to comfort him.

“It`s so fucking wrong! I promised him that no one would never hurt him, I promised and I failed him!” Sam screamed.

“Sam, please don`t do this to yourself, you couldn`t have stopped it, you couldn`t have watched after him all the time…You did your best.” Kitty whispered.

“I could have…should have gone to the police earlier…I should have…”

”Shh…Sam, don`t think that way…The police will find him, they will find him, they just have to.” Kitty assured, partly to herself too. They both cried, Kitty sat beside him, her arms still around him. They didn`t say a word in along time, they just were there, giving silent comfort for each others.

*************

It had been a long time since Jean had left the room, Michael laid on the floor and stared at the door in front of him. He was scared of what was to come, and he knew that something would happen soon, something would be done to him by the time the day had passed.

The door opened and this time Steve, the youngest man of them, entered. Michael looked at him with insecure as he came nearer.

“You can go to the bathroom again.” He told him and knelled down to free his hand. He lifted him up, keeping a firm hold of him and leaded him out from the room, into the bathroom. Steve pushed him in and closed the door. Michael was slightly happy, if you could call that happiness, that he was allowed his privacy in the bathroom. He decided to shower again, he felt that he could never be clean enough anymore. The warm watter felt good on his shivering body. He had searched the bathroom earlier and couldn`t find any window or sharp objects that would help him. Well, they wouldn`t probably let him alone there if there was such things. He wondered.

Steve dragged him back to the room and this time locked his both hands behind his back. Michael was back against the wall, the corner of the radiator was pressing his back uncomfortably. Michael brought his knees close to his chest and squeezed his legs together tightly. Stave was still there, looking at him in a way he didn`t like. Steve touched his thigh through his jeans and started to move his hand to his genitals. Michael tried to squirm and get his hand away from him, but it was quite useless, because he could barely move. Steve pushed hid legs apart as he tried to close them, his hand was feeling him and squeezing him now with ease, his breathing changed, his eyes burning with lust.

“Stop it!” Michael screamed and tried to back away, only having the radiator to press his back even more painfully. Steve laughed, raised his hand on his face, his thumb caressed the skin on his cheek. Michael felt ill.

“You are a beautiful whore, really beautiful…”

“Fuck you! Keep your dirty hands away from me!” Michael hissed. Steve touched his bottom lip with his thumb.

“Such a pretty little mouth you have, I would think much better use with it, than talking back to us, with such dirty words. I think we will have that chance too, you would like that wouldn`t you? To suck my cock. Oh yes, I know you would, you eager slut…You`re going to get it soon, yes, you`re going to get some cock in your ass and in your pretty mouth…” Steve pushed his middle- and forefinger in his mouth, finger fucking him, Michael couldn`t stand it anymore so he bite down hard on his fingers and this made Steve scream from pain.

“You fucking slut!” He yelled and slapped his face.

”You better watch yourself from doing that again, or I swear you`ll regret the day you were born!” He screamed and held his injured fingers inside his other hand.

“But I already do.” Michael whispered and bite his teeth together looking at him with defiance. Steve looked at him, but didn`t say another word, he rose and left the room.


Michael leaned his head against the wall. He cried, they would rape him again soon, all six of them? He wondered and the thought was just too much to handle. It would be worse than hell. He was tired and hungry, apparently they were not going to feed him much, the breakfast had been hours ago. The room was dim, the sun had began to go down. `What have I done to deserve this?` He wondered. All his life, people had told him how beautiful he was, since he had been a baby, and now he hated it. “Such a beautiful child.” “A beautiful boy.” A strange people smiling and touching his face and his body with their hands. When he had been a child, it had been even more uncomfortable, he could never understand why these people had talked to him like that, and he hadn`t liked the way of how they had touched him. He had wanted to be just like the others. Nothing bad had ever happened then though, there had always been his parents; his mother watching over him like a mother hawk, and then there had been Tony, always by his side, protecting him.

When he reached his teen-age, he had suddenly understood the power of his looks, and noticed that it could be turned to his advantage. Just smile and flirt, he had thought when ever he had come up against with troubles, he had talked his way out of detentions and such. Even then at times, he hadn`t liked the way people acted with him. There had been many girls running after him and just one word from him and they would have opened their legs to him gladly, but all that just because of his looks and that he was popular. Had any of them cared about who he truly was inside? There was so much more in him than just his looks. Tony had known him, all of him and still liked him. Sam knew him and loved him, Michael could be sure that his love was deep and that he loved him for who he was, not for the way he looked.

