21-23 Love and broken hearts

Chapter 21.

I arrive back home, feeling oddly disappointed of the fact that I haven’t heard a word from Misha the whole weekend. I was sure he’d call me or something, and I was sure I’d be annoyed by it, but no; nothing. And then I realized that I don’t even know his last name, nor do I have his phone number.

Another slight disappointment fills me when I find my apartment quiet and empty. Another thing I was almost sure about; to find him there when I would return and the place would be a mess and at worst there would be a group of noisy Russians drinking the content of my bar cabinet. But no, nothing, no signs of him.

Oh I suppose it’s just good. I sigh, looking at the time; 8.30pm. I undress my clothes, take a long hot bath washing myself carefully and a part of me waits for him, listening to voices from outside my door, from the hall and feeling disappointed every time that the steps walk past my door. Did he forget me? Doesn’t he want to see me anymore? And why the fuck am I like this? I should be glad! I should be fucking thrilled.

I get up from the bath, dressing new clean clothes. I take a beer from the fridge and sit down in the living room in front of the TV. It’s 9:10 pm, he’s not coming? I was so sure he would. Where could he be? What is he doing now? Is he alright?

And then I scream at myself, when realising where my thoughts have once again ran off to.
“I hate that guy, he is an annoying prick, I am happy if I never have to see him again.” I tell myself out loud. It’s then that my doorbell rings.
“Misha.” I stand up quickly, perhaps a bit too quickly, place the beer down on the table and walk to the door. I take a deep breath trying to compose myself from acting like I had missed him.

“Pete?” I ask in confusion, I had not expected him. He uses my surprise to walk in, “What…?” I ask, my hand on the door, but I have no time to close it or do much anything, when two big guys follow him in and close the door, making me back up a little.

I look at them in confusion; Pete and the two guys I’ve never seen before; big, muscular and ugly. Pete turns and smiles at me,
“So you fucked with Marko at my cabin?” He asks, smiling still in a way that I don’t like and I am lost for words for a second.
“Look Pete, um can we talk about this later? I’m quite busy now. I’m going to have to ask all of you to leave.” I walk towards the door with intention of letting them out, but then one of the men grasps me and pushes me against the nearest wall, making me hit my head against the stone. He holds me there tightly, grinning at me.

“Let me go…What’s going on? Pete?” I ask looking at him with anger and part fear.

“You shouldn’t have touched what’s mine Joni, you know that… It makes me angry when other people touch my things. What are you going to do to make it up to me?” He walks closer to me, his smile never fading, his fingers touch my lips very briefly and I’m beginning to panic.
“Pete, let’s just talk about this, okay? Just ask your friends to leave and let’s sit down and talk.” The guy who has his beefy hands on me, whose breathing is kind of ragged and who looks at me as if wanting to eat me, looks then at Pete, who nods his head to him.

There’s a sudden blow to my stomach, I fall on my knees and try desperately to get air back into my lungs.
”Take him to the bedroom.” Pete tells them.

I’m being lifted up and dragged across the apartment and thrown harshly onto my bedroom floor, I taste blood in my mouth. With no time to react the guy pulls me up to my knees, his sweaty hand becoming to cover my mouth.

“Pretty…” The ugly beast whispers, hot breathing on my skin and my eyes widen with horror. Oh god, where is that annoying Russian when I need him?! Please Misha, please use your key, please come to me. I keep begging in my mind.

Chapter 22.

Pete walks closer, looking at me and smiling. He kneels down at my level, both of his friends are now holding me in place. Pete wouldn’t have a chance against me if he was alone, he knows it. He brings my shirt up as high as he can get it, his ugly friends help him with getting it off and I try to struggle, I try to scream, but they stop me. Too many hands.

I met Pete when I was 18, I hanged out with him, with his friends and he often made suggestions to me; which I always turned down. I wouldn’t bottom for him, or for anyone and after some time he gave up on trying. Friendship might be too strong of a word for our relationship, hanging out in same group of people; yes, but friends? No. I never did like him much and I should have kept my distance like I was once advised to do, but I was young and loved to party, hell I’m still young and love to party, and Pete and his friends held the best parties.

And now, now he’s going to use Marko as an excuse to get me? Against my will, but he thinks it’s justified? It feels hard to breathe, my heart is beating more wildly than ever and I keep praying in my mind for the only person who could save me now.

They move me onto the bed. One holds my upper body down, trying to keep me silenced at the same time, other one is fighting with the zip of my pants, pulling them down, undressing me, but I won’t let them so easily, I kick and I struggle with all that I have and they are cursing as they try their best to hold me down.

“Joni, Joni…” Pete says then, looming over me, his hand touches my forehead and my hair and still he smiles. Easy to smile when you have two big goons to help you. “You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you? This is for your own good. You need to be taught a thing or two.”

Oh great; everyone seems to be wanting to give me this lesson. Pete stands on the bedside, looks into my eyes as he slowly removes his belt. “I’ll have the first go, you can have him after I’m done.” He says calmly and I let out a muffled cry. Naked on the bed, my legs hauled open and kept that way, in my own apartment, on my own bed and it’s a nightmare that I can’t wake up from and part of me still questions if it’s really happening, hoping that I am just dreaming a bad and afoul dream.

“He sure fights a lot, dammed slut; almost kicked me on my manhood.” The one who holds my legs takes note, and hell yeah, I keep fighting, kicking and struggling, I won’t lay down for them willingly; never.

Kneeling down on the floor and touching my bum, Pete notices the bruise on it; he touches it making me wince.
“Someone’s been here before, eh Joni?” He asks slightly surprised.