He closed his eyes and thought about what his life would be like, if he hadn`t left with Ricky. `Why couldn`t I wait?` He asked himself. It had been his last year in senior high school, if he would have just endured that, then he could have left. He remembered the last time he had seen Tony. “I know you Michael, your not that though that every one thinks you are…please, don`t go.” He could hear his friends voice clearly in his mind, just like he had only heard it yesterday. “Michael Benjamin Wills, wait! God dammit listen to me!” He should have waited, Tony had wanted to talk with him and maybe they could have made their friendship alright again? `Why didn`t I wait?` He asked himself for the second time.

He had planned then, before everything had changed, that he would move to London to study as a chef or perhaps study history in the university. He wondered would he have met Sam there and how would their life`s be like if everything had been different? How would he himself be like now? In the reality, he probably would have never meet with Sam in that life, and in this, Sam was the best thing that had ever happened to him. This gave him some strange comfort. At least he had experienced the true love,the one he had always dreamed about. So the happiness had been short, but he had gotten it all the same. Sam had found him under everything bad that had ever happened to him and he still loved him. Not many could get over his past, what he had been before and that he had been raped. He knew how some would look at him, if they would find that out. He would try for Sam, he would fight with everything that he had left, because of Sam. They wanted to brake him, and to kill his spirit, but he would fight it. It would be hard, but he would try.

Finally he heard the door open again and Ricky came in. Michael looked at him, as he came closer and he knew that the time had come; that the hell would now truly begin for him. Ricky knelled down and opened the lock of the handcuffs.

“Alright Mike, time to have some fun, wouldn`t you agree?” Ricky grinned and lifted him up. Michael`s heart began to race, his mind filled with fear. Ricky started to drag him towards the living room, where he heard music and talking. The men were playing cards in front of the living room table, everyones eyes turned to him as they walked in. Michael noticed the video camera beside the couch, and looked at it with horror. Okay so this was going to be so much more difficult than he had thought. Then he looked at Jean, he had the same kind of look in his eyes, that the night of his birthday.

“I think it’s your turn Jean.” Ricky said and pushed Michel in front of him. Jean looked at him from head to toe, enjoying from this situation greatly. Then he rose up, approached him, but still didn`t touch him. Michael turned his face away from him. “Mindless servants, did you say?” Jean whispered so quietly that only Michael heard him. Michael turned his eyes back to him. His breathing was tense as he was waiting with fright of what would happen. “You`re the servant, or better yet; the slave, our whore.” Jean continued wrapping his arms around him then and pulling him into a forceful kiss.

Michael tried to squirm away from him.

“Stop it Jean, please.” Michael asked.

”So now you beg for me? Why should I stop now, when I have had the taste of you?” Jean grinned and dragged him onto the couch. He shed him there on his back and came on top of him. He continued kissing him and shoved his pelvis roughly against his. Someone came to help Jean, taking a hold of Michael`s wrists. Jean rose up to sit on him. He started to open his shirt, the whole time looking at his face. Michael tried to squirm as Jean was undressing his jeans from him.

“No, no, no…” He kept saying, still crying. He felt even more sick as he knew that all this was being filmed, so that some other sick fuck could get himself off watching a rape video. There was so many men, how could he take it? It felt hard to breath as he was beginning to panic. `Try to relax, you`ll hurt more, if you won`t relax.` He tried to tell himself, but in a situation like this the relaxing part was difficult.

Jean rose up and undressed himself completely. His cock was hard, he massaged with his hand looking at his prey.

“You look so fucking sexy, you need this, don`t you?” Jean said and climbed on top of him again.

“Oh god, please no, don`t do this, please…” Michael begged them.

“I remember a time when you liked this, can you remember? You wanted it, you needed it…I doubt that Sam can give you what you need.” Jean whispered. Michael could only cry, a part of him wanted to yell at him, that he had never enjoyed sleeping with him, but the other part told him to be quiet if he wanted to live. Jean had taken the lube and was preparing him with his fingers, then he lubed his own cock. Jean was sitting on his knees on the couch and he lifted Michael`s hips up positioning his cock on his opening and started slowly to push inside, which took some time, because Michael`s ring muscles were resisting the intruder so much. Finally he was in, Michael was gasping, he tried to move away, but it was of no use. Jean was kissing him, making his lips bleed, he was fucking him, his nails dug into his hip, the other man`s hold on his wrists tightened.

Michael could see from the corner of his eyes that the other men were looking at them aroused, the air was heavy, he felt the pain move inside him. He tried to think of something else, tried to run inside his mind and into better memory`s. Finally he heard and felt Jean coming inside him. He was still laying on top of him and then grasped his chin.

“It`s not over yet whore.” Jean sneered and kissed him again. The man who had held his wrists released them. Jean lifted him up to his lap and held him on tightly.

The next man, the one who had held him in the car, that big, bald one, rose up and came to him. His trousers were open and he held his hard cock in his hand.

“Open your mouth.” He told him and when Michael didn`t do it straight away, he grasped his throat and squeezed it slightly. “Open it, or you`re as good as death.” He threatened him, and so Michael took his organ into his mouth. He felt as thought he would choke as the man began to rape his mouth, shoving it deeper and deeper. It grew harder and harder inside his mouth. “Yes that`s it, suck it, suck it good.” The man moaned keeping a firm hold on both side of his head. Finally he came, forcing him to swallow all. Michael almost vomited after this, but managed to hold it inside.

Soon Ricky came to him, pulling him up into a kiss. Jean rose up and Joe sat on the couch where he had just sat. He opened his pants up, taking a hold of his cock, when Ricky forced Michael to move his back against Joe, to sit on his lap. Joe guided his cock into his still slippery hole and then grasped his hips, Michael groaned, the pain was beginning to feel unbearable. Everything seemed so dark to his vision. Ricky forced him to suck his cock while Joe was fucking him. Michael heard as the others cheered to them and laughed. Ricky finally came all over his face and soon enough Joe came inside him.

His consciousness started to fail, as the pain only kept growing. It felt as though it all had lasted forever, everyone took him on their turns. The room seemed to shift in his eyes, their faces blurred to his vision. Finally it felt like he was just looking at it all from the outside, it was all so unreal. Finally everything became dark.

Chapter 25.

Sam hadn`t been able to sleep proper for the following night either, every time that he managed to fall a sleep, the dreams he had, were nightmares. In these nightmares he saw how Michael died, how someone called him that he was dead, Michael was about to be killed and he couldn`t reach him soon enough.

When the morning came, he walked through their apartment, like a ghost. He remembered him, and every good moment that they had had, and he wept. He missed him so much that it almost felt as though he would be dying from the pain of loosing of his lover. On the living room table, he found the little piece of paper that Michael had looked at so many times, so many nights, wondering should he call to his family. He opened the wrinkled paper and looked at the numbers written on it. It had only been one and a half day since his lover had been missing and he was beginning to loose it already, how it must felt like for his parents to not hear anything about their only child for six years? Sam wondered. He took his phone and started to dial the numbers slowly. The phone rang evenly, Sam`s heart was beading fast, he had no idea of what to say to these people.

“Hello.” The woman`s soft voice answered, just as he was about to hung up.

“Mrs. Wills?” Sam asked whit insecurity.

“Yes, this is she.” The woman answered.

“Hi, This Samuel Grey speaking, you don`t know me, but I call in behalf of your son Michael.” Sam said quickly, perhaps a little too quickly because he was so nervous. It was very quiet in the other end of the line for a moment. “Mrs. Wills, are you still there?” Sam asked and heard how the woman took a deep breath, sounding a little bit shocked.

“I…I`m still here.” She began carefully. “Just listen to me, if this is some kind of a sick joke, then…” She continued with nervous voice.

“No, I can assure you, this is no joke. I know it must be strange, that a total stranger should call you like this, but…I…I don`t know how to tell you this…I have known your son a little over a year now, he was planning to call you himself, but then he…” Sam struggled with his words.

“You are right, this is very odd…The last I saw Michael was six years ago, and I haven`t heard a word from him since, except once, shortly after he had left…And now you call me and…” The woman stopped before finishing her sentence, and started to cry quietly. Sam circled a pen in his hand and wondered what he should say next.

“I wish, I could have called you in more happier circumstances, or that Michael could have done it himself…The thing is…” Sam started.

“He`s dead?!” The woman cried.

“No! He`s missing, I think he`s been kidnapped.” Sam was finally able to say.

“ Kidnapped? Where?…Who exactly are you and where are you calling from?” Mrs. Wills asked in confusion.

“I`m his boyfriend, we live together, I`m calling from Paris.” Sam told her, and felt himself like an idiot.

“Who has…? I…I`m a little bit confused…I…” Mrs. Wills struggled to say.