“My boyfriend will kick your arse if you don’t let me go now; he’s big and angry and a Russian!” I hiss as I momentarily get the ability to speak. Oh God I would crawl at Misha’s feet, I’d do anything he would ask me if he only would come and save me now. Boyfriend? I’m not sure, but… I guess I wouldn’t mind, I just want him here, oh how I want him here.
“Boyfriend? A new one already?” Pete raises his eyebrow, his finger dangerously close to my opening. The one holding my upper body, kisses me then, straight on the lips, licking, sick sounds. I bite his tongue; get that you bastard. He slaps my face with anger.
“Don’t you try that again, or I’ll fucking hurt you so bad.”

Hands, all over me, and I can’t move, can’t escape. Pete shoves his finger inside me and I cry out with shocked surprise as it becomes even more real, even more terrifying.
“Easy now, easy…” A voice says, distant, calming; fake. “Good boy”

When my hope is already starting to die, when I think I can’t be saved, that I really am going to be raped and beaten in my own bedroom, I hear the merciful sound from the front door; key turning inside the lock and how the door slowly creaks open and I let out a relieved cry; I’m not alone anymore, I know it’s him. Pete frowns looking towards the bedroom door, pulling his fingers out. Misha’s voice calling my name. I close my eyes, starting to think that maybe there really is a God.



I have been trying my best not to contact him and I have succeeded, I don’t want my little bottom thinking he can control me and thinking that I can’t resist his charm. No, I must be the one in control and that means to make him wonder and doubt, I’ll come for him when it suits me, not the other way around.

A weekend has never felt as long as it did now, I really hope that he’s been a good boy, maybe little bad so I can punish him, but only a little.

Sunday, I hang out with my friends, in the evening we go to one pub to have some drinks. I keep glancing at the clock trying to decide what a proper time for a visit would be. I feel so incredibly horny, I can’t wait to be buried inside him again; my little bottom.

“Do you think that he’s waited enough?” I ask from my friends. Dimitri checks the time.

“Well…I say… Go and fuck him, you need it, he probably needs it, too.” He says then.
“And I say; make him wait a little more,” Johanna says.
“Yes, he’s waited long enough Vodka; just go.” Niko tells me then.
”So that was two yes and one no? Okay I go. See you and have fun.” I drink my beer glass empty and place it back on the table.
“See you! Tell him we said hello and that we want to see him!” Johanna shouts after me. I just wave my hand at them and keep walking.

It’s 9.40pm when I reach his door. I take the key and use it to get in.
”Joni?” I call him.
Hm… Strange; shoes on the floor, that I’m sure are not his, and then I hear strange noises from the bedroom, is he cheating again? But then again … A muffled cry?? Something very weird is going on. I rush towards the bedroom and open the door, I definitely didn’t expect to see this and I gasp in shock. Joni is lying on the bed, naked, two men holding him down as the third… I look at the third, belt loose, pants open, about to… Oh, no fucking way! I grasp the man; surprised to see me, I hit him once and throw him forcefully against the wall.
“Let him go now!” I roar then at the two guys. The one holding his legs, lets them loose and approaches me, keeping the distance, looking at me warily and the guy is big. The other one still holds Joni in place, looking a bit nervous. The smaller man who I just threw against the wall stumbles up from the floor. I need to be quick. I punch my fist at the big guy’s face and quickly move away before he has time to punch me back. His nose starts to bleed.

“You better let go of my boyfriend and leave NOW! Or hell will break loose and I swear you’ll all find yourself in jail if you don’t do what I say.”
“Relax, we were just… messing a little.” The man who was about to stick his dick inside my little bottom says. I. Want. To. Kill. Him. I glare at him, then I grasp his throat squeeze it.
“If I ever find you anywhere near Joni; you’ll all be so dead!” I roar then, ready to tear his head off if he won’t listen. The guy is ready to wet himself, a sorry excuse of a man. “Do you understand?” He nods carefully and I release my hold.
“Aki, Markus; let’s go.” He says then, I’m trembling from anger, only seconds away from actually committing a murder. I can’t let that guy so easily, so before he actually has time to walk out of the room I punch him hard on his face and deliver a fierce powerful kick on his crotch. “And I fucking mean what I said; you fucking sick perverse!” They leave, one limping in agony caused by my kick.

I force myself to relax, and I look at Joni; who sits up carefully, there are tears under his eyes and his face looks pale, his eyes look shocked. Anyone would be shocked after that.

“Are you alright?” I ask softly and concerned, approaching the bed. He looks at me then, nods his head and finally throws himself in my arms and I hold him, trying to soothe him as best as I can.
“They were so ugly Misha…so ugly, smelling…” He whispers, holding on to me even more tightly.
“So ugly…”
“They are gone now, come, dress up; I take you home with me.” He nods his head and gets up from the bed, I notice he’s a bit shaky.

“Baby…” I stand up and walk over to him; he dressed his shirt the wrong way. He looks at me in confusion. “Your shirt is upside down.” I tell him softly and he looks at himself.
“Oh, how stupid of me.” He says then takes it off turns it and dresses it back on.

“I’ll call a cab.” I tell him then and watch as he takes the clothes from the floor, walks into the kitchen and throws them into the trash can. Then he packs up some stuff; toothbrush, deodorant, a change of clothes. He looks at the bed then; suddenly he rips the sheets off from it, walks into the bathroom and stuffs them into the washing machine.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” I ask him with a worry.
“Yeah, of course I am.” He answers simply and I’m not that convinced.

When we get into the taxi, he carefully takes my hand in his, concentrating on the view from the window. “Thank you Misha.” He whispers then, turning his eyes back on me.
“Anytime, I can’t leave you alone anymore can I? Seems that you attract danger.” He smiles just a little and then lays his head on my shoulder.

“Did you mean that boyfriend thing? You called me your boyfriend.” He asks quietly.
“Yes, I did.” I answer and bring my hand in his hair playing with it.
“Okay what?”
“Okay I’ll be your boyfriend.” I smile at him, wrap my arm around him. I can see a smile on the woman’s face who drives the taxi; and I think I heard a little, quiet; aw?

The poor thing had a very rough day today, I decide to give up on the master thing for tonight, well until I’m sure he’s really okay; how far did they go anyway? I should have come earlier, I somehow feel guilty about not being there early, I really was only seconds away from him being… Poor thing, he looks so young now, sitting there; on my couch in front of the TV.
“I’d like a glass of something strong.” He tells me, “Please?” He adds.
“I’ll bring you a drink, are you hungry?” I call from the kitchen. Pouring him a glass of rum coke.
“I’m fine, tired.” He tells me, I walk over to him and give him the glass which he takes and drinks.
“I think you should eat something, I’ll make you an omelette.” I tell him then.
“You’ll make me?” He asks. I nod my head.

I return to him, leaving the omelette on the stove to cook. I give him a beer, he looks at me gratefully and takes a sip.
“Um, you know…it’s alright to cry if you… um, feel like it?” Ugh, I’m so horrible at stuff like this.
“Cry? Why would I cry, I’m a man and not some fucking cry baby.” He looks at the TV a frown on his face, trying his best not to look at me.
“I’m here for you Joni…and I…”

He brings his hand up to his face and rubs his eyes.
“My eyes sting, must have gotten some trash in them…” He whispers, he sniffs, biting his lips and looking away, he trembles.
“Joni…” I move a bit closer, touch his shoulder and at first he tries to shake my hand away, still avoiding my gaze.
“I’m fine…” He lies.
“You don’t have to say your fine, you don’t have to act like you’re fine; Joni, you were almost raped tonight and I think it just needs to be said, needs to be faced so you can get it out of your system.” And then he breaks down, his shoulders down and he hides his face completely. I pull him close, wrapping my arms around him, letting him cry until my shirt is all wet from his tears. I rock him gently.
“It’s alright, just let it out, you’re safe now. I won’t let them anywhere near you again, I promise.”
And finally he’s cried enough, but still he stays close to me and I play with his hair.
“I think I need to send a thank-you note to Cecilia.” He whispers quietly, I kiss the crown of his head, smile very lightly,
“Yes… I’m glad that she… that you…” He sighs deeply, frustrated of not finding the right words. “If I hadn’t met you … I’d be laying in my bedroom now; bruised and raped and… It would have been Pete to…” Knowing what he means I kiss his forehead again.
“But it wasn’t… You’re mine now and I won’t let anyone else have you, and certainly not like that. But yes, I think we could both send a thank-you note to Cecilia.” I smile softly. Yes, I really want to thank her; who would have known that a drunken challenge to tame a cheating top, would get me here, would get us here?

“So you knew those guys?” I ask then.
“I knew Pete… not the other two… He… um. You must know about Jesse and me, since you know Cecilia. Pete was the boyfriend of the guy who I cheated on Jesse with… Oh, which reminds me; I really need to warn Marko, that ex of his is crazy! Where did I put my phone?” He sits up, looking around.
“They won’t get away with what they tried to do to you, I swear to God. And whoever this Marko is; I’ll make sure he won’t get to touch him either.” I tell him squeezing his hand. He smiles to me.
“Thank you Misha, for everything…” and carefully he reaches out to kiss me, I give him a gentle kiss back, touch his face tenderly. Yes, I could really get used to him.

Chapter 23.


I was kind of surprised to see when my sister received a bouquet of flowers and a thank you note from Joni… I mean what?? And if that wasn’t enough there were also greetings and thank you from Vodka as well. Cecilia, when getting the delivery was just as surprised as I was, she couldn’t close her mouth for good 5 minutes or so.

This is the strangest summer ever…

Joni called me later, asked me when I’d like to come and pick up my stuff from his place. I agreed to meet him the next day, at the shopping mall, where he works as a guard.


I wait for him, at the same coffee place, where I usually waited for him when we were still an item. Feels odd sitting here now, since everything has changed so fast. I hear the sound of his laughter, he’s walking my way, chatting with the other guard, both dressed in their uniforms, and a smile creeps on my lips, I can’t help but to admire how handsome Joni looks. I still remember the day when I first saw him wearing that uniform, I think it was the day when I really fell for him, the day when I had sex for the first time in my life.

His eyes find me and he smiles, saying a quick goodbye to the other man. He walks towards me.
“Hey little one,” He teases, “sorry I’m late, we had a bit of a situation, well the clothing shop upstairs had a situation and they needed us to solve it… so, anyway, let me just run down and change, I’ll be right with you.”
“I’ll be here.” I tell him.
“Would you like something while waiting; more coffee? A glass of coke?”
“No, I’m fine,”
“Are you sure?” He raises his eyebrow. I nod my head. “It’s such a hot day, let me just get you a drink of something.” He says and walks away before I have time to say anything. He tells something to the coffee girl, she laughs, blushes: gods they always do that. And still, even though I’m not his anymore, I find it annoying. He soon returns with a fresh strawberry shake, which he places down in front of me.
“There, now, give me like 10 minutes or so and I’ll be back.”
“15 minutes, alright, I’ll wait.” I grin at him, knowing he’d take his time in front of the mirror. He smiles and shakes his head as he walks away. I watch him go; it still feels so odd.