“I want to invite you here, in Paris…I called because Michael has talked about it so much and…This is so hard, I don`t know what I should say…I`m sorry if I have upset you.” Sam said, and the woman was quiet for a moment.

“I don`t know how to take this news…In all these past six years, I have feared that my son has died, and now you call me, and tell me that you are his boyfriend and that someone has kidnapped my son…How am I suppose to know, that what you`re saying is true? How do I know that you really know my son?” She asked finally. Sam sighted deeply, before he began.

“When Michael was a child, he was afraid of the dark, there for, there was always a small night lamp in his room, until he got over his fear. Every night, when he was a child, you would tell him story`s that you had made up yourself, his favorite was the one with the wolf and a squirrel. With Angelia, Michael buried one of his favorite soft toys, because he didn`t want her to be alone.” Sam finished and heard how Mrs. Wills started to cry. “

You know him…” She said and continued. “We`ll be there, as soon as we can, I want to find him, I want to find my son.”

Sam was relieved once he had finished the call. Mr. and Mrs. Wills would arrive the next day, by train from London to Paris. He wrote down the time he would be meeting them at the train station. He leaned back on the couch and prayed silently, that Michael would be found soon and that he would be alright.

*********

The pain he felt, was something beyond realization. After that horrible evening and night Jean had carried him back to the bedroom, laid him onto the bed and locked his hands on the bedposts. Jean was sleeping by his side. Michael looked at him, feeling angry and sick. He looked at the room around him, he wanted to die, it just hurt so bad that he felt as though death would be the only relieve to that. He wanted the pain to end.

Jean started to wake up next to him, he placed his hand on his naked chest and he moaned quietly with pleasure. Michael`s whole body tensed of the feeling of his touch. He didn`t want it, not now, not ever again. Jean lifted his head up, touched his face and smiled. He smiled in a way that he had smiled at the time that they had been a couple, the time that they had still been happy together. It felt so grotesque to him. Jean tried to kiss him, but Michael turned his face a side.

“Michael, chéri, please let me kiss you…” Jean whispered. Michael shivered, he was on the verge of tiers. He looked at Jean with confuse. He didn`t know what was wrong with him. The previous night, he had been so cruel to him, the look in his eyes had been so devilish, and now, there he was, smiling, talking to him with soft voice, looking at him with loving eyes. Michael couldn`t speak. Jean moved his hand down on his body, and Michael startled from pain.

“You`re in pain, I`ll bring you something to ease that.” Jean said and was about to get up from the bed.

“What`s the fuck wrong with you Jean? Last night you hurt me and now…” Michael`s voice was weak, it was breaking. He looked at Jean, trying to find some answers from his eyes.

“I…I still love you, but then I remember you and Sam, and it drives me crazy from jealousy. I cave you everything and you refused me.” Jean answered quietly.

“If you would love me, you wouldn`t have brought me here, and you wouldn`t have hurt me…What do you want from me? That I would pray you to save my life, to pray you to save me again from him? Ricky keeps me here, as long as I bring pleasure to him, then he will kill me, I know this.” Michael said, and he couldn`t keep himself from crying.

“No Michael, they will not kill you.” Jean said, sounding somehow frightened.

“What then? Do you honestly believe that a man like Ricky, would let me go and take the risk of me telling everything to the police and have his reputation ruined?” Michael asked.

Jean remembered, all of a sudden he remembered everything and too much, things that he had tried so hard and so long to forget. Horrifying, nightmarish memory`s returned to him; blood that was not his own, screams, torture. One time Ricky had killed a boy, who had come with them, a street prostitute. Jean had asked him why he had done it. “Because I can, because I wanted to see how it would feel like, no one will miss him, he was just a whore…” Ricky had replied, and it had frightened Jean, too see him without any kind of emotion after he had just killed someone.

He remembered the last cries of the boy, how he had begged for his life when he saw what was coming. Jean lifted his hands on his temples, he didn`t want to remember, it made him feel sick. He had started to drink then, more and more, daily. He had wanted to numb himself and for a long time he had, he had forgotten, he had explained to himself that it had just been a dream. But now, what Michael had just said, made it all come back to him. The drinking had turned him almost like the same kind of monster that Ricky was, a person, he had never wanted to be. But those years that he spend with him, had changed him permanent, a part of him, the part that had still some goodness in him, was slowly beginning to die, he could feel it, and he didn`t know how to stop it. He sometimes wondered was he loosing his mind, it felt as though a stranger was taking over his mind and his body. He was afraid of himself.