“How have you been?” He asks as we walk towards the bus station.
“I’ve been alright… I’ve…” I start, then look at him, not sure if I should tell him about Marko or not

“I’ve heard that you’re seeing someone new,” he says then, and gives me a smile, a sad smile somehow and I’m about to reply when he already continues, “so, you and Marko, huh?” I smile, looking down at my shoes.
“Yeah, me and Marko.” I tell him.
He’s quiet for a while. There’s a frown on his face like he’s thinking about something really hard.

“What do two bottoms do together?” He ponders out loud, and glances at me, I can’t help but to laugh.
“How’s Vodka doing?” I ask after I’ve gotten over the laughter, I raise my eyebrow bemusedly. Cecilia told me everything later, after the flower incident. Joni looks a bit surprised with my question, but he gets my point and mutters something I can’t hear clearly. “What was that?”
“I didn’t know that you knew…”
“I saw the flowers and Cecilia filled me in.”
“Ah yes, the flowers, I was drunk when I ordered them,” he shakes his head, but smiles. Silence settles between us. I almost reach for his hand, out of old memory, but before my hand has time to do what it was about to do, I remember and pull back.

It’s not like I would want him back, not like I would rather be with him than Marko, it is just that it’s been such a short time since we broke up, and I guess part of me hasn’t realised the change yet and my body still responds to his closeness, the familiar smell of his cologne, the familiar smile on his face and we look at each others silently, unsure what to say.

“How was work?” I decide to ask, wanting to get rid of this uncomfortable silence.
“Nightmare,” he replies, but grins after. “It was the first day after holiday, you know how it is… Gods these holidays end too fast, don’t they?”
“I know, my work starts next week, and I hate it.”
“Yes, I remember. I mean I remember that your work starts next week.”

The bus arrives and we get in, I sit next to him, the warmth of his, so close and again my hand almost reaches out to touch his thigh, I remind myself: it’s over, we are nothing but friends now. And I think of Joni with Vodka, trying to imagine him with the tall, well build blond. I partly feel jealous; Joni gave to Vodka what he refused to give me.

My mind wanders off to my current boyfriend then, how cute he was this morning, how he makes me laugh and how he kissed my nose. How he danced for me last night, Shakira’s hips don’t lie song, how sexy he looked and how funny it was at the same time, how we made love after everyone else was asleep.
“What are you smiling about?” Joni asks and I turn my face to look at him.
“Oh, just thought of something.” I tell him and he nods his head and gives me a smile.

After Joni, I think I need to talk to Kim, it bothers me greatly what happened between us that night and I haven’t heard a word of him since, part of me is feeling guilty. I always feel guilty about everything, it’s frustrating and tiresome.


Hard to concentrate on work when my mind is constantly with him, my little bottom. I stare at the computer screen, trying to focus, but then I remember how he moaned so sweetly as I fucked him two nights ago, damn I feel horny, it’s been exact 36 hours since I last had him, clearly far too long, but last night he spend at his dad’s place.

Maybe I should get him some sort of gift? What to get him I wonder, what could it be…hm…

“Lost in your thoughts I see, where could they have wondered of to? Or should I ask to who?” I raise my head and find find myself looking into the amused eyes of Cecilia.
“I was working, I’m very busy, can’t you see?” I ask her, unable to hide a smile as I’m typing.
“Look Vodka, I got the flowers, I got the thank you note, now what on earth was that?”
“A prove to you that I won?” I ask innocently.
“Hm.. okay, I can admit, you have won…but… I think you enjoy more than just the victory of our bet, and really; what did you do to get Joni send me flowers?”
“What I did? He was in trouble, I came just in time, that’s enough.” Remembering that night still makes my blood boil, I have to stop typing to collect myself.
“Are you…” She starts, I look at her.
“Am I what?”
“Are you in love, Vodka?” She asks and I start to laugh.
“In love? Don’t talk silly woman, I don’t do love.”
“I’ve watch you the whole day my friend, that look in your eyes, that smile that keeps creeping its way on to your lips, and…” She suddenly opens my desk drawer. “ah-ha!” She has Joni’s picture in her hands. “I was right!” I snatch the picture from her, and put it back into my drawer.
“Look, I’m not in love, I- I like him, he’s sexy and he’s weird and I like sexy and weird and I like his butt. That’s it.”
“You keep telling yourself that, but I still say that you’re in love and it should be you two to take me out, because I matched you two up, but oh I guess the flowers will do!” She says as she walks to her own desk. In love? Me? No, only women fall so fast. I’m in lust, that’s what I am.

After work I decide to hold on to the idea of getting him a gift. I walk past a flower shop, glancing at the bouquets in the window, quite pretty… but yeah right; did you really expect me to give my bottom some freaking flowers? Not likely, I have something on my mind, something entirely different, something both of us will enjoy…



We reach the apartment where I used to live with him. It’s hot in, I feel like undressing, but that wouldn’t be very proper now would it?
“It’s freaking hot,” Joni complains as he walks over to the living room window and opens it, not that it helps much, as the air outside is quite heavy. “Do you mind if I take a quick cold shower?” He asks then.
“No, I can read while waiting or something.”
“Thanks, I won’t be long.” He promises and walks into the bathroom. “There’s beer in the fridge if you want!” He shouts then, soon I hear the water running. Then I get a text message, from Marko, I smile seeing his name and open it.
Guess what honey? They offered me a job from McDonald’s, ugh; grease! Hehe, but it’s money right? Do you still love me if I smell like french fries and grease? *puppy eyes* Okay I am going home now, shall I come to your house this evening or do you have something else?
I answer him straight away,
You know I’d love you, it just might make me wanna eat you *grins* And of course I want you to come to our house! I can come pick you up from your dad’s with Ceci once I’m done here:I’ll call you. *kisses*

Finally Joni comes out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist.
“Just going to change my clothes!” He shouts from the bedroom.