He looked at Michael and tears filled his eyes. `What have I done? What is wrong with me? Oh God, please help me.` He thought to himself and ran his hand through his hair. This wasn`t what he had wanted, he had just been so obsessed with revenge, he had wanted Michael to suffer for the way he had, when he had loosed him to Sam. Now when he looked at him, his mind filled with fear, and sadness, he didn`t want Michael to die. What he could do to save him from that? He didn`t know. “Don`t be scared Michael, everything will be alright…somehow.” Jean said with insecurity. He rose up and left the room.

Only a moment later, he returned back. He had a glass of water in his other hand and couple of pills in the other. He sat next to him.

“Take these, it will help you to sleep.” He said then and supported Michael`s head from his neck. He handed the pills close to his mouth. Michael looked at him with insecurity. He saw the bewitched, desperate look in his eyes, he saw pain and inner struggling. A glimpse of a man he had known before, and who once had been good to him. `Perhaps not all was a lie?` He wondered, but was still scared. Inside those eyes, he also saw a man who had hurt him and who could hurt him again and probably would, if he couldn`t escape from them. He kept his eyes on Jean`s when he opened his mouth. He wanted some relieve to his pain, he wanted to drift into a sleep. Jean smiled to him gently, feed him the pills and helped him to drink the water. He laid his head down and stroked his cheek.

“Forgive me, forgive that I can`t fight myself better.” He whispered and covered Michael with the coverlet. He stroked his hair and watched him to fall a sleep.

Michael didn`t know how long he had slept, he was feeling weary because of the sleeping drugs. He hoped that he could move and stand up. It was frustrating not to be able to move proper. Although a part of him wanted to die, there was another part that refused to give up. He didn`t want to die here, not like this. He needed to see Sam, even if it were for one last time, he needed at least say goodbye to him, he didn`t want his lover to be in the darkness of his fate. It would be easier for Sam to move on, if he would at least know what had happened to him.

He stared at the ceiling, starting to remember every crack and places where the paint had worn out. He heard how the door opened and expected to see Jean, but it turned out to be Ricky. His heart started to beat wildly in his chest. He stared at his cruel, unkind face; death seemed to be nearer then ever before.

Jean had tried not to drink that day, but it was hard, especially in those circumstances. He had wondered how he could take Michael a way from there, and save him from Ricky and perhaps from himself. On the other hand, he wanted to keep Michael with him and never let go. What if he would just arrange some other place for them? Take Michael somewhere in southern France, then they could be together, always, and before long he would win his heart and his love back. Jean wondered and smiled to this. `But does that whore really deserve it?` The other voice questioned in his head, and Jean tried hard to quiet it. “Jean, Ricky told you to go the bedroom.” Joe came and told him. Jean was surprised, he walked into the room with insecure steps.

Ricky sat on the bed and held Michael in front of him. He kept a knife on his throat and Michael`s hands were locked behind his back. Jean looked at Michael`s face, he noticed him shivering.

“Close the door.” Ricky told him and smiled evilly. Jean did as he was told. “I have noticed that you seem a bit off today Jean, it is as if your heart wasn`t in this anymore.” Ricky said and looked at him carefully.

“You`re just imagining, of course I´m still in this.” Jean answered trying to sound calm.

”That`s great, then we can have some fun, just the three of us, right Jean?” Jean nodded his head, he didn`t know what else to do. ”You want that too, dont you Mikey?” Ricky whispered to his ear. Michael squeezed his eyes close tightly as he felt the cold steel move on his throat. Tears fall down on his face. ”If I were you, I would answer more quickly my sweet English.” Ricky spoke.

”Y-yes.” Michael managed to say, his voice was weak, filled with fear. He opened his eyes and looked at Jean.

“Come onto the bed Jean, kiss him. Kiss our sweet little English whore.” Ricky ordered him. Jean thought it best to do what ever he wanted, that was the way it worked with him. He was afraid that Ricky could slash Michael`s throat open at any moment. On the other hand it would be unlikely, Ricky hadn`t had enough of fun with him yet.

He climbed on top of Michael and kissed him carefully. Michael didn`t dare to move or fight any of this.

“Well Jean, I think you can do better than that, that was a pitiful try.” Ricky urged him. Jean looked at his sneering face, annoyed. After that he leaned in to kiss his ex longer and more violently. Michael still didn`t resist him. Jean touched his naked skin, it felt so warm, and so smooth, Jean felt himself growing harder. He knew that it was wrong, what they were doing, but it aroused him all the same. Michael was more scared than ever before, Ricky could kill him at any moment if he wanted. The thought about sex, made him feel ill to, but he knew that there wasn`t no choice for him, they would rape him, they didn`t care. `You can take this Michael, you can…it will be over soon, just try to close your mind…` Michael kept telling himself. Jean was his chance, his only chance. He just had to trick him, make him believe that he loved him, and that he wanted him. It was his chance to get home to Sam.