He comes back, walks into the kitchen with me, his hair still wet.

“Would you like some coffee?”
“Why not?” I answer as I sit down and watch as he prepares for it silently.

We sit down to drink the coffee,
“I tried to send a text message to Marko last week, but I think I have his number wrong.” Joni tells me then.
“Marko, why?” I raise my eyebrow is suspicion.
“Well…” He coughs, looks down at his cup. “Pete is kind of… I mean he is a very, very disturbed man, he has some serious issues…he…” Joni takes a sip of his coffee, frown on his face.
“He what?” I ask him.
“He came here a week…no, I mean two weeks ago, with two other guys and he… Well anyway… Just tell Marko to be careful, okay?”
“Okay this is not nice, should I worry? I mean really worry about him?” I ask, already starting to worry.
“Nah… Just tell him to avoid Pete, that’s all.”

That’s when the front door opens.
“Joni babe? Are you home, I have a gift for you.” A man’s voice calls from the hall. I watch as Joni gets up, murmuring quick ‘excuse me’, but before he actually gets out, we both see Vodka at the doorway, holding a big, black…



Oh great Misha is back, sooner than what I expected and I did not intend for Jesse and him to meet yet. Thinking it would be so weird to have the two of them here at the same time. I quickly mutter an excuse to Jesse, my intention to go and meet my new man in the hall but then Misha makes the situation even more uncomfortable by appearing to the kitchen doorway with…? OH MY GOD!

”Look what I got for you! A present for my little obe-” He stops when spotting Jesse sitting there. I quickly walk to him and lead him out of the room.

”Misha, what the fuck???” I ask him pointing at the black thing in his hand. He looks at me like I’ve gone crazy.
”I wanted to ask the same thing! I come here, bringing you this present and see you with your ex! What is he doing here anyway?”

”Jesse, came here, to pick up his stuff, remember?” I ask him and again take a quick look of that scary thing in his hands, ”and what the fuck is that???” Uh, this is soooo not good.

”This?” He smiles mischievously, ”This, my little bottom, is a present for you!” He tells me with a smile and kisses my lips quickly. ”And I fully intend to use it on you … later today. Just tell Jesse to get lost and …” He doesn’t finish his sentence, just looks at me and winks his eye.

I look at the thing with m mouth open, he can’t possibly expect me to just… take that thing… In my ass… can he? It is fucking huge!
”Uh… that is sooo not going in me!” I tell him then. ”Jesse?” I call my ex’s name, about to turn around. Must make Jesse stay a bit longer.


He looks a bit scared but why would he? It’s nothing bigger than me …well okay it is like a little bigger, but…. He calls for Jesse and it irks me. He wants to fight over that? Oh, the a fight he will get! I catch his wrist before he manages to turn around and whisper in his ear, ”You haven’t forgotten who is master here, I hope.” At the moment Jesse enters the living room and I can’t help but remark, hoping to scare Joni’s ex, ”You will love it inside you.” The boy looks at me with his eyes big and then he stared at the VBBD, which is what I have named Joni’s present: the very big, black dildo. Joni is actually blushing a little, he clears his throat.

”Um, I think uh- I should leave? Just take my stuff and er-” The boy speaks out.

”Oh what’s the hurry? More coffee?” Joni pulls his wrist free and is about to walk towards the kitchen.
”Joni, I- I think I really should leave Ceci is picking me up soon and-” Jesse says.
”Yes, I think you should, my little bottom is getting impatient,” I wink at Jesse who looks more and more panicked and I can’t help smirking when he blushes.

”So um, my stuff?” Jesse walks past us, towards the bedroom, and Joni follows him. I just want that small guy out, okay, not that I have anything bad towards Jesse, I’m sure he is a nice guy and all that, but now he’s stepping dangerously close to my property and an ex boyfriend is always an ex boyfriend so no matter how nice they are, you are not supposed to like the ex boyfriends, especially the ones that are so recent.

I wait patiently, watching Jesse taking out the boxes and then leaving the apartment. I look at my little blushing bottom. ”Finally we’re alone …” I say suggestively. He flees to the living room and turns the TV on.
”The news is on, interesting.” He takes note, trying to look really interested about the… I take a look at the TV screen… some boring stuff about the country’s politics.
“Since when have you been interested in the politics?” I ask him walking closer.
“Since… since always.” He tells me. “Shh… I’m trying to listen here.” I sit next to him, put the VBBD on the coffee table in front of Joni. Then I take the remote control, turn off the TV and lean towards Joni, nibbling at his ear, the one that is closer to me. ”Um, come on, I can bet you’ll like it, Joni,” I murmur into his ear. He takes another look at it.
”Um, so big, I don’t know.” He mutters, measuring the thing with his eyes.
”What’s there to be afraid of?” I encourage him, licking around the shell of his ear. ”Just take it and check it yourself.”


Okay I guess I can like, um touch it? I wonder to myself, and I don’t answer anything, just lean forward and touch it carefully.

”You are such a pervert,” I retort then, ”Does your mother know what a pervert you are?”