Michael answered to the kiss, and it took Jean by surprise. He looked at his ex lovers eyes and tried to read his mind through them. The kiss felt good, like the time when they had been lovers. He kissed him again, almost forgetting the knife.

“That`s it, good boy, this is what you want.” Ricky whispered with pleased voice, he touched his face and then opened the handcuffs. “I`ll take these away, but if you try anything then…” Ricky said turning his face to meet his. He hold the knife flat on his cheek, and stroked his face with it gently. “I could hurt you really badly with this, your pretty face, it would be a shame really.” Michael nodded his head carefully and looked at the knife horrified.

”Now suck Jean`s cock, I want to watch you two.” Ricky said with hoarse voice. Jean opened his pants and Michael kissed his half erect cock looking at his eyes. He tried to hide his anger and resentment towards the man. His cock grew harder as he suck and licked on it. Suddenly he felt Ricky`s rough hand on his ass and he startled. `Not there, not again…` He thought as Ricky was squeezing him and his attention became very clear. Michael turned around and looked at him carefully.

”Let me suck you off, please.” He said, with a quiet, resigned voice, the kind which he knew that Ricky had liked one time. He touched his hard organ through his pants. He hated himself more than he ever thought possible, he felt so dirty.

“Open my pants, take my cock out.” Ricky ordered and Michael did that, hoping that he would be able to please him by just sucking, and that it would save him from the worse. “Spit on it.” Ricky said, his mouth was slightly open as he was looking at him. Michael spat on his cock. “Take it in your mouth.” Ricky told him and Michael did, he was crying, he couldn`t help it no matter how much he tried. “Deeper, take it in deeper slut.” Ricky moaned, Michael gagged. Jean moved closer to them and Michael tried to work his cock with his hands, hoping that they would both com soon.

Ricky pulled out from his mouth. “I`m going to fuck your lovely ass now.” He said.

“Please, let me just suck you, please.”

“Turn around.” Ricky smirked.

”Please no.” Michael tried.

“Turn around now!” Ricky demanded. When Michael didn`t do it, Ricky slapped his face and forced him to lie down on his back. “Hold his wrists.” Ricky said to Jean. Jean obeyed him. Michael screamed when Ricky penetrated him. He was still very sore after last night and it felt as though he could past out from mere pain. Jean had to close his eyes, he wished now that he had been drinking, when he was sober, he could understand how horrible this really was to Michael. His screams were braking his heart, but he couldn`t let Ricky see this.

“This feels so good, this is what you like you whore.” Ricky moaned, looking at his pained face. Finally he came. ”You’re mine, always mine, just remember that.” Ricky grinned and kissed him with force. He rose up from the bed. “Do what you want with him Jean, only limits are; don`t free him and do not kill him. I enjoy from our whore greatly, he`s even prettier when he suffers.” Ricky laughed and left from the bedroom.

Jean hold Michael in his arms. Michael was shaking all over and he cried. Jean stroked his hair soothingly. “It will be alright babe, everything will be alright…” He kept telling him. Michael wished that he could have been with Sam, next to him, in his arms. He hoped that this could only be a bad dream and they could just forget it soon. But he knew, that nothing would ever be the same, he would never be the same.

*************

Sam arrived to the station to wait the train that would bring Michael`s parents there. His mind felt restless, how would he get by with these people? What would they talk about? He wondered and tried hard to calm himself down. The train arrived to the station on time and peoples started to flow out. Sam held the sign up that said; Mr. & Mrs. Wills. Then he saw them, he recognized them from a photograph that Michael had once shown him.

He looked at the couple closely as they approached him. The woman was tall, perhaps little over 170cm, she was thin, she had dark brown hair, that she had arranged into a beautiful bun. She had a long, grey woolen material coat on, that admired her figure. You could have thought that she was a ten years younger than her true age. A true beauty she was. The man was taller than his wife, strong looking, he had grey hair that once had been black. He had blue eyes that had a tired look in them, you could see that he had been a very handsome man in his time. You could also see that Michael had inherited his looks more from his mothers side.

“Hello, you must be Samuel? I`m Evelyn Wills, this is my husband Henry Wills.” She introduced them. They shook hands. “Samuel Grey, Sam.” Sam said and shook the hand of Michael`s father. He looked at Evelyn`s brown eyes, that reminded him greatly of Michael, it pained his heart. “Did your trip went okay?” Sam asked then and took Evelyn`s bag to carry.

“Thank you, the trip went fine.” She said and smiled weakly. Even her smile reminded him from Michael. They were all a little bit unease, the conversation seemed forced.

They came to Sam`s apartment.

“You can sleep here if you like, there is plenty of room.” Sam said and dropped the bags down.

“Thank you, you have a really lovely home.” Mrs. Wills said and walked into the living room. Mr. Wills and Sam followed her. Evelyn had stopped in front of the bookshelf and looked at the numerous photos on it. He took one in her shaking hands. She had tears in her eyes.

“Oh my God, it really is him, he`s grown so much and still…” She began with trembling voice. “He look so happy in this.” She said and looked at Sam, smiling through her tears.

“Could I get you something? Coffee, tea, something to eat?” Sam asked and tried to smile back to her.

“I wouldn`t mind having a cup of tea, please.” Evelyn answered.

“And for you sir?” Sam asked.

”Tea would be fine, thank you.” He answered and sat down with his wife. She was still looking at the picture in her hand, looking at it longingly.

Sam returned to the living room with the tea tray.

“Has anything new come up from his disappearance? Who could have taken him and why? Where has he been these six years? What has happened to him?” Evelyn asked as she took the hold of her tea cup. “I`m sorry about all these questions, but…” She added then. Sam smiled to her with sympathy.

“It`s quite alright, of course you want to know everything possible…I just wish I knew where to start.” Sam said and looked at their expecting faces. “Michael disappeared three days ago, Tuesday night. We believe, that his ex-boyfriend; Jean Parouxe would be the one behind it.” Sam told them.

“A French man? I…” Evelyn started, not really knowing what she meant to say. She was still so confused about all of this.

“I think it`s best if I start from the beginning, what I know about Michael.” Sam said trying to think how much would be okay for him to tell.

“When Michael left, I understand that he was seeing some American. That was what we fought about only a day before he run away. That man was just too old for him, almost his fathers aged.” Evelyn cried out and looked at her husband, who stayed quiet.

“Yes, his name was Ricky, Michael was with him almost four years and they lived in New York together. He was quite violent towards him. Michael was afraid him too much to keep in touch with you.” Sam said, staring at his tea cup.

“We searched for him, we tried, we informed the police. And they did nothing! Not enough anyway, they said that it was like looking a needle from the hay swamp, that a person that didn`t want to be found, wouldn`t be easy to find…They should have done more, he was still so young, still a child, my child!” Evelyn cried and her husband wrapped his arm around her trying to calm her down.

“Michael regretted that he didn`t call you, there was many times that he was about to do so, but he was too afraid…Anyway, in New York, he met Jean and they arrived here two years ago, later we found out that Ricky and Jean had known each others before, meaning that they had been in a relationship of some sort before Michael had came into the picture.” When Sam said that, the horrifying thought came to him. Could Ricky be in this too? Could that man have Michael now? This thought scared him even more than thinking that it was just Jean behind it. He remembered all the horrifying story`s about this man, those that Michael had told him.

“What is it?” Evelyn asked, when she noticed his face paling.

“Oh, nothing important really, I just remembered something.” Sam said trying to pull himself together. Finally he was able to tell everything important to them. Jean`s jealousy, the violence of him and about his drinking. The next day he would go to the police station again.

The last of the day and the evening went better than expected, Evelyn had a great need to talk about her son, that she had been missing so many years, and Sam was happy to listen. Michael`s father Henry, seemed like a very serious man, you could read the deep worry and grief from his face, the things that had aged him so quickly. He didn`t talk much, he listened to them, walked through the apartment and at times went outside to smoke his cigar.

“This is Michael, when he was 5-years old.” Evelyn showed him some pictures that she had whit him. “He was such a sweet child, so warm hearted and kind. And just look at his eyes, my own little Bambi.” She said with sadness in her voice. Sam looked at the pictures with interest, it was nice to see what Michael had looked like as a child. At the same time, he felt sad, he wished that he could be there with them right now. “We got along just fine when he was a child, things started to get difficult when he turned 13. he was so stubborn. Had to do everything opposite of what I asked, had to be out late with his friends, well I guess that was just his age, teen-aged are like that….Then he started to close himself more from us, didn`t talk about what was going on in his life, like he used to. At 17, he told us, that he was gay, and me and Henry didn`t take that quite well. Michael is our only child, he could have had any girl, that he would have wanted, and I just always hoped to see him marry and have children of his own.” Evelyn shook her head.