”Pervert? Me?” He looks at me innocently. “And even if I am … What about you? Does your father know you’re letting a pervert come to your house? Or does he still believe I am a repairman?”

I glance at him. My father, yes, he didn’t believe the repairman thing really, kept asking and asking, so… ”He wants to meet you,” I tell him then, ”but dunno, if I want to take such a pervert to meet my father.” I try to hide a smile.

”Oh, I feel offended,” He smirks, ”Let’s check who’s the bigger pervert here. I bet I could make you scream and I would do it, using only the present, you know?”

”I’m quite busy now,” I tell him, deciding to tease him. So I stand up from the couch wondering what to do. It’s fun to tease him, the pervert.
”Busy doing what? Imagining this present being used?” He asks, eyebrows raised, a grin on his face. ”Well, you don’t have to imagine anything, you can have the real thing here,” He adds then.

”I-” Again I look at the thing; he’s so eager to… to get inside of me. The dammed pervert has apparently changed me into a pervert too, because I am actually starting to wonder what it would feel like? Would it fit? ”Did you have to scare Jesse off like that? Did you have to show him that… that thing?” I point at it.
”Oh, he’s a big boy himself, it’s nothing he hasn’t seen, Joni,” He stands up and takes the thing. ”And why do you keep calling it ’a thing’? It’s a dildo,” He smiles, takes my hand and starts walking me towards the bedroom.

I try to pull myself free from his hold, struggling as his hold on me tightens, but it’s just a game really. Game we both know to love. ”Keep that dildo away from my ass.” I hiss at him stubbornly.

He drags me to the bed, “Lie on your stomach!” He says with a demanding voice.

”I am not your little dog to do what you demand me to,” I snap at him. I move on the bed, towards the other side, away from him. I look at Misha then, narrowing my eyes, watching him, trying to calculate his next move
”Hm, well … I was planning on giving you a massage …” He tells me with a tempting voice.

A massage? Hm… I wouldn’t mind a massage, massages are good, my muscles certainly would need it after work. But… it’s the same thing I used back in my time, give massage to Jesse and get my way with him after. Oh but it does sound so tempting. ”A massage?” I ask him with slight suspicion.


”Yes, a slow, relaxing massage … Do you have some king of body oil?” I ask him, hoping he has that stuff. I want him to relax and become more … willing to what I am planning to do AFTER the massage. He looks at me wondering I decide to offer him a smile.

”Body oil? Yes, of course I have body oil.” He says then and reaches to take the bottle from under the bed, he hands it to me. “Here.”

”Ah,” I nod my head and smile, taking the bottle from him. ”Now, my little obedient bottom, please do strip and lie down on the bed on your stomach,” I order half jokingly and go to the kitchen to ’nuke’ the oil. I put it into a microwave oven for just a few seconds so that it isn’t cold when I will be giving him the massage of his life. Then I come back to the room, asking from the door, ”You’re ready?”
“What does it look like?” He asks. I look at him, lying on the bed, naked and I can’t help but feel excited; he’s there, waiting for me and looking incredibly hot … ”Um, looks like you’re waiting for that dildo,” I joke and I climb onto the bed, straddling his thighs. I open the bottle with a ’pop’ and drop some oil in my hand, checking if it’s not too hot. I don’t want to scald my little bottom. The oil is warm and velvety on my hand, just perfect for the massage. I decide to drip it onto his back in the area of his shoulders; I will start from the top and then slowly go downwards, making him more and more impatient. And then … oh, yes, I will prove him that he LIKES that dildo.

”I’m waiting for my massage, not that thing, which is not going in there by the way,” He tells me, his eyes are close and soon I hear him moan from pleasure.

I slowly slide my hands on his skin, smooth with oil, pressing in all the right points and rubbing over the right muscles. Sometimes I press stronger, when I feel a hard knott under my fingers. ”You like it, I hope?” I ask him, in the meantime going a bit lower. I’m massaging now the middle of his back.
”I love it, feels good,” He whispers.

I smirk to myself. My plan is working so wonderfully! Without any further ado I continue to massage his back in slow sensual strokes; my hands get closer to his butt but I am trying not to hurry up with it; the last thing I need now is to scare him. I do wonder if he really is afraid of that dildo; it’s not the biggest one I could get but it’s sizable, I agree. ”Joni,” I ask him, trying to distract him with a conversation, ”why are you afraid of that dildo?”


I hear him saying my name and I hear him questioning why I’m afraid. I am quiet for a second, wondering what to say. ”Uh, well… it is freaking big and…” Gods I sound like an idiot… ”It’s not like I’m scared of it…” I don’t fear anything, I am fearless…. Um, yeah right… so maybe there are some things that scare me and maybe I am a little bit scared of that dildo, even though it sounds ridiculous. I know most bottoms would be thrilled with that thing, but I’m not like the most.

”I see that you’re afraid,” He states, his voice sounds a bit hurt when he continues; ”You don’t trust me? You know I wouldn’t do anything that would seriously hurt you, Joni.” His hands stop their movement.

Again I take my time before answering. I don’t want him to think that I wouldn’t trust him… After what happened, almost happened… I’d be seriously hurt if he hadn’t come here that night. That is what scares me; that night scares me and I’ve noticed that I don’t like at all being alone anymore especially here at my apartment. I sigh. ”I- I do trust you Misha, I know you wouldn’t hurt me intentionally, seriously… so…” I hesitate, but then decide to say what will show him my trust. ”… I trust you and so we can play… with the dildo if you like.”