“It doesn`t seem like such a big deal now, what ever he is, or isn`t, he`s our child, and so very dear to us both. I just wish I could see him again…All those nights that I laid awake in bed, regretting all the things I said to him then. If only one could turn back the time, to make things right…He`s room is just as he left it, I always hoped that one day he would return to us, return back home, but he never did…” Evelyn sighted deeply and looked at Sam. Sam smiled to her gently and took her smaller hand in his.

“Michael knows that you love him, and he loves you too. We all say somethings sometimes that we don`t really mean.” Sam said soothingly.

“It`s funny, I always thought that it would be easier to raise a boy than a girl, that you wouldn`t need to worry so much from a boy, I guess I was wrong….”

Sam sat in the living room late in to the night. Michael`s parents were sleeping in the bedroom. He looked at the pictures that Mrs. Wills had brought with her. His attention was fixed on a picture where Michael was 16-years old. It somehow fascinated him. He looked incredibly sexy in it, so sexy that it was almost like a crime, for someone so young to look like that. He looked straight into the camera and on his lips was a self-confidant smile. His lips seemed to invite who ever was looking to come to him. His eyes held a look in them that Sam had never before seen; I`m young, I`m damn sexy and I know it, the whole world is waiting for me… Sam felt tears in his eyes, he just missed him so damn much.


Sam walked to the bookshelf and took a video tape from the lower shelf. He came back to the couch and wrapped a blanket around himself.

“Wait, okay it`s straight now.” Sam heard his own voice saying. Michael stood in Jean`s kitchen and poured more wine into his glass.

“Sam has a new toy.” He grinned and tasted the wine. “Although, I really don`t like those things much, they take your soul with them.” He laughed.

“This is a good camera, one that doesn`t steal souls.” He`s own voice answered happily.

”Well, in that case then.” Michael smiled, and walked into the living room, Sam following him with the camera. Michael sat on the couch.

“My last day as a 22-years old, cheers to that and for better years.” Michael laughed.

“To that then.” Sam answered.

“My, my Mr. Grey, I`m beginning to feel quite drunk and you haven`t even touched your own drink, are you trying to get me into a helpless condition, so that you might use the situation into your own advantage?” Michael asked with a very civilized British accent, until he started to laugh again.

“Oh, Mr. Harris, you saw my clever plans, what can I do…” Sam heard his own voice, the playful, flirting sound in it. Michael smiled, and looked at him like wondering something. There was also some hint in his eyes. That look had almost drove Sam crazy, he had wanted him so bad, but he couldn`t touch him in the way he had wanted then, not because Michael had been with Jean.

“Jean will come home soon, he can`t stand me when I have been drinking, can you imagine that? He can`t stand me…I just wonder who has to put up with who.” Michael sighted. “He doesn`t make me laugh like you do, I don`t feel any desire towards him anymore…Oh god, I have definitely drink too much for saying this… don`t ever show this to him, he would skin me a life.” Michael laughed a nervous laughter. Finally he had admitted, what Sam had seen so long. From that, Sam had had the final courage to talk to him about it, but it had happened the next day. At that moment Jean returned home…

”Bonsoire Jean.” Michael said to him.

“Ah, Sam, how surprising to find you here again…You have started the celebration before hand.” Jean said with a dull voice as Sam was filming him. Michael had turned his eyes back to Sam and rolled his eyes so that Jean wouldn`t notice.

”Is this the horrid man, who has my son?” Sam heard Evelyn`s voice asking. He looked over his shoulder and saw her standing behind him.

“Yes, that was Jean.” Sam answered. “You couldn`t get sleep either?” He asked with sympathy.

“No, I keep wondering where he might be…It`s so horrible, not to be able to help your own child when they would need you.” Evelyn sighed and sat down beside him. ”I think you really love my son, and from what I saw in that tape, he loves you too, the way he looked at you…” Evelyn spoke with quiet tone and smiled sadly. Sam smiled back to her.

“I have never loved anyone, as much as I love your son. Your son is amazing.” Evelyn smiled.

“I know…Do you have any more videotapes of him?” She asked.

“Yes, I got few, you want to see?”

“Yes, I would like it very much.”

TBC.

©Kolgrim

Ch26-30