I feel my breath hitch but it has nothing to do with the dildo I have bought, nothing at all. In fact, all the enticing visions of Joni writhing on the bed as I use the dildo, fly away from my head. He showed me so much trust that I can’t believe it; I can’t believe he gave in so easily. I resume the massage, once again my hands slide gently over his skin, finally reaching his buttocks. Misha from several minutes ago would get impatient to finally do what he had been thinking of for the last couple of days but … somehow I am not that Misha anymore. I suddenly feel something warm, something that I have never felt before … or maybe that I have been feeling lately but never let myself admit it. ”Joni …” I swallow thickly. ”I want to make love to you.”


I open my eyes in surprise of his words and I lift my head and turn to look at him. Did he just say he wants to… make love to me?… Make love?… and I’m lost for words as I did not expect to hear those words from him, but I nod my head slowly, keeping my eyes on his. Funny feeling inside. He keeps surprising me and he keeps making me notice whole new things in myself as well,
”I want to make love with you as well,” I whisper then, swallowing, suddenly feeling like I’m about to sleep with him for the very first time.


I look at him and feel myself smile warmly. For the first time I don’t want to dominate him, I just want to be with him and show him that … somehow he became somebody … important. More important than someone I would fu- … and even this word is not correct now, it is not the word I should be using now. I get off from his thighs, allowing him free movement and sit on the bed. ”Will you … kiss me?” I voluntarily give him the opportunity of the first move. And I wait to see what he will do. He sits up slowly. He leans forward, licks his lips and then softly his lips meet with my own. His eyes flicked open, short kisses, careful, trying. I bring my hands in his hair, twirling my fingers in their softness. He moves his hands on the hem of my shirt pulling it up. ”Take this off?” He asks and I obediently lift my arms up, to help him to undress me.

Once it is off, he throws it onto the floor somewhere. His lips on my neck, on my shoulder, his hands moving down to open my pants.

Those small kisses are maddening, lighting desire in my body but again, it’s something different than I have felt with him previously. When his hand touches my erection, massaging it through the fabric of my pants, I gasp. The sheer intensity of what I am experiencing is scary. In any other situation, with anyone else I would take the control back, I would break the spell … but now, with him, I let it continue. I lean towards him and brush my lips over his, delicately and almost hesitantly as if this was our first kiss. And it seems it is, I don’t know why. After the initial touch of our lips I let my tongue trace along his lower lip, tasting sweetness mixed with something I recognize as Joni’s taste. When did I even notice what’s his taste is like?


I don’t know what it is, but it is a whole new feeling to me. I tremble from want and I feel more now than I’ve ever felt whit anyone, it almost scares me.

How careful the touches are, how gentle, and how captivated I am with his eyes. Wanting to feel, to touch, to taste, to smell. He kisses me, I think it might be the best kiss I’ve ever shared and this time I don’t want to fight him, I want him. Hesitantly I move to sit on his lap, getting close, kissing him. I want to be his and no one else’s and I want him to be mine and no one else’s, that’s the thought on my mind at this moment.

I feel his hands going around me. His left hand on my hip, kissing me, I feel his tongue entering my mouth and how it dances with my own.

I start rocking my hips feeling his hardness and I hold on to him, feeling his body and how warm he is. I nuzzle the side of his neck, landing kisses on his skin. ”I want you…” I whisper, nibbling his ear gently. And I really do want him, I never thought that I would say it, but; ”I want you inside, I want to feel you inside.”


The Misha from an hour ago would smirk triumphantly, hearing those words; they are the ultimate prove of submission but the Misha I am now only feels hotter and suddenly I can’t breathe normally. Him nipping at my ears, the rocking motion of his hips … everything that is him, makes me want him so much. I feel my erection get painful but I discover I am in no hurry. What a funny feeling, to want somebody until it’s painful and at the same time be unwilling to do the first step. I think this is called … I lean back and on my elbows, looking at his beautiful body as he rocks impatiently. I smile once again, I hope encouragingly. ”Whatever you want, Joni. Do whatever you want.”

I watch as he moves to take the body oil, he helps me out of my pants and I simply let him do what he will. He takes some oil on his hands and massages it on my cock, I throw my head back and moan. When his hands move away I open my eyes to see what he is doing, quickly preparing himself with the oil. He moves then, legs on each side of me. He takes a hold of my cock and lowers himself down slowly, my cock against his opening and he pushes down some more. He lets out small sound of pain, gasping as the head of my cock moves in. He trembles.

”Be careful,” I whisper, wanting to just slam up and into him but I would never want to cause him pain, not this time. I want him to enjoy, truly enjoy. He looks at me and nods his head, sliding down all the way, biting his lower lip. He moves a little, finding a better position for himself.

I really have to restrain myself from starting to move; this time it’s about him, not me. I want him to do it at his pace and the way he wants. And I realize he hasn’t prepared himself sufficiently so it’s even more ’no-no’ for me. But it is hard now, him feeling so tight around me and me almost going dizzy with the pleasure. ”Joooni,” I moan into his mouth when he kisses me; his hands on my body clench a little and I don’t know if it’s from pain he is feeling … ”If I’m hurting you, just tell me.” I don’t want him to hurt, not now, when everything is so perfect.

”No, I’m alright,” he assures with a whisper, ”Just need a second to…” He breathes out, smiling softly and I bring my hand to touch his face, still seeing slight pain on his features that I wish I cold just wipe away.


After awhile I decide to just I start moving. Slowly getting used to it, to him. The pain leaves me finally and I can start moving a bit faster, trying to find the right rhythm, hoping that I’m doing alright, after all I don’t have that much experience with bottoming and this is the first time he’s letting me have the control. ”Is this alright?” I ask him, feeling a little out of breath and sounding that way too. ”Tell me if I’m doing wrong.”

”It’s perfect, you’re sooo perfect,” He throws his head backwards, biting his lower lip from pleasure. I smile, happy with his words and then I place my hands on his chest. ”Lay down,” I urge him and he does it. I bring my hands on his shoulders, and start moving again. Sweat forming on my skin, I lick my lips and moan, trying to find the best position where he’d hit my prostate better.


I watch him as he moves, as his face fills with pleasure whenever he manages to get me rub over his prostate. I could come from just watching him but that would be a disaster, literally. So I’m making every effort not to.

He looks into my eyes, and then he leans down to kiss me. ”You feel good inside me, you pervert.” He whispers to me.

”But …” I find talking difficult; his rocking motion is driving me crazy and yet I still try to restrain myself, ”…your pervert, aren’t I?”
”Yes, my pervert.” He kisses my neck and I smile at his words. After that I find his lips on mine again and that kiss is the last straw; I had had an iron grip over my body but now it starts to move. My hips shift upwards and I gasp straight into his mouth. Uh, have to be more careful here … yet my hips defy my control once more and they rise to meet Joni’s and after a few seconds I am unable to control their movement. I feel as if I wanted to be one with him, as if no matter how close we are to each other, we’re not close enough. At the same time I feel the burning in my lower stomach grow, become persistent and … I want it to last, I want to be with him, but my body, the cool, controlled body comes closer to the climax with every moment. I don’t want to leave him behind; I reach with my hand to his erection, giving it a firm stroke.

He gasps. “Misha,” he moans out, “Oh god, oh god…” His body tenses and he cums then.

The suddenness of Joni’s climax catches me by surprise and I tense all over my body, climaxing myself, biting my lips until they bleed because all I want to do is to shout that I love him. For a long moment I feel him and myself tremble from the intense pleasure, I feel his fingers clamp over my shoulders. I am not sure what finally brings me back from my Joni induced high. And I remember what I wanted to shout. I love him? No, that can’t be, we know each other for far too short! People just don’t fall in love that fast, it only happens in fairy tales, right? Or do they? Can they?? Just follow the heart, Misha. ”Joni …” I whisper to him, ”Would you be … terribly angry if I told you something?”

Joni, who lies on top of me, opens his eyes to look at me
”Why would I be angry?” he asks in confusion. ”Tell away, anything,” He whispers then.
”It may sound stupid so don’t start shouting at me …” I mutter nervously.


I raise my eyebrow, wondering why he’s so nervous, I didn’t know he could ever get nervous. ”I won’t shout at you…” I start unsure, ”I promise,” I add then, hoping it’s not anything bad.


”God, I hope I will not make you mad … because I have never said that to anyone so I kind of lack practice …” I try to explain and not to stutter at the same time. I hate it when I do something for the first time; it always makes me feel like a virgin, somehow. ”I was thinking about … us and … I think …”

”Go on,” He encourages me.

”If you don’t feel the same I will totally understand …” I try to be a step ahead of Joni if he says I’m stupid or that he really doesn’t … Even thinking about it now hurts. Funny …
”Um, what I want to say …” I don’t even look at him anymore, I look away, not wanting to see his eyes if he would feel different. And he probably feels different, after all this stuff I have pulled on him … ”I think I am … in love with you. There, I said it,” I flinch. Ugh, it sounded terrible!


He’s so adorable like this, he is HUMAN, wow, he is just as vulnerable as the rest of us. I smile as I look at him and then… I wake from my thoughts, huh? Did he just tell me that…? He loves me? As in loves me?
“Oh,” I breathe out, “Thank you,” I stutter then. He lifts his hand to his face.
“Man I feel stupid now,” he hits his head, and keeps his hand to cover his eyes and only then does it truly hit me what just happened, truly hit me what he told me and how much it took for him to tell me that. Oh God and what did I just tell him? Thank you?? A fucking thank you? I think, it might be one of the worst answers that one could give to ones partner when they confess their love to you. Oh man I am the idiot here. Suddenly the right answer comes to me as clear as the day.

”Look at me,” I whisper, taking his hand away from his face. ”I think… I think I love you too, you silly pervert,” I know it’s fast but… It feels right.

”You … you do?” He asks. ”Can you repeat that?”

”Um, I love you,” I whisper, kiss his neck, laying there with him, feeling warm and safe here, by his side. ”I think I must take you to meet my dad now, if you’d like to come? I mean not now but um in the coming days,”


I smile more wildly than I’ve ever smiled before, I think I’ve never felt as happy as I do now.

”I’d like that,” I nod my head, reaching with my arm and bringing him closer to me. I feel him breathe, I feel he is still slick from sweat and that oil and I would never exchange this moment for anything in the world. ”And I do hope you’ll introduce me properly this time. We can’t pretend that I am a repairman any longer,” I chuckle. Of course, his father must know that but I want to tease my litt- no. Wrong. I want to tease JONI.


”I suppose not, I’ll introduce you properly Misha, as my boyfriend.” I tell him, deciding that I just want to stay there and enjoy the moment with him, the calm and insanely happy feeling inside. ”I could stay in bed like this the whole evening and night.” I could stay beside him forever, I keep smiling, happy and calm, relaxed.
”Well, we can, I don’t have to go anywhere, and probably neither do you,” he murmurs sleepily.

”No, can’t remember that I would…” I whisper back, yawning and closing my eyes. ”Maybe later we have time for that present you got me,” I grin with my eyes closed. Well he was, after all, so excited about it, so how could I deny him his fun?

Chapters 24-25


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